A wacky old tyme '50s video hypes up fall beginning with the title matches being run down before THE BIGGEST MATCH IN HISTORY - a War Games with Shockmaster. Jesse's jacket is absolutely crazy - but looks great today. Eric hypes up title matches and then throws to Michael Buffer introducing the TV Title match. Regal gets pyro, which is quite surprising. Regal's robe rules.
We get crowd shots showing tons of empty seats - so Tony says that they're still filing in and will be turning away 2,000 people. Buffer earns his keep by hyping up THE WCW. Buffer really does make title matches feel more important though. Tony talks about Ricky being taped up because Regal beat him up on Saturday Night. Steamboat gets some shots, but Regal hits the ribs. Steamboat tosses him over the top on the runway - which is legal according to Tony. I love Jesse blaming Ricky for this becoming a brawl. Regal gets a Backlund lift off a shortarm scissor, which Tony has never seen apparently.
They engage in a lot of holds. A few moves. Nice kneedrop to the ribs of Steamboat. Regal takes the tape off and hits a butterfly suplex for 2. Steamboat misses the bodypress and skins the cat - but eats an umbrella shot from Sir William. A German suplex ends it. Good finish. Eric interviews the Nasty Boys. Yikes.
The Nasty Boys hype up their big secret. Big Sky comes out to face Charlie Norris. Oh fuck no. Crowd chants "we want Flair" during their Saturday Night mid-carder match. "BORING!" He hits chops and wins with a big boot. The fans cheer because they're glad it's over and then get back to booing him. A special needs kid interviews Bulldog about his partners and their opponents. Well, that was nice for the kid - he was a better promo than Bulldog.
Paul Orndroff and The Equalizer are out for this...yes, PPV show that folks paid money to see. Bagwell and Scorpio are out and the action is so exciting that Jesse and Tony talk about lunch. It's amazing how much better shape Orndorff is in than Equalizer. LONG BEARHUG by Orndorff. Scorp runs wild and actually has to move around a cameraman in his way. A do-see-do spot leads to an Orndroff lariat to Scorp. Orndorff's intensity with everything he does is fantastic - I hadn't really noticed that and Scorp beats Equalizer. The heels beat up Scorpio and Orndorff hits a shoot-style German on Bagwell.
Bischoff meets with Regal and Sir William. They boast about going to England and Regal says if you can't trust him, who can you trust. Okay, that sure filled time. OH GOD IN HEAVEN, Tex and Shangai Pierce are out. Or "Shangi" as the graphic reads. Pierce is out to face Ice Train. "One of the biggest EVERYWHERE!" Especially in the roid belly. Train clubs. Gets a suplex. Clubs. Gets a backdrop. He avoids a double team and wins with a sloppy powerslam almost dropping Pierce on his neck. Ice Train AND CHARLIE NORRIS are undefeated - WCW really knew who to give winning streaks to.
They plug Halloween Havoc and Jesse creeps Tony out. Jesse and Tony talk about how the World Tag Title changed hands with Regal as a substitute, leading to Jesse making a nice point about Regal NOT being Brian and thus not being on par with him. Missy comes out with the Nasty Boys and Jesse says I KNOW THAT CHEST. A fan holds up the best sign ever - Where Did You Buy Those, and Jesse asks "IS HE TALKING ABOUT HER SHOES!?" Jesse says she should have a double impact on this match.
This will easily be the peak of the actual match. Buffer is fucking horrible and hypes up THE HEAVYWEIGHT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD. I do love the close-ups of the belts though - I used to make paper versions of them using thicker paper stock from a shiny folder I had to replicate the sheen of metal. Tony is so great telling Jesse to stop gawking at Missy. Jesse asks if Missy is a natural blonde while Knobbs says 'shut your face you fucking idiot!" Well, that was certainly different for the family-friendly WCW product.
Tony calls Missy a social climber and Jesse says he's just mad that she won't "social climb" him once. Ha! Missy's tight outfit is something else. Fans chant "take it off!" at Missy. Tony ponders just what Missy can do for the Nasty Boys in terms of holds. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT GAVE THEM THEIR SUCCESS - holds! Sags grabs Jesse's chair and hits Arn in the back with the chair behind the ref's back. That gets 2. More "take it off" chants at Missy.
Sags locks on an abdominal stretch and uses Knobbs to get some leverage. Bearhug to Arn by Knobbs. Then Sags. Arn is a shockingly great babyface in peril. Love the drop-down elbow to the neck when Knobbs ducks, and then he eats a running forearm shot by Sags. Arn lunges and tags Roma in so he can clean house. Nastys go for the Steiner bulldog as they predicted, but Arn shoves Sags off and they get a shitty victory roll for 2. Spinebuster and he swan dive hit, but the ref is with Arn and Sags hits an elbow off the top and Knobbs wins.
Missy cuts an awful promo about getting revenge on the Horsemen and Flair. Cactus Jack-Vader recap. We see Vader lose by countout and then Jack eating a powerbomb on the floor. LOST IN CLEVELAND RECAP! Mick looked great with the shaved beard, although the actress playing Colette is fucking horrible. "JACK, THIS IS YER SON!" Mick is shown returning at the Clash in a blue flannel attacking Vader. Race's bounty is recapped and we see Mick in front of a Smashing Pumpkins poster. He cuts an amazing promo about how this was all a sham and how fans saw through everything - and how he knew they couldn't be his family or kids, but he just wanted to play a mind game on Race and Vader. He recaps the body parts that Vader has collected - BUT HE CAN'T HAVE THE HEAD OF CACTUS JACK! THE HATRED WILL GROW LIKE TEA IN A SEA OF HATRED!
The fan with the Missy sign shows a Mean Gene in WCW sign before he debuts - Jesse outright says that Gene is on his way. Wow is this Yoshi Kwan gimmick horribly racist. Mick comes out with a giant knee brace. They fight it out in both rings before brawling on the runway. I like the ref continuing the count when they're in a ring - but now the correct ring. Kwan hits some Miz-esque soft style kicks. Jack hits the double arm DDT and suplexes Harley to get his bag back. Jack challenges Vader for Halloween Havoc.
We get a recap of the Flair-Rude issues. Rude's getup is hilarious. Rude jumps him with the belt and hits the Rude Awakening. "The World Title" is on the line. Rude's blue and silver robe looks good, and WCW's giant gold curtain has held up nicely as a PPV set. Ric is in purple with Fifi in a gorgeous green dress. Rude aged rapidly and got a lot of facial lines - but it did wind up fitting his badass vibe. Rude cuts a promo on Ric about beating Flair and then showing off Fifi on his gear - well, that's one way to get her on your crotch.
Rude lands a series of slick forearm smashes, but a flying kneedrop misses. Figure 4 is on early, but Rude gets to the ropes. Jesse is horribly sexist and says women should be barefoot and pregnant - so Sara Lee cuts his mic! Jesse says that tears it - he's switching to Betty Crocker! Ric locks on an armbar and is asked if he'll quit - Rude says "SHIT!" and Jesse says it's a good thing they're on PPV. Tony tells Jesse to sue Sara and call Barry Bloom - Jesse says damn right he will! Jesse commends Flair's strategy to attack the arm since it's his strongest point, so he has to rely on weaker elements of his game. Rude recovers and locks on a seated chinlock. A LONG SEATED CHINLOCK.
Long bearhug follow that up. Rude grounds him and Flair counters it and is on top before pounding away - a bit of early ground and pound there! Rude eats a punch to the gut off a double axehandle and eats a back suplex. A butterfly suplex leads to corner chops. Rude is thrown to the corner, but gets a knee up and jacks Ric's jaw. Ric bites the fingers to avoid a Rude Awakening and then his a sloppy one of his own for 2 because Rude gets the ropes. Sleeper from Rude into a pair of knee breakers. Flair goes for a leg avalanche OFF THE SECOND ROPE. Ric asks the ref the time - so the ref check and Flair knees Rude in the balls. NOW THAT IS AMAZING. God that is so perfect. Rude gets a cradle to counter the figure four for 2. Flair stun guns on him on the railing.
Flair runs up the rope and gets a double sledge, but eats a punch. Rude gets a flying knee. They go outside and Fifi slaps Rude. Rude kisses her and brings her in. Ric punches Rude and backdrops him. Flapjack hits and the figure four is on! Rude grabs knucks and KOs him to win! Every title has changed hands! Jesse is outstanding covering all this. Not really much to the match, but it was a fun one to watch.
Tony hypes up the history of War Games, since 1987. Jesse says that everyone in a War Games match gets hurt. The rules are run down and shockingly, quite simple to understand. There's a lot to it, but it's all easy stuff. Lots of pyro here and we get a crowd shot - THEY DID NOT IN FACT TURN AWAY 2,000 PEOPLE. Heels are out first, followed by the faces. Sting's got a slick black, red, and gold jacket on that looks great.
Animal is out as a captain. Dustin wants in first, but we get THE SHOCKMASTER?! Nope - Dustin runs in against Vader. Oh this'll be fun! Vader clubs away while Dustin is straight up in Hogan colors - red kneepads with yellow tights and boots. Dustin takes his boot off to beat the shit out of Vader. Goddamn - A SMART BABYFACE. God, it's so fun to watch these guys fight it out. Vader attacks in the corner. PUMP SPLASH leads to more grounded shots to the ribs. Dustin DDTs him down. Jesse says that Dustin better pray to win the coin flip and Dustin hits him with the boot again.
Coin flip GOES TO THE HEELS! Vader's flying nothing leads to him being powerslammed. Stevie Ray comes in and can't even hit Dustin with a boot properly. He goes to toss him into the cage AND CAN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT, falling down and just kind of vaguely throwing him under the rope. Dustin is busted open because he's a babyface in Texas and a Rhodes. Sting comes in and fires away at both of them. Stevie eats a cage and Vader eats a Stinger Splash.
Vader eats the cage twice. Sid comes in and it's 3 on 1 against Sting. The heels horribly press slam Sting into the ceiling - which Dr. Death did far better with Terry Gordy on his own in '89. Bulldog's in and eats a few shots from Sid. Mid-air powerslam once again - now with Bulldog doing it. The faces do the double-press to Sid into the ceiling which looks slightly better than before. Booker comes in and everyone just does stuff. Nothing of note. Shockmaster comes in for THE MATCH BEYOND. He just tosses guys into the cage. Shockmaster has Booker in a bearhug, which COULD END WAR GAMES. Well, it's done poorly as a move for the whole show - so of course it ends the main event. What in the fuck. Why wouldn't you give Sting the win? Shockmaster comes in and does shit for like three minutes and that's it!?
Sid yells and DEMANDS SATISFACTION! Well, this helped no one except for Dustin - who really shined brightly throughout it. He was given the most time to shine and made the most of it. Sid said he's SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CRAP. Well, he's not wrong. Jesse mocks Shockmaster for being a total klutz. Yeah. Thank God he was not only in the main event, but won it. Holy fuck. Halloween Havoc is hyped up with Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal for Jack-Vader.
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