Tuesday, June 7, 2016

TNA Impact Wrestling 6-7-16

Show starts with a recap of last week's epic viral video/PPV build. Matt comes to the ring and we get yet another recap of last week. Crazy Matt's hair rules. Drew comes out and they talk a bit about how Matt has "evolved" since being World champ and Matt credits Jeff with Drew being champ. Matt wants a title match and Drew says if he wants to be remembered as ONE OF THE BEST WORLD CHAMPIONS OF ALL-TIME, he has to face all comers.
 Jade and Rayne come out. Allie and Sienna come out later, with Jade on the floor. Sienna dominates with a variety of suplexes and throws. AK-47 cutter hits, so Sienna gets a title shot at the PPV. Jade sends her packing. Bennett and Maria's cleavage chat for a bit. Eli comes out for his show. Eli has the belt in his case and brings out Decay for some reason. Rosemary heels on the crowd while Abyss like how handsome Eli is. BroMans come out and we get some awful mic work from Racquel saying ONE SENTENCE about them having friends - Grado and Shera. Joy. Bram jumps Eli and we get a giant eight billion person match with the Tribunal and the other heels against all these faces. Everyone does moves for a bit, but Eli wins with the knee and lariat combo.

Lashley cuts a promo on Matt. Miracle and Maria come out. Recap of the Slammiversary weigh-ins, which is a thing for some reason. EC3 flips him off. A mild brawl breaks out. I get that this is a rib on Jones and Cormier - minus all the money that drew. Maria leaves so Allie can wrestle instead. EC3 and Gail face Bennett and Allie, with Maria on the floor. Gail runs wild on Allie, but Maria cheats to help her out. Bennett and EC3 come in and EC3 dominates him. EC3 is scratched at by Allie, leading to some amazing wacky faces. Pope gets a great call for once - "this is just not effective at all!" Bennett grabs a chair, so EC3 chases him out while Allie goes for it. Gail goes for Eat Defeat but Allie kicks her low and small packages her for the win. Sienna and Allie attack the knee and Maria conchairtos it. Drew vs. Matt is hyped up a bit, and the X Title is up next but first, a wacky Willow video. 

Braxton Sutter walks around backstage. Riveting. Eddie Edwards gets a shot at the X Title - so Lee vs. Edwards should at least be good. Nice chops on the floor by Eddie. Pope says that the X Division is hot now. Yup. It's a division of like four guys. Lee stomps away while Josh talks about his TNA blog and Pope says he should be his editor before talking about Eddie being an X Division, Tag Division and World Division guy. Josh mocks him for loving "division" so much. Josh talks about this whole issue starting due to Eddie turning down GS Helms - which I forgot, so good on Josh there. Josh says that Impact will be live next week, it will go long, and they'll announce the next TNA hall of famer. Josh calls the PPV the biggest spectacular of the summer. Nice fakeout back and forth leads to an Eddie plancha and a suicide dive. Lee counters a backpack stunner with a face rake and a deadlift German gets 2. Eddie goes up, but Everett tosses him off into a big knee for 2. Poor Everett gets a WHO THE HELL IS THIS from Josh. DJZ saves Eddie, but Helms jumps DJZ. Belt shot and a schoolboy with the tights ends it.

Lashley talks to Drew about hoping Drew wins, so he can knock or tap him out. Recap of the Gail attack. Gail is a horrible actor here, saying I HAVE TO BE OKAY FOR SLAMMIVERSARY! OW! Braxton Sutter comes out with a giant BS tron, and we see a guy behind the curtain taking photos of him. He's facing a jobber - yes, TNA has jobbers. Josh talks about Braxton a bit. BS punches away. Snap powerslam leads to babyface clapping that actually gets the crowd fired up. Big knee strike hits before THE JUMPING FLATLINER wins. Ugh. Knee was a better finish. Post-match interview on the floor with JB and Sutter - I like post-match promos. Odd to see them doing that for this of all acts, but hey, it's good. He wants to be on the PPV - and that's no BS. So that's why they gave him such a wacky name.

Jeff as Willow talks about THE FUTURE BEING HERE, the Bible, dying forever late and in Willow's way. And Jeff is the sane one in this feud. Josh says that if Matt wins, Lashley vs. Drew is off - at least say it will happen, but not be for the title. This just makes it obvious we'll get a BS finish. Josh talks about Rock This Boat - a show for people who remain NKOTB fans in 2016. Chops to the floor from Drew. Side Effect on the steps by Matt. DON'T DO THAT IN TNA. Mid-ring Ice Pick by Matt. Drew BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF MATT'S CHEST with chops. Jesus. He's beet-red there. Matt goes for the second rope elbow, but Drew catches him for a Celtic Cross for 2. Matt goes for the tree of woe stomp, but gets slammed off the top via a situp. Lashley jumps Drew. Drew and Lashley brawl for a bit with awkward stuff on the floor. Matt bitches and we hear Willow's theme. The lights go out and come back on to see the fans in Willow masks.

A really muscle-bound dude comes with a Willow mask, then two Willow impersonators come out before the real Willow insults Matt and "your brother Jeff". And he cackles some more. And then Brother Nero comes out. Matt and Jeff brawl, and this should really be the main event for the show. Well, this wacky - not a bad show though.


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