Monday, June 13, 2016

TNA Slammiversary 2016

The show opens with a very classy and touching ten bell salute to the Orlando tragedy. X division multi-man is up to start - so the X division continues to just be a nothing deal. Helms at least has a nice suit on instead of his usual bright green stuff. Helms is kicked out. Eddie and Lee do the over the top suplex spot. Everett flips onto the pile. Dynasty guys bicker and Eddie hits a double dropkick on them. Slick Pele by Everett! If I was WWE, I'd bring him in ASAP for something because TNA is actually getting in on the ground floor with him. Super German by Lee to DJZ. Lee and Eddie get into an NJPW forearm exchange and Lee takes him out with a flying knee. Lee gets beat by Eddie with a small package.

EC3 cuts a promo on Bennett, with a nice grey shirt on and Hogan's '80s tan. Your Mother's Favorite Wrestler Al Snow cuts a promo with The Tribunal and throws first day French in there, which is great. Tribunal is facing Shera and Grado, this will likely not be great. They had a parody of a match, I think. Grado gets a visual pin off a kick that misses by a mile, but Al distracts the ref. Demolition Decapitation hits and the heels win. Braxton walks backstage and Storm is cutting a promo, while Storm says hi to him and we get some pretty natural dialogue here - amazing. Gail vs. Maria is up, but Maria's hand is broken and we get an AMAZING promo from Allie calling Gail a GREAT BIG FAKER for having a hurt knee. Maria has a rainbow tie around her brace to show support.

Mr. William Corgan comes out with Maria's X-ray folder, with giant MISCELLANEOUS text on there again. We see her X-ray, and yup, that's a break. Sienna and Jade are now in a 3-way with Gail, and Sienna has added a giant feather dealie to her getup. Doesn't fit the monster gimmick at all. Jade is now working in pants, which is a bit strange, but does separate her from the Dollhouse stuff. AK-47 on Jade, and the Eat Defeat hits Sienna - but Allie prevents a pin. Allie gives Sienna the belt and Marti runs in and hits Jade with a telescopic billy club, giving Sienna the win and the title.

Storm's out in new black and white gear and a super-shiny jacket to face Sutter. Nothing much here. Nice suplex into the buckle by Sutter. Nice mid-air codebreaker by Storm. Storm wins with a superkick. E-li Drake names dummies and says he's a perpetual motion of badassery. Some good lines in here. Eli faces Bram, and falls off the top rope during his cocky heel intro - but totally sells it like someone did something to him. Eli wins a nothing match with his knee>lariat finish, which I'm digging a lot.

EC3-Bennett is up. Bennet has added gold tights to his shiny gold jacket - so he's now got a color-coordinated '80s jobber look complete. EC3 has shiny red gear that looks great. EC3 lands a nice sunset flip lift-up powerbomb for 2. EC3 jumps off with a flying nothing into a cutter for 2. Piledriver gets 2 for Bennett. One Percenter hits, looks awful, and gets 2. TKO and then a One Percenter wins it for EC3.

Hilarious Matt Hardy promo leads to Reby and Maxel coming out dressed LIKE MATT, who now has a piano tune for his theme. Jeff has a billion kinds of body paint on. Matt eats tons of trash can shots. Jeff smothers Matt to set up a table dive. Jeff brings in a gigantic ladder that is easily the tallest one on a wrestling show and spreads it across the length of the ring. He hits a Twist and then Matt...kind of slingshots almost onto the ladder and Jeff splashes him through it.

Matt sets up a keyboard between a small makeshift bridge next to the apron. Matt powerbombs him into it and hit just hits Jeff right in the face on the way down. It gets 2. Jeff recovers and sets him up on two tables on the floor. Swanton off a ladder in the ring to Matt on the floor wins. Nothing much to this. BroMans vs. Decay for the tag titles. Jessie hits an AWESOME pop-up rana from the mat to the top rope. Abyss mists the ref and Steve taps, but Raquel and Rosemary get into a catfight. Abyss powerbombs Steve onto Jessie for the win.

Drew cuts a promo about always wanting to main event a PPV as world champ, which was good. Lashley comes out in new white, black, and red gear that looks slick. Back and forth grappling to start. Drew takes him down and locks on the Iron Maiden a few minutes in - so way to kill that finish three minutes in. Lashley gets the rope and then Lashley gets an armbar, but Drew keeps trying to block it. Lashley goes for a head and arm choke, but Drew elbows out of it. Drew sends Lashley into the steps. Celtic Cross on the steps! Drew locks on a wonky sharpshooter on the steps as well. Drew lets him out and hits a Sick Kick for an attempted KO. Drew lands a tombstone piledriver, which looks good with him doing it since he's so tall. Drew eats a right hook and gets locked into a head and arm choke and Lashley wins it - really good match here.

Screenshot gallery -

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