Monday, April 8, 2013

WrestleMania XXIX

Super fun opener other than Show being the guy who...I guess turned maybe. Loved the flying RKO on Rollins and everyone but Reigns getting some of their armor taken away from them to show some weakness. Glad they went over. ENOUGH OF THE CENA-ROCK VID. For goodness sake, the pre-show had this kind of stuff all over it - zero need for it on the PPV. Ryback's green and red Christmas getup was something. Henry deserved to win just for having better gear. Henry's win was a surprise, but Ryback really should've won since he's definitely nothing but a big choke artist. Sure, he hit the Shellshock, but it's like losing to the champ in the title, but winning in a tag - you got SOMETHING done, sure, but not THE thing done. WWE IS THE MOST AMAZING COMPANY IN HUMAN HISTORY - THEY DO WORK WITH THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS! Dolph's new underwear-esque gear is a bit too much like Meat and Cody. Tag match wasn't much, but I'm glad Bryan got a WM win after last year's deal. WWE IS EVEN MORE AMAZING - THEY DO TONS OF MAKE A WISH STUFF TOO.

Loved the epic intro for Fandango - reminded me of MVP's at WM 27 in that it was a nicely upgraded version of the regular one. Loved Fandango hitting the Sin Cara flying kick to counter the triangle dropkick. LOLed at Cole saying the Flatliner was unique - he did in a different way though, slightly. Lionsault finish setup being botched sucked, but Jericho covered for it nicely even if the cradle wasn't perfect. WHY ARE THERE FUCKING K-MART ADS ON A $70 PPV? Loved the epic Rocky music video set to WM clips. Diddy's deal was okay. Loved the WHC hype vid involving wacky PSAs from the '50s. Swagger came off like such a jobber not getting an intro and having the hype video instead. Zeb wearing a nice shirt and tie underneath his giant vest ruled. Alberto's bathrobe didn't do much for me. Nothing about this really felt like a world title match - it was just a perfectly fine hour 1 TV main event, and not a very memorable one at that. WWE IS AMAZING BECAUSE THEY SUPPORT THE ARMED FORCES! LOOK, LOOK AT HOW AMAZING WWE IS!

Living Colour's performance of Punk's theme was better than Motorhead doing HHH's at WM X7. Punk using Taker's old black, grey, and purple color scheme was a nice touch. I loved how fast-paced this was, and really could've done without a Twitter graphic during a Taker match - something about that seems really odd. Punk using Old School was tremendous, and something I'm amazed hasn't been done before. Great high kick onto the table from Punk - shame the flying elbow didn't work out well. Great nearfall off the GTS not quite hitting, so Taker got a flash tombstone, but due to it being so quickly done, it didn't get the win. Great GTS>Tombstone counter chain led to the 'Taker win. Way better match than I expected - outstanding job from Taker and Punk here. They greatly exceeded their past matches that had me kind of dreading this one since 'Taker's more beaten up now than he was then. Loved him getting the urn back, paying homage to Paul, and a fireworks display going off in the heavens.

THANKS TO THE WWE UNIVERSE, THE TROOPS GET SLIM JIMS. WWE IS THE MOST AMAZING COMPANY EVER! HBK coming out in what can only be described as Wal-Mart gear was something. Brock was Overeem-ariffic here. Absolutely gigantic and more ripped than I can ever recall him. HHH coming out covered in neon powder was Jeff Hardy-esque. Not sure how, but Brock's back had a giant red welt on the back of it at the onset. Brock just casually throwing HHH through the announce table and then letting out a gutteral scream was amazing. Loved Brock not only doing on belly to belly on the floor, but doing a second one on the shattered announce table. Shocked to see HHH doing his Flair-style bump over the top given his age, injuries, and weight. He looks so strange wrestling with super-short hair now. Loved the F5 on Shawn, and I'm glad the botched Pedigree didn't finish the match. I liked Brock getting the Kimura, but HHH escaping, destroying his arm, and then doing the move to Brock. Tremendous bump from Heyman for the superkick. I'm fine with HHH winning since it took a Pedigree on the steps to do it and goddamn did Brock come off like a killer anyway.

Nice clips from the HOF - congrats to Trish being pregnant, both for the accomplishment and it bringing her bustline back. Bob Backlund has boundless energy, it's amazing. So great to see Bruno singled out as getting his own giant intro with a theme and tron. After over  quarter century of issues with WWE, it's great to see things get to the point where they're on such good terms. Rock-Cena was a slightly better version of last year's good, but not great match. It was hurt a lot by basically seemingly like a relic of the Attitude era with the parade of finishers back and forth - kind of like a video game match in that sense. Everyone's finishers were set to max and they just hit Y a bunch and then hit RT to counter and do it all over again. Should make it fun to retry having in WWE '13 though.

Cena won after nine billion FUs and after taking that many Rock Bottoms. Loved Cole, after telling the stories about Cena not being able to win the big one, becoming AN ELEVEN TIME WWE CHAMPION tonight. But he's never won the big one. And then Rock and Cena just kinda became pals, Cena left with the new title, and Rock's theme played out while he said thank you. That would've been a fine send-off for him if he wasn't coming back, but seemed a bit odd since he's doing Extreme Rules. Not a great show, and it sucks that despite FIVE HOURS OF TIME TO WORK WITH, they not only couldn't give Cesaro a match, but only one of the WHC competitors got an intro, the mixed tag was nixed, and nothing on the undercard was given enough time to really cook.

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