Thursday, April 18, 2013

TNA Impact Wrestling 4-18-13

Nice Boston memorial graphic starts the show. There's entirely too much of Anderson saying words in the opening vid. The Devon-Joseph deal seems to be building up Park as TV champ. I didn't notice it before, but on the replay, Hardy nearly hit his head on the ropes coming off the ladder. Tenay made OFFENDED TENAY FACES again when Taz started talking. The post-show video made the ladder match seem even more important - and that's with it having the second recap of its major events in the first three minutes. Devon met with Garett and Wes in...the circuit breaker section of the clubhouse.

Wes and Garett's handicap match with Angle is starting the  show. I love them also no-selling the Aces and 8s costume guy. Great recap of their feud, complete with some nice sepia-toned shots of Angle. They made Wes-Angle seem pretty epic too, which is good because I completely forgot about it. Love Tenay knocking Taz for SPREADING NONSENSE! Tremendous. Angle chucked Wes out to set up the ad break. This ad is pretty darned appealing - it is a pain to head to the post office sometimes. Tenay is super-offended by a low blow. I liked Taz justifying it by saying Kurt's a cyborg. Could've done without them rambling about this low blow for minutes though. Love the ref helping Kurt do a German to both guys. Thanks to the whole gang coming out, the rookies beat Angle. I really dug this. Shield-esque double powerbomb to Angle from Wes and Bischoff. With the Aces taking over the powerbomb spot, maybe their nickname should be the Hounds of Harley. I dug that...goddammit, Anderson is talking. The badass biker is cackling like the Joker.

I love having the X division 3-way guys cut a promo about the match, the new rules of the division, and strategy. It almost makes the title seem important, and if they had a major guy in the division AND ACTUALLY TREATED THE DIVISION LIKE IT MATTERED, it would be a huge step in the right direction. Kenny King's got a new theme that kind of sounds like something they'd give the Godfather. The X Cam debuted, and is very yellow. Also, the ref's got a beanie on. Everything about this looks silly. This camera really brings home all of the excitement of...a guy running, and the ref raising his arms. But more yellow. Petey got the Destroyer 2 minutes in on King, but Ion made the save. Boring chant is here, despite a week of post-production work being possible. I liked Ion's DDT-esque half crab - the ref cam worked here since it focused on Petey's face during the hold he was suffering in. Petey brought his A game here and kicked ass with an outside-in German suplex and springboard rana to the floor. Super-long sharpshooter from Petey gave King the pinfall win once he hit a knee on Petey. Nice finish. Magnus apparently gets a TV Title shot tonight. Great. WHY THE HELL DIDN'T THEY HYPE THIS UP!? It's a chance for TNA to get a title back and they just now bring this up as not only happening tonight, but it's next.

BUY THE DIXIE CARTER FIGURE! It seems a tad odd for a company's President to have the stars and bars on her merchandise. Brooke Hogan and Christy shilled the new KO site. Brooke Hogan then met with Tess and Mickie about stuff. Good God the acting here. Doc and Magnus prevented the TV Title match by attacking Magnus. Knux and Doc hit a nice double chokeslam on the ramp to Magnus before Joe came out. I liked this - it made the Aces seem like cowards when the odds are even, and builds up the eventual TV Title win by Magnus nicely. They came back and recapped the Magnus beating. Joe yelled at the Aces. THEY'RE CHUMPS, NOT CHAMPS! Joe apparently had time to threaten THE POWERS THAT BE during the break and gets a match with Devon tonight. These AJ vids get funnier and funnier with each passing week, largely due to them not editing out the ridiculous shit. They showed their site video of Velvet getting her knee hurt on Impact in the match with Joey as ref. I love the camera focusing on her cleavage as much as possible during this knee injury report.

Tess and Mickie came out, and their match looks like it'll go on without a break during it. They did a dueling collar and elbow before Mickie did the most awkward setup for a cross armbar yet. This went on so long they did a mid-match edit to take out some lulls. This was awful, but entertainingly so. AJ was backstage being all emo with Bad Influence, who sang WE'RE THE BEST FRIENDS ANYONE COULD HAVE! That was great. Then Joseph Park got horribly assaulted by Team 3D and thrown into a shower. Mickie cut a promo basically being an annoying bitch. They recapped the tag title deal from last week, then Bad Influence came out. Work on Bad Influence: The Movie is in production, and Morgan Freeman's in talks to play Dixie. This led to Aries and Roode coming out with Aries saying that if they spent as much time...together as Bad Influence, they'd be a well-lubed machine too, and that they can put all the meat they want in their mouths because he's a vegan. This led to the champs coming out and sending the heels packing. This was odd, but amusing. Joe-Devon is next and for the TV Belt. I liked Kenny King and Gail cutting a promo against the Aces - reminds me of WCW uniting as one against the NWO. They recapped the Magnus attack again. Morgan said more words. He does nothing for me. Joe and Devon actually was a match. Taz said a bunch of stuff while Devon locked a chinlock on. Anderson gave Devon the win thanks to some knux. Brass, not Mike. After the match, they had Anderson do the most cartoonish knux shot in history. It was impossible to take this seriously due to him.

KOs title will be on the line next week, and the former tag champs get their rematch next week. Loved the fat guy in the front row nodding his nead to Storm's theme when he came out. AJ's got black and silver gear and is wearing his leather jacket/hoodie combo. Very natrual evolution here. I loved Tenay saying that these guys were here since day one, and when Taz said so what, he said without them, Taz (and by extension, the other old guys) wouldn't have a job. Tremendous stuff...until Taz buried TNA by saying he was a revolutionary force in another company that made a bigger impact than TNA. I liked AJ being more methodical here - it fit his angrier character. Tenay talking about AJ being shut out of a world title shot until BFG and that stip being set up in November amazed me since they've found a way to give him a bigger role on TV without wrestling and made nearly half of that time fly by. Gorgeous tree of woe dropkick from AJ. This feud has not only helped AJ, but put Storm seamlessly back into main events after being Random KO Tag Partner for a while there. Calf slicer from AJ looked sick and won the match.

Bad Influence came out and got kicked by him - getting a nice sorta pop from the crowd. The Aces came in and beat Storm down, so he left - but didn't seem to see the attack. I love Bad Influence trying to make a save too - everyone on the regular heel side becomes defacto faces, and it all works. Bully cut a fine promo putting the group over, and other than Anderson being a complete goofball and coming off as less of a threat than Wes and Garett due to how silly he's acting, the Aces and 8s came off great here. I loved Doc doing Hogan's ear cup, and Bully giving Taz a shoutout with his JUST ANOTHER VICTIM line. Chael should really do that for his promos, if only to give Lem Denton a shoutout in 2013. Anderson closed the show by giving one of Bad Influence a smack on the ass. Why, I have no idea.

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