Monday, April 4, 2016

WWE Raw 4-4-16 - Post-Mania Show

A big WrestleMania highlight package airs - and as a highlight reel, WM worked."A WRESTLEMANIA HANGOVER? NO WAY - IT'S PARTY TIME!" - second-dumbest thing Cole has said over the last two days. Cole starts by saying that this is a very different crowd, while both Byron and JBL talk about how they'll boo people they'd cheer. Like ROMAN for example. Vince struts out. Crowd cheers his theme and Vince says "yup - SAME CHANCE SHANE HAD AGAINST THE UNDERTAKER!". Vince nixed the lockbox "NO ONE HAS ANYTHING ON ME AND EVER WILL AGAIN!" Vince tells the fans to enjoy Raw. Isn't he a heel?

Shane lumbers out to a huge Shane-O-Mac chant. Shane comes out with eye makeup on and shakes Vince's hand. He thanks the crowd, who tells him "you still got it". He wrestled maybe twice and had tons of time off and access to the best medical care imaginable - it's not like he could've done what he did on a regular road schedule. He says goodbye again, but Vince won't be upstaged and talks about how crazy it would be if Shane ran Raw. Crowd chants "let him run it" and Vince just...lets him... WHAT IN THE FUCK!? Cole says "this can just be nonsensical!". This is stupid, but will be less stupid if it's used as an excuse for mayhem ensuing with the Balor Club/Bulletproof and then that being proof Shane can't run the show. New Day is out. Big E's hips are out of control and the crowd chants along with every part of their intro.

Xavier has a big Booty-O piece in his hand and they all dance a bit. "Yeah, we want some Newwww Dayyyyy!" song. Xavier sings the Lion King song about the lone Booty-O that remains. Crowd sings along with them still being "YOUR WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!". It's astonishing how Rusev in trunks almost looks like a totally different person. Sheamus teams with Barrett in this one. Not much to this. They do moves before the break, some moves after, and the assisted super DDT wins. Sheamus says he's tired of this - they're a group of the best around the world. THEY SHOULD BE DESTROYING EVERYBODY. There's something wrong and that gets a "how you doin" chant. Sheamus says you're only as strong as your weakest link, and boots Barrett. Lights go out. YES! JUST WHAT THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS NEEDED! A WYATTS FEUD.


A thank you Wyatts chant breaks out after the I guess they're faces. WM slideshow. Vince says that Shane running the show is temporary. Summer Rae talks about the pre-show match, which we get no shots or clips of. She talks smack about Sasha, resulting in a match. Sasha has her Eddie gear in shorts form now - yay! Not much to this - Sasha wins with the Bank Statement. Apollo Crews just debuts next. Should've had a heel win the IC Title match and then give Crews the title tonight if you're going to at least go with an on-paper new era-ish vibe. Oh well - he'll join the main roster's 50/50 club now. And his hype video has lots of green in it for some reason.
WM press highlight reel. LOL @ EVERY SHOT OF ROMAN BEING BOOED! Tyler's out to job to Apollo. So they give him great white, black, and gold gear and decide "nah, GREEN AND WHITE suits him better". Apollo hits the press slam, moonsault, and the atomic powerbomb. That is such a wonky move. Today Show clips for Roman and Charlotte. Boy does Roman's suit look weird. Charlotte gets a formal presentation tonight, while Roman addresses the crowd next.

Roman comes down walking like a smut little shit. I dig this - as a heel, he could work.They've really got something in a sarcastic asshole Roman if they want to. He says "I'm not a bad guy, or a good guy - I'M THE GUY!" He makes a challenge and Jericho comes out. He talks smack. AJ comes out. 3 way for the title? Shouldn't AJ win a match or two before this? He says nothing. Then KO comes out - I guess we get a 3-way for a title shot. Well, this makes little sense - THEY ALL COULDN'T WIN THE IC TITLE, so here's a WWE Title program. But hey, any of these guys deserves the WWE Title more than the IC. Crowd sings every part of Sami's theme. Sami flips on Kevon, Reigns spears Jericho and leaves all arrogant. I kinda dig this. Dudleys vs. Usos in a table match later.

Shane meets with Roman and makes the fatal 4 way. So the moral of the story is "lose the IC Title and get into the WWE Title mix". Kind of like how losing in NXT promotes you to the main roster. Speaking of which, Baron's intro absolutely works seamlessly on the main roster. Baron cuts a great promo on the fans who don't know anything about him - he doesn't care, and this trophy is all you need to know. He's destroyed people and dreams to get here and he's going to be the end of days for anyone in his path.

Good promo. Not a good match though. Baron's offense was very basic, other than the Deep Six. They fight into the crowd for a countout. Well, Dolph's a good guy to do a program with Baron - this was a fine first step. End of Days on the floor to Dolph. Baron shouldn't beat FORMER WORLD CHAMPION Dolph Ziggler on night one on Raw - so this worked.

Ryder comes out with his title and gets a YOU DESERVE IT/WOO WOO WOO chant. This has to feel so good for him. He cut the promo about holding Razor's title after WM X, and now, Razor got to hold his IC Title after WM. That is a great, organic story and something that makes him easy to root for. He thanks his dad for taking him to all the shows, and Miz comes out and blames him for losing. I don't know what Miz's outfit is called, but it's amazing. Miz talks shit and goads him into a title match. Ryder runs a bit wild before the break. After not much action, Maryse returns to slap Zack's Dad and it distracts Zack and Miz wins!


Owens cuts a promo on Sami and Roman. "So, the night after the biggest-drawing WrestleMania of all time, Kevin Steen cut a promo on the WWE World Heavyweight Champion..." This was cool.VAUDEVILLAINS...DEBUTING ON SD!? Even more doomed. Lita came out for the WWE Women's Title celebration...while Eva's tits are just all over the place mid-ring. "HEY, WE WANT SOME BAYYYLEEEYY!" So did AJ Lee a year ago, and that didn't do much for her. And now Cole just buries that whole deal. Charlotte thanks the SUPERSTARS IN THE RING for everything happening. And the fans. More Bayley singing. She sucks up to the fans a ton here. Charlotte is not good or experienced enough for this...and is she a heel? Shouldn't she be thanking herself for being so good? They interrupt her constantly with a "women's wrestling!" chant. Charlotte thanks herself, FINALLY ACTING LIKE A HEEL, and all the other women leave. Nattie and her catsuit cut a promo on Charlotte and put her in a sharpshooter before Ric saves her. Awful stuff, but it's leading to a good match.  AJ says he wants to be WWE Champion. That ain't happening.

Primo and Epico are now pro-Puerto Rico/anti-WHEREVER YOU ARE heels akin to Sylvan when he was the ambassador for France. Table match time. No real action here. NAKAMURA chants. Dudleys win to at least get into the 50/50 club instead of the 10/90 club. Sami says he's been in the underground for 14 years and goddamn is that a lot of time to run your body down. Owens jumps him - so either he's hurt off that dive earlier that looked weird, or they're firing up their story. Powerbomb through the table - so I guess he's fine and this is just story-builder.

Dudleys run down the aisle. Team SAWFT to feud with the Dudleys! I don't know what Enzo is dressed as, but he needs to not do that again. Odd to not have Carmella in this act on the main roster.  Crowd does their whole deal on DAY ONE on the main roster - so the NXT format at least works well for doing that. "I GOT THE GIFT OF GAB AND THE GIFT OF JAB - AND I'LL PUT THAT LAZY EYE TO WORK!" Goddamn he was great and he made himself a star in a minute.
Ryder faces Miz on SD for the title. DR. PHIL IS ON RAW NEXT WEEK! Is it 2006? Cesaro comes out to replace Sami to a huge pop. He's in a suit, but like Rock, just has his gear on JUST IN CASE. Okay, this trope can just go away forever now. Cesaro has new white, gold, and black gear that looks great - and the suit makes him look like a star. So we've got Claudio, AJ, and Kevin Steen in the main event of the post-WM Raw for a WWE Title shot... Awesome. Tower of Doom spot with Cesaro doing a one-man powerbomb on two guys. Springboard 450 to Jericho gets 2. Corner uppercuts to Owens and AJ by Cesaro. MACHINE GUN UPPERCUTS IN THE CORNER TO EVERYONE! Swing to Jericho! Codebreaker to Owens. Walls countered into a sharpshooter by Cesaro. Clash to Jericho GETS THE WIN!? Wow - didn't see that coming.

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