Monday, September 9, 2013

Raw 9-9-13

Edge is starting the show and got a massive pop in his hometown. He's running around like crazy and even got on the second rope. He's moving around great and looks at least 10 years younger than he did in the ring. And he once again got blown up just doing his intro. Loved him giving Chimel a nod and a point for his big intro. Edge said that he was brought back by HHH, because it would be good for business. People want a reunion! But not of Edge and Christian - of Rated RKO. Edge brought Bryan out and shook his hand to pass whatever kind of torch to him he could. Massive Daniel Bryan chant - love the Oui, Oui, Oui sign in the front row too. Bryan said that HHH can do whatever he wants - he WILL regain the title. There's a fan who made a giant Bryan sign that went YES with its arms. Loved Edge calling Orton an asshole in a PG way. HHH came out after a few hours and said that Edge was a failure who never drew a dime. After nearly 20 minutes, HHH made Bryan-Ambrose with the Shield in his corner and Bryan gets to choose people too. Well, Hunter gets to pick them for him - Big Show. HHH said he wasn't a dictator, so the fans said he was an asshole and Orton asked what they were saying. Edge just said he was a dick. HHH said he had a stack of dimes neck...while standing next to Orton and since he couldn't hurt Edge, he'd hurt the ones he loved - and brought out Christian all beaten.

They hyped up watching the PPV on the app, then Edge stormed into HHH's office and said he wished the doctors would clear him so he could kick his ass. Loved HHH declaring that Toronto is now HIS city and ordering HHH to leave or else get escorted out by the Shield. They showed Kofi pinning Axel on SD. They're having a rematch. I hope we get an "E-ven Ste-ven" chant here. SOS hit near the ropes, and Axel grabbed them. They brought up Heyman not shaving, which is a nice little touch I noticed on SD that is far more apparent now. Axel kneed too much head in the corner and lost via DQ. I called it a while ago, but this furthers it - Punk isn't getting his revenge on Sunday. Axel went to kick more ass, but got hit with Kofi's kick. This is great build for Punk-Axel/Heyman. KING WEARING A SOMEWHAT CLASSY SHIRT?! Granted, it's just a Nike-logod WWE one, but it's better than his Affliction knock-offs. 30 minutes in and they brought up Goldust returning tonight to face Orton. They hyped it up with an awesome hype video to remind you of how awesome Goldust was while showing a bit of his more recent stuff so he doesn't come across as a total nostalgia act.

They came back and Axel was carrying Heyman. The poor man hurt his knee by slipping on water backstage. This reminds me of a glorious angle on the Wrestling Gold set where Heenan asked if a match with Bob Ellis could be delayed by a mere 6-8 months due to him slipping backstage. Recap of Show-Bryan from last week's main event. Booker met with Show to offer up more Sage Black Wisdom. Booker just rattling off the script and not paying attention at all to what Show is saying is great. Bray Wyatt, THE EATER OF WORLDS is up next.

Good lord, Dolph is now in the role of "unnamed random opponent after the break." He gets to face Wyatt. Giant crossbody explosion hits Dolph and they went to a break out of nowhere. Dolph used his trickery to avoid the clan, but ate an avalanche and Sister Abigail - named after his deceased sister. "This is the beginning of the end for Dolph Ziggler." Yup. They came back and hyped up Edge coming back to SD...which makes very little sense right now. BEST OF BOOK-DUST! Tremendous video. Heyman's out on crutches. Oh no - Dr. Kaye Fabian must've had some bad news for him. By golly, he tore an ACL, or an MCL - can't be too sure without a proper MRI IN THE UNITED STATES! Dammit all - he was looking forward to putting his prodigal son in his place, but he simply cannot compete. Maddox came out to say that WWE has a fully-staffed medical crew here, and can provide him with proper care. Love the "this is awkward" chant, Doc Samson saying that he's a doctor, and Heyman replying with I'M THE SON OF A PERSONAL INJURY ATTORNEY! Punk hobbled down the aisle on knees worse than Heyman's before God himself intervened and healed Heyman's legs immediately. Punk cornered the doctor, let him leave, then whooped him with the stick.

Nattie, Naomi, and Brie are facing Layla, Aksana, and Alicia. Brie is a face now. AJ on commentary was glorious, saying that she's too old for King, that she loves wrestling so much she tattooed the date she won the title on her neck, and that she didn't cut that promo to piss anyone off - but to fire them up. AJ's facing the faces in a 4-way, so it's basically a 3-on-1 handicap match. Poor AJ. Another fine Goldust highlight reel showing him win titles as Goldust. It's a shame he never got the ECW Title. Loving how they're hyping up Goldust-Orton.

Truth is out singing. JBL singing his song is a billion times better than Taz doing singing Mickie's. He's facing Alberto. RVD cut an inset promo. "Dude. A new champion. Will be crowned. And his name. Isn't ADR. It's R-D-D!" So yeah, this wasn't the best inset promo ever. A giant JBL chant broke out. Well, I'd rather watch him club Truth to death than Alberto. They chanted for Cole too, and Cole pimped a great Tout from Doc Samson. Cole talked about Alberto and Ricardo being buds for 10 years. So were Ricardo and Alberto buds for life, 10 years, or 3 years? Buzzsaw kick and VINTAGE ROUSEY armbar got the win. A great hype vid for Bryan-Orton aired with soundbytes visible, a paperwork-heavy look, and no bug on the footage.

Tag team turmoil is announced for the pre-show. Zeb cut a promo on Canada with Cesaro, and Santino returned from setting up his kick-ass gym and school. MASSIVE Santino chant. Nice plug for Santino's school. VINTAGE HASE giant swing got a billion revolutions and a holy shit chant. Cobra was avoided via a kick and a basic European uppercut got a huge pop for a 2 count. Swagger-esque lifting slam from Cesaro, who called Santino a piece of shit and then lost. Great match. Tons of fun. I demand a best of nine million series between these guys, in part so Zeb can freak out afterwards.

Sandow's out and Miz is his opponent. I'd be fine with them replaying the Cesaro-Santino match. They did moves and Fandango came out to a huge pop to lead to the VINTAGE MIDCARD SCHOOLBOY FINISH! Renee was boring backstage with Goldust. She is so great on the JBL and Cole show and none of that comes across here. Goldust says he's screwed up 2nd, 3rd, and 4th chances and Cody didn't deserve what he got. HHH came in and said he really, REALLY hoped that Dustin didn't let Cody and his wife down. Goldust-Orton is next.

They came back and showed the Cody-Orton highlights from last week. Dustin started with a lot of fire and JBL said that Goldust made Dustin more popular - which is quite true. Then he said that Dusty was more popular in polka dots than he was in Crockett, and said no one know who that even was - so he'll find an addition to his house there tomorrow. JACKKNIFE COVER BY GOLDUST! Goldust laid in some great corner chops and got a nice YOU STILL GOT IT chant. Powerslam avoided into an Oklahoma roll. Goldust is moving tremendously here tonight - I haven't seen him work since he had shoulder surgery after his last WWE run, but he's awesome. VINTAGE POST-BREAK CHINLOCK brought the show back. Loved JBL saying that Orton's going to retire every Rhodes. Great bit there since Dusty's last TV match was against him, Cody's was, and Goldust's could be too. VINTAGE DUSTIN with the bulldog. Schoolboy got 2 for Goldust, but an Orton kicked missed by a mile and still setup the draping DDT. Orton mocked Bryan with the YES bit to set up the RKO, but he countered with the Cross Rhodes! Tremendous pop for that 2 count. Orton got the RKO and the win. Outstanding match - far better than the Cody match. Orton cut a post-match promo on Goldust, Cody, and Bryan.

Los Stereotypicos are coming soon! Goldust walked backstage without his paint, crying, and looked really old. Him getting a double chin early on in his career always made him look older, but it's showing up badly now. Steph was an uber-bitch to him. Cody's return should be a big deal, but Goldust getting his revenge would be pretty sweet too. THE NUMERO UNO AMIGO! Ricardo announced RVD. Yikes. They recapped Alberto abusing Ricardo on SD, which was good since I forgot about it. RVD faces some dude next. Ryback's tron now having a giant bear trap in it rules. It's a battle of the airbrushed singlet. Alberto came out to say the fans wouldn't be chanting RBD, RBD, they'd be chanting ADR! They muted something early, so I'll just assume that RVD stiffed him on the leaping kick. Ryback did...something called an abdominal stretch. Atomic whip balls first into the post led to a DQ win for RVD. Well, that sucked, and the one guy going GOLD-BERG over and over didn't help. RVD winning to face Ryback next month could be fun. So of course, we'll just get more of Alberto's endless title reign. Steph met with Show to say that he couldn't touch the Shield - and that she had a chair for him. Hopefully it's not the chair of torture. Show destroyed a $10 tube TV you can get a thrift store.

More hype for Edge on SD, now with King saying it's weird to have him on SD after he was kicked out, so JBL said it's just an example of HHH being fair. They hyped up watching the pre-show on Xbox Live and PSN. What is up with JBL CONSTANTLY saying he was champ for 18 minutes? He held it for maybe 5. Ambrose has slimmed down a lot - he barely fills out his skintight top. I love JBL's idea of modestly putting over HHH is saying he's right 95% of the time.Nice front chancery suplex from Bryan to Ambrose. Show's C'MON MAN, FIGHT was hilarious. Great double bump from Ambrose off the super rana. JBL said he couldn't imagine a Shield member tapping - I'm sure at least Rollins tapped in a 6-man. SUPER BELLY TO BACK got 2. Massive this is awesome chant. Reigns went to spear Bryan on the floor, but he avoided it and demolished the steps. A Rollins dive resulted in him hitting the announce table, but allowed Ambrose to hit a rabbit lariat and a DDT on the floor. Ambrose yelled at him to stay down, but opened himself up for the unbreakable small package for 3! Bryan dove onto Orton on the floor, but was attacked by the Shield. They said that Show couldn't do anything, but I thought that was only during the match, not after. Orton, who is not immune to the Show edict stood in the ring over Bryan and teased an attack. RKO hit and Show...did nothing. HHH came out and demanded Show attack Bryan again. Orton turned around from brow-beating Show and ate the flying knee. Bryan got ONE over on them and held the belt up.

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