Thursday, March 7, 2013

TNA Impact Wrestling 3-7-13

The pre-show vid hypes up a best 2/3 series between Team TNA and the Aces for Lethal Lockdown. They had a graphic for Paul Bearer that was shockingly low-res. The opening vid hyped up Angle attacking the Aces, and he...for some reason decided to wait until later in the show to reveal who it is. Also, THIS ISN'T JUST AN IMPACT ZONE PROBLEM! Good of him to clarify that since no ever said anything about it being one. Aries is out to start the show as one half of the should-be-named Greatest Tag Team That Ever Lived and talked while some guy held up a giant I THREW OUT A CHALLENGE ON FACEBOOK sign. Aries was upset at Bully and Hardy for not being nice to him, so he called out Hardy for a match now. Todd hyped up HARDY-ARIES IV, which seems odd because there's not much point in doing the numbering bit if you're doing it so quickly. I have zero problem with the show starting with this though - and neither does Tenay, who puts this over as the main event of last year's biggest show. Aries chucked Hardy over on a headscissors attempt and Hardy had a sick landing on the floor.

They came back and hyped up THE BELLATOR APP! Then Tenay hyped up that Aries is only the fifth guy in company history to be a triple crown champs. Aries did Hardy's wacky poses before going for a frog splash. Twisto Stunner>Fate combo hit but before Hardy could cover, Morgan KOed him with his pump kick. Bully made the save before Morgan could crush Hardy's skull with the kick against the post. Sting cut a wacky yelling happy promo to encourage the troops then yelled like he was battling constipation. Angle's coming out to reveal the identity of the VP. Why the Aces haven't jumped him or bribed a camera guy to find out where he is, I have no idea.

Morgan cut a promo continuing his deal about kicking ass until he got a title shot. I thought they dropped that...and they're setting up Morgan for a world title-level deal. Yikes. Angle-Brisco video package aired. They've got a cage match on the PPV that I'd forgotten about. Real good video though - loved the vocal clips of Angle being a lunatic. Wes came out and cut a really stilted promo about his feud with Kurt and how somehow, both Jack and Gerry were "one of the greatest wrestlers ever". LOLed at Kurt saying he made a mistake trusting Wes since he's willing to bring up that mistake, but not ya know, driving drunk a few times. D'Lo tried to separate Wes and Angle but got B'Lown up quickly. Still helped Wes out though. It is mind-boggling to think of D'Lo Brown being a big reveal in 2013. The last time he was a thing nationally was in TNA, so yeah.

D'Lo at least cut a really good, intense promo after the break. I liked him saying that one of Sting's guys could be against him at the PPV. This was the first time they brought up the man advantage series on the show itself. Sting-Devon is up. Great LET'S GO STING chant here. Sting and Devon had an okay little paint by numbers match here. I can't help but think of the WWE '12/'13 comeback bits during Sting's stinger splash setup. Sting got blinded by a "fan's" drink, then posted, big booted,  and pinned by Devon. Gut Check is coming up next.

The most bored interviewer ever asked Velvet what it was like to be champ, then Gail came in and was all pissy. Danny Davis is replacing Taz as a Gut Check judge. Live, Al had a bright red velvet sports coat. Maybe he borrowed it from Jeff Jarrett's WEALTHY AMERICAN BUSINESSMAN collection. They just did this backstage, with no promo or anything from either and Tapa won. Well, she had something, but I'd have gone with Ivelise. Chavo and Hernandez came out with Velvet for a wacky 6-person tag. Digging Chavo's brigh yellow, purple, and gold gear. Bad Influence is teaming with Gail here. Chavo and Hernandez have been working on some moves together - good. The bad is that they take forever to set up and don't appear to do much damage. Gail won with Eat Defeat. Fine match, nothing really memorable about it though. They replayed D'Lo as the big reveal in TNA's lead heel stable. Sting was in the back yelling and screaming while beating up chairs with the bat with blood pouring down his face. This ruled. Sting's face on his shirt was covered in blood. Wow.  They hyped another AJ vid with a ridiculous graphic showing his wacky look last week. YES!

The AJ bit was just him getting pissed at a guy for invading his privacy. Joe and Magnus came out to face Doc and Garett. I liked Taz bringing up issues between Sting's members here, and Tenay brought up MAGNUS ATTACKING JOE WITH A WRENCH BEFORE. Hmmm...Sting's kind of a dipshit for putting them on his team, isn't he? Garett threw some shitty elbows to Magnus leading to a loud YOU CAN'T WRESTLE chant. They showed AJ's tweet hyping up his return to Impact next week. Garett looks so damn skinny in the ring with these guys. VINTAGE JOE/MAGNUS finisher beat Doc. Tapa's coming out for her GC evaluation...what? Okay, so I guess the first thing was Velez's evaluation...but why was Tapa out there for that then?

Kenny King, with the X division X cut into his hair, cut a promo about being champ - he's taking on all comers at the PPV. I think. EY cut a great intense promo about the Aces, saying he's been in a lot of wars, and he's always met battles head on. Sting looked even more battered than before. This was great. Now it's time for the Gut what was the first thing then? Loved Taz burying Snow for looking like an idiot. So it looks like Ivellese really got the short end of the stick here since she was just whisked away in a backstage bit. The crowd gave her a huge NO NO NO chant. She reacted well to the NO NO NO chant. Bruce took this opportunity to say goodbye to Paul Bearer, getting a loud REST IN PEACE chant. Then he voted no, so she had to kick out and convince Al that she's worth hiring - she basically cut the same promo she did before. Al was convinced. BOO. This was bizarre, both due to the multiple references to Bearer coming out of nowhere and them not even letting Ivellise be out here for the Gut Check bit.

Robbie E cut a promo on Robbie T - they've got a PPV match. Terrible job actually showcasing the card tonight. Anderson is now dressed exactly like Garett Bischoff. White t-shirt underneath the vest. So jobber-riffic. Tenay went to BFG Series stats to point out Storm's superiority over Anderson. Anderson won a nothing match with the Mic Check after the Aces came out and were headed off by Sting's team. Main event ended at 10:45, and I'd forgotten about the Bully/Hardy debate. They FINALLY ran down the card for the PPV at 9:51. They tried a kinda-hard sell for Bully-Hardy during the graphics rundown, but I'm really not feeling this match at all. I dig that it could result in Bully being a world champ for the first time, and that's something that should excite me, but they haven't really done much with Hardy as champ since giving him the gold, or done anything to build this match up. Bully said he and Jeff have made history, and they'll do it again, and he wants to tell him how proud he is to see him as champion after conquering his demons. Hardy said he was proud of Bully, and Bully said he's never really been proud of himself, but he will be after he wins the title not by going over a cage or through a door, BUT BY WINNING WITH HIS BIG MOVE! Hogan cut a rambling promo about TNA being a small company and needing a leader. Digging his new shirt - it's quite slimming for him. Then the Aces came out for a brawl. Hardy was in the brightest red sneakers you've ever seen.

Screens -

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