Monday, March 11, 2013

WWE Raw 3-11-13

They cut live to Roberts announcing the tribute video for Paul Bearer - great vid. He had some of the best facial expressions ever for a manager. The vid got a nice standing ovation from the crowd then Taker came out. This made me think that they should make I'm a Paul Bearer Guy shirts to play off Punk, not bring them up on-air, but just have them and give the family some extra royalty money. Taker came in and stared at the urn one last time before doing the pose to it while his graphic was on the tron. This was incredible AND THEN PUNK CAME OUT to make it even better. This could be argued as being classless, but I didn't mind it - it fueled the Mania angle and they gave Paul five minutes of a tribute on Raw before doing it. Show is facing Rollins in the first one on one Shield match yet next. THE WWE APP showed that Kane kicked Punk's ass for insulting his father. It seemed a bit odd to have Cole say that Bearer was Kane's father given that they showed the graphic with his real name earlier, but it's a minor point.

Show-Rollins went a minute before the Shield attacked and redid the triple powerbomb spot...that they aired before from last week. This was...not bad but didn't do much for me. Punk met with Vickie, who was incredibly offended by what he said about Paul, so he's facing Kane in a no DQ match later. Bryan came out and they showed a fan in an awesome I'M THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS shirt. Cole spouted off a bunch of stuff, and was annoying here - not as much as him saying that the Shield was either a pack of dogs, a shield of justice, or a swarm of hornets. They came back with the first of what will likely be many clips of Paul Bearer's career. Dolph's facing Bryan and got a jobber intro. King said he was hoping AJ was wearing a white T-shirt out here. They did stuff for a few minutes before Langston stood on the apron to prevent a dive and lead to an ad break. They came back and really got rolling after a minor fuck-up after an O'Conner roll. Big E's face of agony when Dolph got crotched ruled. Tremendous hot shot into the fameasser too - it seemed like it could be a finish too since that won last week for Billy. Bryan had the win with the No Lock, but Big E saved him, a schoolboy led to another one which was rolled out of and Zig Zag won. Very good match here.After the win, Big E hit Bryan with his move - good stuff to build up a tag title match on TV at some point. Cole then read the script to see all the terms he was supposed to use to describe HHH-Brock's history. Tremendous video recapped the feud and thankfully left out much of the pre-Summerslam stuff.

Sweet T's going to face Fandango, but his name was said wrong by T, so yeah, that ain't happening. This went on for nine years before Mr. Dongo begged Naomi to join him. Cole informed us that he bought tickets for GI Joe during the break AND HERE'S A PREVIEW FOR THE WWE UNIVERSE. I'm shocked he didn't also check out the WWE app while doing that. Outlaws face the Rhodes Scholar next. WM XX clip aired for Paul Bearer. Sandow and Cody's parody of the NAO intro was glorious. BG dedicated the match to Paul Bearer, so I'm guessing they're winning. This went maybe a minute before Brock came out and demolished the Outlaws. This was set up nicely by Cole saying that HHH reunited with them last week. Heyman delivered a marvelous promo about Brock and HHH and said that HHH had to sign the contract to make the match, then Brock will name the stips, and concluded if you ain't down with that, he's got two words for ya - BROCK LENAR! He is amazing with Brock and in a different way than he was with Punk.

Kofi was in the ring to be killed by Mark Henry. Henry kicked him to the floor from mid-ring...via a kick to the arm that was supposed to be to the face.Kofi got some decent offense before being an idiot and trying to do a crossbody block off the top into the WSS. Cody met with Kaitlyn, but was interrupted by HIS BEST FRIEND, DAMIEN SANDOW! Sandow brought hte Bellas and their brand new boobs back. Vickie made TRC againt Sheamus and Orton, then Ryback came out - he's facing Slater once again. Slater started off with some sweet right punches. Ryback killed him in a minute after those. Henry came out to stare and possibly warn him againt breathing some of his air without paying rent. Ryback killed Drew,leading to Henry showing that he could do it to, and then he re-killed him. Loving this build so far. Alberto's coming out to face Cesaro in a champ vs. champ match they've never brought up once. 

They came back and talked about THE STRING OF WWE FILMS before showing a long trailer for The Call. Cesaro got a jobber intro, but with his swank new shirt. Cole said that Cesaro has competed in Mexico, so he feel he has a leg up here...against a man who has wrestled in Mexico hundreds if not thousands of times.Alberto's inset promo said he was born in Mexico, but made in America - that's nice and vague. Picture-perfect European uppercut off of a cross body was the highlight. Cesaro tapped to the armbar after about five minutes or so. Josh talked to Kane, who held the urn in his hands. Kane couldn't speak, and an idiot screamed SAY SOMETHING!

Another vid on Paul aired showcasing Kane's debut. They aired a sappy Cena-Rock video set to "Letters From the Sky". Really awesome video despite the sappy qualities to it though. Kinda funny to see some un-PG stuff in the TMZ screenshot used for it. Orton came out for the tag match before an ad break.  They came back and Cole said THE WWE APP NEVER GOES AWAY. Orton did his every match offense with exactly the same minor intensity a ever. Sheamus beat Sandow with the kick while the RKO took out Cody. Highlight Reel is announced for the first time tonight - it'll have Miz and Barrett...oh lord. They're just going to debate which guy's failed movie is better.

The WWE APP truly never does end - the Shield attacked Orton and Sheamus during the break. The Tout vids began with a chick loving the Edge skits, while a Brit loved his promo forming the Ministry, and another guy liked his WM XX return and did the OH YESSS bit really well. Jericho came out in his gear and we got another trailer for Marine 3. Jericho called it an awesome movie, then said it blew away studio projections. This offended Barrett, who bragged about DMD being in the top 5 of the box office. Miz did a terrible British accent, while Barrett said he could do SHOOTOUTS TO SHAKESPEARE! and he'd do more movies, BUT HE'S TOO BUSY BEING WADE BARRETT! Jericho did...I think a Woody Woodpecker impression with the really stuff. Jericho brought up him helping Barrett get into WWE, and that while he's a 2-time IC champ, Jericho's a NINE TIME IC CHAMP. Brad Maddox, THE HIGH RANKING EXECUTIVE OF THE SUPERHERO TEAM BRICKIE came out to announce that Barrett will face the winner of Jericho-Miz for the title next week. This was bad, but intended to be bad, but wasn't quite so bad, it's funny. I think Vince sold the Jeritron and the furniture for some cocaine.

They came back for the match and Cole talked about what happened during the break on the app, then said if you had it, you wouldn't have to hear them repeat bad jokes on TV. This was super-truncated as within two minutes, they were avoiding finishers and at three, Jericho hit the walls. Miz was thrown into Barrett, pissing him off and resulting in a DQ and then the faces hit the Finale and Codebreaker respectively to take Wade out. No one really gained a damn thing from this stuff. Speaking of which, they re-aired the Ricardo/Alberto "comedy" from SD.Good lord, there's like 30 minute of this show left. Swagger walked backstage to prepare to kick a for his a death timeslot on the show. New Paul clip involved him wearing a dress for a WM XI skit. Swagger faces ONE OF THOSE MEXICANS Sin Cara. YAY Swagger's theme is on iTunes! Zeb booed Sin Cara for not speaking English. Zeb rambled on FOR-FUCKING-EVER about stuff. This was the worst thing yet involving Zeb, and it got a boring chant as a result. Between this stuff and the Alberto parody, tonight felt like a very special jump the shark edition of Raw for this feud. Miz-Jericho-Barrett for the gold next week. It's a shame the promo killed its heat, because this match was quite good for the few minutes it lasted. Alberto came out to defend Sin Cara after the ankle lock, but he was locked in the armbar and saved by Zeb. Halle Berry was interviewed and got interrupted by Otunga. YAY! And then Kane had a conversation with Halle This was wacky, but funny - and out of place since Kane's in a serious match next.

They announced Ryback-Henry on SD, and the main event got started at 10:58 for the intro, with the match beginning at 11. Cole explained the urn...kinda poorly...for those who'd never seen it before. LOLed at the fan yelling SET HIM ON FIRE! Well why not? It's no DQ. Kane threw him over the top to the floor in a scary moment at 11:05. They're so desperate for Robot Combat League to work that they're airing it on USA next. Loved Punk doing 'Taker's throat slash only to get goozled, then counter with a high kick. He was going to hit the GTS, but the bell tolled, he got scared and chokeslammed. King said it was SWEET LIKE SWEET HOME ALABAMA...which they should've explained was where Moody was from. Kane and Taker closed the show bowing to Paul - I'd be fine if this was the last thing they eer did together. And then Punk bonked Kane with the urn and ran away before Taker could catch him. I dug that, although I think I'm just giving them a pass for this stuff since they're paying nice tributes to him that are clearly heartfelt while doing this stuff.

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