Tuesday, April 5, 2016

TNA Impact Wrestling 4-5-16

Recap of last week's Jeff-Drew match starts us off, which is good since Impact was impossible to remember given the crazy-busy week. We get EY vs. Jeff in a cage...okay then. Tonight is about REVENGE, RETALIATION, AND RETRIBUTION! EY vs. Jeff starts. Or not. EY promo. Jeff ends that by coming out with a table for the cage match. JB is replacing Pope because Pope fights Lashley later. They beat up Jeff before the match while Josh ponders WHO CAN BEAT BRAM AND EY. Literally anyone? Josh talks about the Treacherous Terror Twins, and EY hits punches. Jeff punches. Cage slams. Jeff sets up four chairs and goes for a Twist, but EY piledrives him through - and boy could that have gone badly. Josh yells with every call, so nothing means anything. Twist and Jeff puts him on a table for a swanton off the cage - and barely connects.

Maria and Gail admit to lying the last couple of weeks, so Dixie makes a 3-way for the title. Jeff cuts a wacky promo about it being ICE ICE BABY time after a match like that. Matt talks about being a champion and procreating like a champ, too! Matt's got a combover like a champ as well. Tyrus says that whoever wins tonight faces him because he won Bound For Gold. Pope cuts a promo on Lashley and faces him next. Pope comes out to his theme, tron, and in his slacks and a Super Pope shirt. While he poses, Lashley attacks because he isn't a moron. Lashley whoops his ass and tosses him over the top wildly. Pope recovers and hits him with a trashcan before attacking the balls with a kendo stick and then a White Russian Legsweep. Spear ends it. This was fun. Two more spears to Pope and EC3 comes out and chases him down.

Bennett jumps EC3 with a chair. EC3 has THREE DIFFERENT FEUDS GOING ON NOW. Mike cuts a good promo on EC3 after saying he just blames everyone for his problems. EC3 and his purple undies brawl with Mike, who tosses Mike in his path. They brawl outside and Bennett escapes using a tire iron. Spud is backstage with Tyrus and calls him brilliant. Jade vs. Madison vs. Gail is up for the Knockouts title.
Cradlemania runs wild as Madison goes for many covers on Jade for 2. Jade Germans Gail. Jade gets a walking double arm choke to Madison. Maria bonks Maria with the belt and Jade STOs Gail to win. Well, this helped no one. Al Snow destroying Grado recap. He tells Billy Corgan that YA CAN'T JUST LET ANYONE WALK IN HERE. Al says he just carried away, and Billy says that for BREAKING A MAN'S ARM, he will be suspended for ONE WHOLE WEEK - and if he doesn't apologize, THEN there will be a problem. GS Helms is mid-ring with Trevor Lee. Helms says he's making a dynasty and it's starting with the X Title and will continue with the Tag title since Eddie's got a title shot.


Shane says he's been a success in pro wrestling for 25 years now. WHAT!? He has been successful with guys a lot less talented than Eddie, so just imagine what they could do. Eddie says no, it's Davey's shot. He threatens Eddie and Beer Money comes in for a save and talk about the BroMans, EY and Bram, but they're the best. So then Decay comes down and Rosemary says that when you wish on a dying star, it makes no difference who you are. Isn't that kinda like signing a TNA contract? Abyss says the time is near and James says it's always Beer:30 and ass-kicking time. Beer  Money makes an invitational next week. Matt vs.Drew is up.

Not much to this before the break. Side Effect on the apron gets 2. Future Shock gets 2 thanks to Tyrus. Jeff comes down for a save and HARDY'S REVENGE! according to Josh. Twist is hit by Matt, but only gets 2.  A second is countered into the Iron Maiden and Matt taps. Next week, EC3 debuts Superman gear against Bennett and we get some kind of Matt vs. Jeff match. This show is so cold - even after a blah Mania.

Screens -

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