Monday, August 17, 2015

Raw 8-17-15

 Wound up getting called into work at the last minute, which wound up being a good thing - had a fantastic quarterly evaluation. Thanks to the HDPVR, I've got the show recorded - so beyond some darker and lower-quality screens, things should be about the same as normal, but with commercial skipping! Steph and HHH say that tonight is like Christmas morning. They have the Summerslam promo song playing over this, which is odd - and we get a graphic for Seth vs. Cena. Steph hypes up Sasha vs. Nikki tonight as a champion vs. champion match. Orton's out and Cesaro follows him while Cole talks about Sportscenter covering Summerslam with Coach. Orton and Cesaro face Sheamus and Owens. Not much going on before the break, but after the break, we get THE CHAIN OF UPPERCUTS FROM CESARO! Sheamus eats an RKO and that's it...great MITB push here.

Taker-Brock recap. Seth talks to Steph and HHH and if he beats Cena and holds both titles, he'll get a statue. They tell him not to let him down, and like a good little boy, Seth says he won't. Roman vs. Harper with Dean on commentary. Wyatts vs. Shield is like the Hatfields and McCoys - so it should get a really cool History Channel mini-series in 100 years. Harper has a super-fun match with Roman. Harper's fast moves really seem like things Roman should bust out - especially the Batista bomb. Discus is countered into the Superman punch and spear, so I guess the Wyatts win match 1 of this new series at Summerslam. Bray kneels over him. Jon Stewart is announced as the host of Summerslam - good get!

 Cole then IMMEDIATELY talks about the divas revolution and JBL talks about how they go far beyond the stereotypical "female superstar"...which is funny since they helped add to the stereotypes. Byron talks about how the divas aren't about butt lifts and then Naomi comes out with her team while BECKY'S THEME HITS! Becky makes her tap - Tamina has no right being in the ring. God, she's just awful.
Lana's cleavage is out for Henry in his USA singlet against Rusev. RUSEV CRUSHES - but Henry gets a brief hope spot during the camel clutch. Dolph returns for the post-match with a dreadful tan. His back is pale and his chest is orange. LANA KICKS HOT SUMMER! DOLPH KICKS RUSEV...this somehow impacts Summerslam perhaps. Recap of Sportscenter and the Rusev stuff. Dolph wants one more match at Summerslam - he wants Rusev one on one. Outstanding Brock-Taker hype video. Hearing the roster chime in helped this a lot.
Ryback's out for a Miz talking segment about the triple threat IC Title match. Miz has some horrible bruising around his left elbow. Ryback Shellshocks Miz and based on commentary, I think Show is a face. Authority's out for the Seth-Cena contract signing. Oh goodie - time for Seth's usual 20 minute promo. Cena's orange and green gear debuts here and Cena makes his Raw return from that nasty nose break. Cena says that injuries heal, but what he'll do on Sunday will haunt HHH - and he had the orange shirts designed months ago because he never thought he'd have a WWE Title shot again, to amend the whole issue of it having 15X on it and thus seeming like a spoiler that he won't win. Cena says that HHH had Flair's legacy handed to him, but Seth is just a footnote and the answer to a trivia question "Who did Cena beat to become a 16 time champion?" - so yeah, Seth's winning.


NEW DAY'S out to talk about how it's time to be a bummer, THERE'S THE BIGGEST PARTY OF THE SUMMER! A GIANT NEW DAY ROCKS chant hits that they try to sell on commentary as being "sucks" - they're so much better and likeable as this heel act. Wacky mish-mash match with New Day and the Matadores facing PTPs and the Dragons. THE BULL ATTACKS XAVIER! Kalisto wins with a springboard rana onto a Matador. Silly comic book hype for Stardust and Barrett and Amell and Neville. Wacky heel promo afterwards. Nikki vs. Sasha is up. I think Nikki is a face here for some reason - boy WHAT A REVOLUTION! Solid match here, but Nikki still seems like a model first and a wrestler second. Big JBL chant is going - so the crowd is just entertaining themselves. Thanks to a distraction by Naomi, the backstabber and Banks Statement get the win. This should really feel like a bigger deal than it does.

Taker-Brock hype video leads to an NXT Takeover video with a nice split screen video for the main event. Heyman puts over Brock winning the WWE Title from the biggest box office star in the world, the UFC World Heavyweight title from its greatest heavyweight, and his NCAA win from the University of Minnesota! STREAMERS FALL FOR BROCK! Boy did they make a good move turning him face. Brock will be on Sportscenter tomorrow morning - which I'll likely be missing.
Heyman BOWS FOR BROCK AND THEN SINGS FOR HIM! THE UNDERTAKER PUTS A STOP TO THE SINGING with his mighty dong. Then Brock laughed and boy has his face aged, but it's aging perfectly because each line adds a bit more badass appeal. Heyman mocks the Jedi tricks, and says that you could get the Devil and God to team with him and Brock will take them all to SUPLEX CITY! So this has been amazing. On Sunday, Brock will end it all and THEN Taker comes out! Taker hits a "low blow" to the gut clearly. a chokeslam, and a tombstone with a lot of light shown against the hard camera. Taker won this battle - so maybe Brock actually will win, although the story between these two should end at WM and not Summerslam. This was still pretty good stuff and an effective show for hyping the PPV.


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