Sunday, June 4, 2017

WWE Extreme Rules 2017

Pre-show is the usual recaps and bullshit. Hardys are in the SOCIAL MEDIA LOUNGE and Matt says the timing is right. Matt says that tonight, they will prove why they are the best tag team in time and space. Kalisto faces Apollo and gets a bit of an edge with a dragonrana senton to the floor. A standing SSP leads to Crew chatting, and then a Titus distraction leads to an SDS win. Riveting. Dean vs. Miz gets things off - so they're starting with one of two matches that feel important. Dean and Miz don't do much, but the crowd is hot.

Dean grabs a chair while Cole says LOOKIT!LOOKIT!LOOKIT!LOOKIT! Booker's ONE MONTH IC TITLE REIGN CRASHED THE GLASS CEILING AND PUT THE FIVE TIME WORLD CHAMPION ON THE MAP. And to think, nothing this company says has any meaning whatsoever.They trade figure fours after a dozen lifetimes and Miz tells Maryse to slap him - but the ref is actually smart and kicks her out. Miz tosses Dean into the ref, distracting him for a Finale win.

Robo Woman says. A lot. Of things. And Bayley. Buries Alexa's segment. Noam Dar and Fox are out to face Rich Swann and Sasha. Faces win. No one cares. Bliss vs. Bayley is up and the video package takes nine years. Bayley starts off being a moron by actually trusting the heel to just let her go grab the kendo stick. Bayley gets the stick, but Alexa steals it and hits her and then lands the DDT to end it. Wow.

 Tag title match time. The faces bonk the heels against the cage to DELETE chants.  Jeff takes a bump from far too high off the side of the cage given how banged up he is - making it 2 on 1. Jeff climbs again to save Matt, but gets sent down. Matt hits a twist. A super white noise leads to Jeff hitting a whisper in the wind off the top of the cage. This leads to Jeff...somehow being legal again, and due to that, Matt can't pull him out of the ring in time and the heels win.

Neville vs. Aries is up with another super-long video package. This is a fine match, I just can't care about any of it. The commentary undermines everything and they aren't doing enough to make this feel like a true blowoff match.They trade Rings of Saturns, but Neville tries to shove Aries into the ref. In a lame move, the Last Chancery is done OUTSIDE, but the ref says it doesn't count. Aries misses the dive, eats the Red Arrow and then taps to the Rings. Gotta be shitting me.

Main event time! Joe and Bray form an uneasy allaince and take out everyone before toying with Finn. Bray and Joe hit back to back sentons to Finn with a chair on Finn, but Roman makes a save. Well, sorta - he powerbombs Finn, but eventually goes after the heels. Roman eats a nasty uranage on the announce table, which doesn't budge.

Balor recovers and gets revenge on the chair usage by Bray and Joe by chairshotting them and then landing double stomps with the chair before landing a shotgun dropkick on the barricade. Choke is on Finn, but Roman spears them through the time keeper's area! Seth hits a HIGH FLY FLOW THROUGH THE TABLE ON BRAY! Roman and Seth slug it out and Seth hits a superkick and a high fly flow for 2. BUCKLE BOMB, BUT ROMAN RECOVERS AND SUPERMAN PUNCHES HIM. Shotgun kick to Roman and the slingblade hits, and the double stomp hits - BUT JOE CHOKES HIM OUT! YES - Joe faces Brock!

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