Sunday, November 20, 2016

WWE Survivor Series 2016

Steenericho steals the show on the pre-show.
"He can't stick his chin in to this..."
"Because he doesn't have a chin..."
"You're a bully! BE A STAR, PHIL!"
"@CapriMarie?! WHAT ARE YOU, A JUICE BOX!?"
Jeri-KO for non-performers of the year!
Six person CW action. Goddammit. That Bret fan is going to try and get over on Twitter now. ZERO reaction to every single person in this. Great job with this division. TJP hits a spinkick...kinda and gets a partial Three Amigos, which gets an Eddie chant. At least someone's getting a chant here. Some wires get crossed as we he hear Renee say that she can hear them. Kneebar is escaped and everyone bickers for an ad break. Swann wins with the standing 450. Charly meets with Kalisto 9 minutes after her time cue was spoken and he talks about SMACKDOWN BLUE RUNNING THROUGH HIS VEINS! Kendrick thankfully saves us from more Bad Lucha Words and cuts a great sinister promo. Kane vs. Harper is next. Yikes.

This countdown clock in the corner seems like a good timetable for when to start drinking. Harper gets a superkick and a dropkick results in a weird fall forward roll from Kane. Chokeslam and Kane wins. "Better than ever!" JBL says. "I didn't think that my ex-husband was gonna be able to pull that off!" Lita just justified her employment AND that match happening! Booker's bowtie is something else. Booker's favorite Survivor Series moment was a tag match with Austin. I hope Lita's favorite moment was leaving the company and having Cryme Tyme sell her vibrator to a fan. Classy stuff. This Brock-Goldberg hype video is outstanding!

LOL @ the game being used within the hype video for the show. Women's match starts things off. EVERY ANNOUNCE TEAM IS HERE. Joy. Naomi's LED window shades are fantastic. Black and blue work as Alexa's colors. "Nikki, where's it hurt?!" SHE'S HOLDING HER FUCKING NECK YOU MORON! Can't wait for Nattie to be revealed as the attacker in #SDDrama Everyone brawls. Roar spot on Nia. Carmella hits some awful punches and the bronco buster before getting taken out by an axe kick that misses by a mile. Twisted Bliss takes out Foxy.

Naomi's giant dive leads to her being tossed by Nia and counted counted out.  This sandwich knee spot is already dumb with one person, and it's pure comedy with two. NATTIE SCHOOLGIRLS SASHA TO BEAT HER! Charlotte boots Nattie to take her out. Nia suplexes Becky and Alexa. Nia taps to the disarmer and Bliss is beaten. It's Charlotte and Bayley vs. Becky! Bayley and Becky have some awesome sequences on the mat. BAYLEY TO BELLY WINS IT reaction. Great job! Bayley got under with the win. Wow. Charlotte beats her up afterwards for winning.
The Club bullies Ellsworth. "ELLSWORTH, YER A REAL NERD!" Mick saves him and asks him if he'd like to come to Raw. Braun asks James if he knows him. K. Now we're alternating teams with Cole joining and it's time for Miz vs. Sami. So ON THE RAW VS. SD SHOW, Cole decides "yeah, now's the time to be buddy-buddy with SD". BEAUTIFUL snap DDT there by Miz! Corner dropkicks. Miz would be helped by at least starting the dropkick less than two feet from the opponent so it will connect better. Corner exploder hits, but the kick doesn't and Miz locks in the figure four! Miz's face in this is hilarious, and it's almost as funny when the move is reversed. YES kicks hit, but Zayn locks on a rather shitty figure four. Maryse rings the bell, but Miz schoolboys and him wins. Cole, like a moron, wonders what happened. And now Cole, who seconds ago didn't know what happened, explains this kindergarten-level angle like it's the fucking Zapruder film.
Dean and AJ bicker. Dean is with Renee and we're supposed to believe that he dreams about AJ Styles? Hulu and Kay Jewelers ads lead to the midcarder Raw vs. SD tag. Enzo's white overalls rule. Love the wacky sayings on it. They've added a stip where if one member of a tag team is gone, the whole team is gone. Great - that should shorten this up a bit. New Day yammers on for a while. AA's new, generic singlets are sure to help them get over. Mojo now wrestles in Zubaz shorts, too. New Day and Breezango are gone super-fast. Wow. LOL @ the Shining Stars lasting longer than the tag champs.STEINER BROS BULLDOG BY AMERICAN ALPHA! Magic Killer takes JJ out. Sneak attack and the Sunrase on Cesaro, but he survives and locks on the sharpshooter to win! Bret Fan justifies life with Cesaro celebration! Steph and Mick have a wacky evil Anti-SD meeting.

Kalisto vs. Kendrick is up. Kendrick cuts a nice promo via a video package. Blah Cruiser Things in this match. Kendrick fakes an injury and he schoolboys Kalisto into the buckle - I like it. Even better - he pins him between the post and the steps and kicks the steps! SPANISH FLY FROM THE APRON gets a holy shit chant. Super inverted headlock takeover! Captain's hook is on, and then again - but Kalisto gets to the rope. Super inverted Thesz press facebuster hits and then the snap rana hits before the SDS gets 2 due to the rope! Corbin takes out Kendrick before baiting up Kalisto.Well, that was a great way to get out of putting the division over - BURY IT WITH BARON!
Bryan asks Baron why he cost SD the division and he calls them pests and then my Network just gets an error message. Roadblock is hyped up with a weird little video. Team Raw vs. Team SD is up. AJ's rocking some new slick blue and white gear. Yeah Seth, wear the half Raw/half SETH FREAKING ROLLINS shirt. Don't want to seem like a dork or anything. Seth vs. AJ is teased, but AJ tags in Dean. SHOOTER SHANE RUNS WILD ON JERICHO! Shane outwrestles the First Undisputed Champion in WWE History with a series of day one armdrags. Jericho stiffs the shit out of him with a missile dropkick and Roman and Seth double-team Shane. KO throws himself off the top into a pile of men on the floor before Braun attacks Shane and tosses him off the top with the safest bump off the top ever. He took it foot-first and then fell back.

Braun powerslams Dean to take him out. SHOOTER SHANE GOES AFTER BRAUN! P1 Forearm is counted by a Biel over the top by Braun. Well, that's terrifying. Braun hits a running kinda dropkick to Bray sending him outside. RKO ON THE TABLE TO BRAUN ON THE FLOOR! Bray and Orton attack Braun and put him on the table. Shane goes up top and puts Braun through it. So...shouldn't the elbow through the table be a DQ on Shane? Table spot was a minute ago. NOW THE REF COUNTS AND IS AT 2. Braun is counted out thanks to Ellsworth holding his foot. Braun tosses him off the stage and through a table. Great bump by Ellsworth. Shame that kind of spot has been done to death over the last 20 years.

Shane and Jericho go at it some more. KO uses the List on AJ and is DQed. So using a list is a DQ, but not an announce table? RKO takes him out. Roman beats up AJ before Shane comes in and hits a floatover DDT. Roman spears him in mid-air, but SHANE GETS THE SHOULDER UP. Of-fucking-course he does...or not. That's it. Shane probably got a concussion from that given that he forgot the finish. Seth and AJ go at it while Roman gets a "Roman's sleeping" chant. Dean jumps AJ - so he's a dick. Shield reunites to Shield powerbomb AJ through the announce table. "What a moment" might have meant something without everyone else just yelling constantly. AJ is taken out. Harper runs down and an RKO takes out Seth. It's now Roman vs. Randy and Bray. "I gotta give it to Roman Reigns..." STOP DOING THAT, IT'S KILLING HIM! Orton eats the Spear for Bray and Bray hits Abigail to win. JBL says "RAW WINS!" before saying "RAW WINS IS WHAT EVERYONE WANTED TO SAY!".

Brock's out and GODDAMN IS GOLDBERG'S ENTRANCE GREAT! Brock bullies Goldberg into the corner, BUT GOLDBERG SHOVES HIM! SPEAR! A SECOND ONE! THE JACKHAMMER ENDS IT! WOW! Outstanding. They did everything right for Goldberg now. Odd to do it when he's 50 instead of when he was close to his prime , but whatever - at least they put Goldberg in a money-drawing position.

Screenshots -

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