Monday, August 24, 2015

WWE Raw 8-24-15

After an amazing Summerslam main event, WWE is in the tough spot of reconfiguring the more regular act Brock after losing to the super-part timer Taker. HHH talked in an echo chamber - we see that it's in WWE HQ. Seth is wearing the US Title on his waist and the WWE Title on his shoulder. HHH talks about his statue and Seth being the man now. Tyler Black is THE MAN in WWE. Amazing world we live in. Summerslam rematch for Shield-Wyatts- woohoo - 50/50 booking! Jon screwed John graphic is great. Brock and Heyman come to the ring and Brock's face is all sorts of messed up. Heyman is so perfectly pissed. The timekeeper looks like Gabe from the Office, and HEYMAN BRINGS UP TAKER COLLAPSING. Wow. Heyman told Taker that Brock told him to GFY.. GFY is going to be a new chant - guaranteed. Heyman wants Taker-Brock TONIGHT. Yuppers...

Bo's out. I Bo-lieve that he's doomed. Bo eats 4 Germans! Brock leaves, but Heyman asks for one more and gets it. Heyman wants an F5 as a personal favor and gets it - and Heyman even does Bo-Lieve! New peak of Bo's career. Team PCB will be on MizTV...revolution...NEW DAY IS NEXT! They face the Dragons. NEW DAY CAME OUT AND XAVIER HAS A TROMBONE and they're all singing. This is glorious. MID-MATCH TROMBONE! Xavier is amazing. Kalisto recovers from botching a Code Red. XAVIER PLAYS TAPS DURING THEIR FINISH. Billion star match! DUDLEYS! Bet Bubba wishes he kept himself in better shape this year. The Dudleys run wild and Xavier eats a 3D through the table - so the division just got a big legendary team in it. Good.


WWE/Cena hype video for Cena's Make a Wish stuff this weekend. This was pretty awesome. THE STATUE REVEAL IS BACKSTAGE!? Ugh. And the US Title looks awful. Ah well - still fun. BIG DOG TIME.Things go fast and furious for a bit until a break. After it, the Wyatts and in control. TOPE CON HILO FROM HARPER! Roman just used Becky's finisher as a transitional move. This Boo guy is very over now. Harper gets a superkick and JBL calls it a superkick party. Bucks better trademark that quick. Lights go out and a new Wyatt debuts. It's Braun Stowman - who has only done a few NXT matches - BUT HE'S HUGE! It only took two years, but Bray the evil cult leader convinced A THIRD PERSON to join him.
They recap the Wyatt stuff and it's TIME FOR MIZ TV... Awful dialog here. Charlotte says that her dad led THE GREATEST FACTION IN WWE HISTORY...THE FOUR HORSEMEN...who were never in WWE. Becky talks about cyborg android dinosaurs. Then they just talk and talk and talk about shit before Team Bella comes out to save this. Then PCB was annoying by being bitches. After burying whoever beats who, we get Nikki burying the concept of wins and losses. Thank you Miz for shutting them up. After this horrible thing, we're getting a six-woman tag. Okay then.

Not much beyond bland wrestling and bad commentary - also, a Blue Pants chant. Then the fan just starts to chant for themselves. After a lot of nothing, Team Bella wins for some 50/50 booking. Giant wacky 8-man tag later. Barrett and Stardust come out, but STARDUST ATTACKS BARRETT. THE JOBBER POWERS EXPLODE! A big Cody chant comes of course, we just get Neville, who beats up Stardust. Stewart's out next. Dudley return recap - they'll be on SD.


Jon Stewart is out, and he turned on Cena to retain Flair's record. Then Flair comes out and says now before Cena comes down. John Cena is dressed like a giant bottle of orange juice - it's kinda hard to take him seriously. So Cena's okay with losing the US Title and not winning the WWE Title...unreal. NOW The Authority is back to being just about best for business? Weren't they just about the fans last week? Stewart ate an AA and his pants fell down, so we got some plumber's crack.


Dolph in long gear!? Wacky 8-man tag is up. They did some moves until a break, then Show talked tons of shit while doing moves. Irish curse to Dolph for another break. UPPERCUT TRAIN TO OWENS and Rusev eats the swing! Great exchange between Ryback and Owens with some forearms - they should do an IC program. Show accidentally punches Sheamus and it sends him into an RKO so Orton could get his win back. The heels bully Big Show, attack him and then THE FACES ATTACK HIM with a superkick and Ryback/Cesaro press into an RKO. Sloppy one though. They show the Taker-Brock finish, but pixellate the finger.

Bray cuts a promo with his family. Braun keeps his name. Steph and HHH meet with Cena. STEPH TALKING ABOUT STEALING SOMEONE'S SPOTLIGHT. Oh the comedy. The statue is taken to the ring and at nearly 11, the Authority comes down. Steph says that it's a big night - AND SHE'LL GET IN TROUBLE, but Steph of course takes the attention away from THE CHAMPION AND THE TOP ANGLE IN THE COMPANY to wish her father a happy birthday. Everyone sings happy birthday to Vince horribly AND HHH rambles about the trouble they'll get into. Seth came down to ramble a bit. The veil goes up and IT'S STING! Sting has de-aged a decade facially since WM - awesome! He's moving around great and dominates Seth. Sting holds the WWE Title high - I wouldn't mind him getting the U.S. Title.

Screens -

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