Raw 8-3-15

 

Before Raw, we get Cole hyping up Brock, a 6-man tag main event and shots of a Piper sign. It's scary how WWE has the Death Show formula down pat. The roster was on-stage while they tolled the bell ten times and played one of the best tribute videos yet. Damned onion ninjas - that was a fantastic video. Seth's here to bore audiences and change channels. He has a new Cena-style Never Shuts Up shirt. Cole going after Seth for "In Seth's world, this is all worth seeing again" outrage would make more sense if they hadn't just aired numerous angles of it including slow-mo. LOL at this getting a "Thank you Rollins" chant. Seth makes Summerslam's title match a title for title match. Seth makes the first-ever Seth Rollins World Title Challenge...now.

 

 

 

 

Cole then kills this by announcing that "Seth will be joined by our broadcast partner Jojo" and her saying "Seth. Rollins. Isthis. Openchallenge. Legintimate." and they make El Torito jokes due to the height and weight limits. Dammit - I saw lights going out and assumed it would be Balor. Nice of them to put Neville right above Torito on the pecking order, while pointing out that he's short and small. Neville did flipz and kickz. We come back from this excitement to a chinlock. Love the snap German from Neville leading to a kneeling dropkick. These two have marvelous chemistry, but this isn't clicking much for me. Neville gets an AWESOME nearfall off a Pedigree counter for 2.9 before Seth gets his foot on the rope for a 2.9 Red Arrow. A second Red Arrow, done at the urging of the fans, misses and a slick Pedigree hits. Perfect final few minutes there. Wow - now give Neville the IC Title somehow and keep some momentum going for him. 8-man tag is up next.

 

8 man tag has Xavier at ringside and the PTPs being fantastic on commentary. Well, Titus being fantastic. Double suicide dive to the Ascension from the Matadores. Kofi hits the tornado kick onto Kalisto up top and wins. Total Divas music gives up Paige's Team, who are now all like-minded, but apparently individuals too. Ugh. Team Paige is now... THE SUBMISSION SORORITY!? So are they running a porn site? Becky gets the Kid legdrop series before a blind tag brings Charlotte in for a kneedrop. Nice high kick by Nikki on the apron. LOL @ Brie's distraction being a hurri-pose since she pulled the forearm so badly. We get some awful commentary with Cole talking about Becky being from "Double in Ireland" and JBL calling her the "Lass Beater". Hardees ad has some nice titties. Good ad placement for the divas revolution match. After a few more minutes of stuff, Charlotte beats Nikki with the figure 8 - nothing special, sadly. Naomi cuts a promo with Jojo in a very echoey room challenging Paige and saying that they, not Rousey are the baddest women. God this sucked. Owens and Cesaro do something with Miz TV later. Goofy Roman Be a Star ad.

 

 

 

A SAMOA JOE VS. RHYNO HYPE VIDEO ON RAW in 2015...wow is that surreal. Miz comes out and says his show is the second most must-see in WWE history, because without Piper's Pit, none of the talk shows would exist. Now this Miz rules. Owens and Miz chat for a bit before Cesaro comes out in a slick suit. Great bit where Cesaro and Owens argue and both tell Miz to shut up. I like Miz wearing the jeans like a kilt here. Rusev and Hot Obedient Summer are next! But first, we get CLIPS OF ROUSEY PAYING TRIBUTE TO PIPER! Nice to see UFC footage on the show.

 

Rusev squash. I greatly prefer the running superkick as his finisher to the Accolade - although he did manage to get that over as a legit finish again. THIRD SUPERKICK TO HENRY! PPV burial time. "WWE's premium content used to be worth $55, but now it's only worth $10." Swerved ad. Bray talks about flowers. If I pay $55, can I avoid Bray's promos? Sheamus in the Bray lair ruled. He was just the right amount of sinister and goofy. Ryder vs. Barrett...oh a tough one here. I'll go with Barrett either winning via Bull Hammer or losing via distraction schoolboy. OH GOD NO THE RED SIDE OF HIS ELBOW PAD IS EXPOSED! Bullhammer wins! Brock is next!

 

New Day face the PTPs and Henry on SD. Heyman is out! He cuts a great promo calling Taker WWE's Alpha Dog who fell like a bitch to Brock and played clips backing it up. I love Brock coming out just walking around and stalking his prey - THE STAIRS, which go into the ring so he can stand atop them. Heyman says that Taker begged for a rematch with Brock at WM 31, and Taker begged for nothing - but Vince turned him down. Heyman puts this over as THE rematch - then, now, and forever. Heyman GUARANTEES that Taker is going to suplex city and last time, it took a year to recover. Now, he'll need Last Rites AND HEYMAN READS THEM TO HIM! Heyman may be Jewish, but holy Jesus this ruled.

Paige is out to face Naomi. Follow MOUNTAIN DEW ON TWITTER NOW. Why? Who would follow a soft drink company? They had a long, kinda boring match. Paige won with the PTO. They put over Neville before talking about...his issues with Stardust. Boy howdy what a dropoff. Facebook video from Stardust. Stardust can fuck off forever and ever and ever and ever. Hardees ad chick is something else.

 

Piper video was aired again - still fantastic. Dean paying tribute to Piper seems pretty fitting. Amell was re-re-confirmed for Raw next week. Roman Reigns - the fat chick thriller, judging by the one fan hopping up and down. Everyone got separate intros to eat up time. Cole giving a logical reason for Sheams and Bray to be allies - I like it. Would've been nice to have that story told literally right before the intros, but still - it's something. Roman punches Sheamus down - good for him. I loved that running punch though. Roman and Dean run wild on Harper in a fun exchange. They did some moves for a while. I love the corner tag cam. DRIVE BY OUTTANOWHERE! Loving all of this crazy shit. We've got moves into moves into other moves being countered. RKO>spear give the faces the win.

Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/6yvxr8xh05nqz5mhy1v7iri5t26nby3i