Saturday, January 28, 2017

NXT Takeover San Antonio

The pre-show is a bunch of 2016 awards and a bit of a plug for This Tuesday in Texas. The opening video is Roode-heavy. Tye and his motherfucking 20 foot tall collar make it impossible to take him seriously. Great opening bit for an opening level guy though. It definitely gets folks hyped. DEAD FUCKING SILENCE FOR EY. Goddamn, did he drop down to 205? EY's man skirt is weird. EY gets 2 off the flying elbow and another 2 off a Rude Awakening. Percy is absolutely dreadful on commentary. Run-up belly to belly by Tye, but he gets distracted by the goons, but gets the Tye Breaker...which Wolfe nixes. EY rolls through a crossbody and gets 2 after holding tights. Pumphandle neckbreaker wins for EY. Well, this didn't help anyone - and EY's anus-like design on his gear is horrible.

Almas's entrance is awesome. Could do without WWE going for another Mexican restaurant theme for a Hispanic though - but this one is better than Kalisto's song. Strong's NJPW-esque theme song is pretty good. Over the rope armbar is locked on by Almas. Snap lariat by Strong leads to a corner high knee and a dropkick. Pop-off backbreaker from the buckle by Roddy. Snap straightjacket German by Almas gets 2. Almas's wacky armbar and grounded forearms are great - love him as a heel. Sick wins. Good-ish, but nothing amazing.

'95 Rumble highlights. AOP's tag title match is up. Goddamn is this lineup lean for a Takeover. Ellering really has aged perfectly. When he needed to, he looked like a badass in the '80s and now he looks like a sinister grandfather. AOP have masks on and that's a solid improvement for their look. AOP now have name tags all over their gear and I still don't care enough about them to actually remember their names. Johnny plays a fine babyface in peril, while Ciampa is perfect as the badass to make the save. GERMANS TO AOP BY CIAMPA! Ciampa is over as a motherfucker and chops away at Akem, who recovers with a lariat.

DOUBLE SLINGSHOT SPEAR gets 2 for the champs. Powebromb/neckbreaker from AOP gets 2.5. Superkick and Akem is locked into the armbar. Crossface to Razar! RAZAR PICKS UP JOHNNY AND SLAMS HIM ON CIAMP! AWESOME! Kneeling back and forth shots by each team. Superkick/knee is countered by hte powerbomb sandwich. High/low hits and AOP wins! Wow...really? That...sure was a thing to do...

Just what we needed - a Seth Rollins promo. I like it being logic-based though - HHH would be here, we get NXT HHH and WWE HHH in the same canon. Odd. Babyface Paul just turned into Heel HHH on NXT! Seth and his skinny jeans beat up goons. Well, that was cool I guess. Women's title match is up with Nikki Cross out first, then the Aussies, then Asuka.

Everyone talks about HHH because of course. The pseudo-lesbian bit between Royce and Kay is musing - it's right out of Batman with Harley and Ivy. Lots of soft style by the Aussies. German setup by the Aussies, but Asuka counters into DOUBLE GERMANS! They fihght with Nikki to the table, and prevent a dive from her and suplex her from the announce table through a table next to it. Asuka buzzsaw kicks Royce to win. Rumble highlights and WM SIGN POINTING MONTAGE! The rumble is the start of the road to WrestleMania SIGN POINTING!

Tyler Bate waves from ringside while Brock Lesnar Fan does the royal wave to him. Dick. Great Nakamura stuff from this highlight video leads to Roode getting a less Glorious intro than his last Takeover. Roode is cosplaying as Flair in one of his '89 matches with Steamboat with the sea of women in his entourage. And of course he's in a purple and silver robe to boot. Nak gives him a run for his money, and a seizure with a lot of wacky lighting and an epic shot of him with the belt.
Nakamura is getting paid good money to wiggle his leg around to start a World title match. God bless him. Roode outwrestles him with a headlock and then various armbars for a while. Nak goes up top and gets flipped off to the floor. Ouch! Nak should not be taking bumps like that in WWE - let alone NXT. Roode does GLORIOUS VIBRATIONS in the corner. Maybe they could've gone with a name that wasn't so pornoriffic. Good Vibrations in the corner by Nak. Corner knee misses, but Roode avoids the inverted exploder. Roode's down, but won't get up for the Kinshasa! FAKEOUT GETS 2 FOR ROODE! Spinebuster gets 2 for Roode.

Nak turns a superplex against Roode and hits the flying kick. Roode boots him to avoid the knee, but cradles him with the ropes for 2 before the ref catches him. Armbar into a triangle by Nak! KINSHASA OFF THE TOP TO THE APRON! KINSHASA HITS, but he blows his knee out! GLORIOUS DDT HITS AND GETS 2.5! HOLY SHIN needs to get over a chant for Nakamura. Half crab to the knee of Nakamura! Nakamura gets the triangle and Matt Bloom is shown on-air as acting GM. Glorious DDT HITS AND WINS! "You support your CHAMPION. YOU SUPPORT THE POSITION!!" Yeah, he isn't reciting Vince's love of Trump here at all.

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