Monday, November 16, 2015

Raw 11-16-15

I've been dealing with a nasty store throat/possible cold since Friday - so my coverage might be even sloppier than usual tonight. Raw starts with a moment of silence for the victims of the Paris attacks. No pomp and circumstance - just a classy tribute...until the regular intro. Very odd to have the druids out right after the Paris tribute. Filthy Tom is there in spirit adding in "And Kane!" to the "Under-Taker" chants. They spent a long time talking about Hell and fire. Bray and the family came out and he yammered on for a while. The lights flickered and the druids had sheep masks on. BoD beat them up. Well, that filled the stupid quota for the evening. Owens vs. Neville is up and we get some basic stuff until Owens rolls to the floor and eats a moonsault off the top.

Great bit where Owens backdrops him onto the apron and he hits a superkick party begging the ref to get to counting. Crazy bit where he crotches Neville and goes for the powerbomb, but Neville hops out and hits a superkick before a big REVERSE RANA for 2! SSP misses and Owens wins with the powerbomb...kinda anti-climactic, but a good win for Owens. We see a Seth surgery recap. He's built up as a total babyface here with him being super-positive about recovering and being better than ever. Tyler Breeze comes out to silence. Truth comes out to several white people dancing to "What's Up!" RVD pinning takedown into a half crab by Breeze. Truth sells the knee after the axe kick, but Breeze flips out of a second hat rack crack and hits the spinkick for the win.

Dolph vs. Dean is up. Lots of fast stuff. X factor off the top...ish thing.  DIRTYDEEDSOUTTANOWHERE for the win. "Divas revolution hits Raw" THIS WAS 4 MONTHS AGO!? Nothing has really evolved with this. They all have zero actual character. New Day is out and a very chunky white kid is overjoyed. They mock Usos with Uce-OW!
I went to make soup to soothe my throat and missed this. Doubt I missed too much. Recap of Charlotte winning the title at NoC and CHARLOTTE RESPONDED TO A TWEET earlier. HHH chats with Cesaro about finally reaching the brass ring and ROMAN'S OUT!? Things Roman Reigns is bad at - delivering exposition. Power displays by each lead to JBL comparing them to Danny Hodge OR DAVEY BOY!? One of these things is not like the other. FLYING UPPERCUT to mid-ring leads to a barricade uppercut on the floor!

Cesaro goes for a second, but eats a big dog boot! Swing! SHARPSHOOTER! CROSSFACE! He turns it into a Samoan drop for 2! Cesaro is sent over the top and hits his "bad elbow" on the apron. Drive by! Schoolboy powerbomb gets 2! FIST IS COCKED, BUT HE EATS A VERY EUROPEAN UPPERCUT FOR 2! Cesaro can't get the powerplex and eats the Superman punch up top. Uppercut counter to the spear! Backslide gets 2! SUPERMAN PUNCH DAZES HIM, SPEAR PINS HIM! Literally couldn't have been a better match for either guy.

Nick Bockwinkel gets a tribute graphic and a quick chat about him from the announcers. "Go to the website for something you might enjoy, for now, HERE'S THE ASCENSION!" Dudleys win with 3D. Alberto and Zeb say words before HHH interrupts and tells Alberto that he COULD BE THE MAN.

Recap of Kalisto beating Ryback with an SDS off the top. Rana off the apron highlights the pre-break portion. POST-BREAK CHINLOCK! Alberto kicks away, avoids a super rana, and gets the double stomp. Paige-Charlotte contract signing is the main event. Expect new lows in viewership. Recap of Becky cheating to win and that being totally okay because Paige did it first. Charlotte ponders What. made. you. like. this. Charlotte is finding new ways to add syllables to words and it's charming. Horrible. But charming. Charlotte says that she and Paige didn't grow up like everyone else, and tears up talking about her dad and especially Reid. Paige comforted her during that time and...why on Earth is this promo fodder? Why? It's not part of her story on WWE TV until this very moment.

Charlotte talks about Team Extreme and the Horsemen and implies that Team PCB was going to be like that. Nah - Team Extreme was over. If they're going to make "Charlotte is living Reid's dream for him in his absence", which is true, part of the story then DO IT FROM DAY ONE. Not right now. Oh yeah, this is a contract signing. I forgot about until Cole tried to bring this back on track. Paige calls Ric an old fart which pisses Charlotte off. ...and now they're using Reid's overdose in an angle. What in the fuck. Of all angles to even bring Reid up in, let alone outright exploit his death, why this one? Unless Charlotte vs. Paige is main eventing the PPV (and even then - no), there's no benefit at all.

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