Thursday, September 12, 2013

TNA Impact 9-12-13 - No Surrender

AJ started the show looking ridiculous with a Bellator shirt and his five o'clock shadow beard. IT'S A VERY SPECIAL NO SURRENDER EDITION OF IMPACT!  While the BFG Series has been really stupid this year, the video package is quite good to set this show up. TNA really hasn't done one of these epic vids in a while, and this was a good one. They're really setting up the fall of the Aces and 8s with this video too - showing that he's gotten too big for his britches. MR. ANDERSON IS BRINGING THE WRATH OF HELL WITH HIM. Given the video package, it would really make sense for Devon to cost Bully the title. Brooke's ass belongs to Bully Ray - okey dokey. Bully's willing to forgive Ken because every problem is due to Hulk Hogan. Hogan came out in the Impact Wrestling tie-dye shirt that looks like it should cost $5. Hogan's saying words that can't be heard due to his music still playing. THANKS TO SPIKE TV (and TNA's failure) No Surrender is free, brother! Hogan is on a different level tonight - he's all sorts of wacky here. Bully wants Ken out there, and for whatever reason, Anderson's coming out to the Aces theme and in that gear. He looks like a scrub in jeans, a shirt, and a vest. I guess he didn't feel like getting in shape for a main event shot on TV. It sounds like someone backstage's audio is coming through on the mic. Weird. HYOOGE bump for Bully from Ken's punch. Oh, and for some fucking reason, Hogan made it a last man standing match at the last second and then said brother a ton. Yes! Aries-AJ is next~

Christy's cleavagey dress is even better tonight - it's bright red and a tad more revealing. Love the old dude giving a thumbs up to the camera. AJ's stupid emo theme is still being used to set up the big pop for his regular why not just use the regular theme? Follow Dixie on Twitter and find out that they'll have an hour-long BFG pre-show on Spike! DO IT, AND BUY THE WORKOUT APP OR A KITTEN DIES! The old dude, who now clearly has a WM 26 cap on, pointed down to AJ when Aries took him out with a dive. Dude's stealing the show. Corner chop exchange and they just...went to a break after a brainbuster tease. Well, that sure came out of nowhere. Snoop's got the goodgood, and Impact's got the so-so.

They came back with more brainbuster avoidance, then some elbow strikes and forearms. This would be a super-fun match to recreate in Firepro - especially with it having the same overhead elbow bonk that Aries used. Nice plancha by AJ. According to Taz, that's how "they work their style.". HOLY FUCKBALLS! AJ took a nasty bump over the top. Things went to shit after that until AJ recovered with a springboard elbow that Aries had to just stop to take. Aries countered the Clash in a way I never recall - by holding his hands. Then he countered with a snap rama and the corner dropkick. Brainbuster countered into the neckbreaker counter, then that got countered into the brainbuster for 2, then the Last Chancery.  AJ didn't tap, so Aries went after him, tried the 450, but AJ avoided, Aries went for a corner crossbody, but AJ avoided that then did the Clash backwards off the second rope. That was an absolutely terrifying finish given how easily feet could've gotten caught in the ropes. Crazy match though - in both good and bad ways. Sting finally explained that they made an exception for Magnus since he's not a former world champion, but that he WILL be one. Magnus said he's tired of being the future - the future is now. Only not, since his world title match wouldn't be tonight. Neither Rampage or Tito are there according to Tenay. Magnus-Roode is next, so...that's 2/3 of the announced card done in hour one, I think.

They hyped up the KO PPV with Taryn-Gail - a match that is five billion times better than anything on that show. Roode's got new black, green, and gold gear. Looks great and reminds me of the MITB logo. He wants Magnus out there no so he can kick his ass and get a title shot. They showed the St. Louis Rams in the building - and took ages to get a graphic up for them. Nice back and forth action here. Wonderful back flip roll out of the corner from Roode - never saw him do that before. Tenay talked about Magnus training with Harley Race, and gave a bit of a history lesson with Sam Muschnick. Front suplex into the flying elbow got 2. Mag Driver countered into a cradle for 2. Magnus gets the Cloverleaf and finally drags him to the center. Winner faces AJ, and since AJ's a face...I think, that would mean Roode finds a way to win. Nope. Fisherman suplex was countered into a jackknife pin, so he'll face AJ later. Roode's big NOOOO afterwards ruled.

Roode was pissed, and C/K helped him calm down. They're out to prevent anyone from going to the I guess taking out both guys. Manik met with Hogan, who lied to TJ's face and said that Manik's rise IS LIKE HULKAMANIA! Dixie came in with one of her goofy dresses and said that Bellator has pulled Tito and Rampage. After Rampage did shit OFF OF THE APRON TO THE FLOOR, I'm not surprised. They're both terrible on the show, so this is really a good move. Bully bitched to the rest of the Aces that they seem to want Anderson as their prez and as TNA Champ. Oh, and Manik wants to face Hardy too. I'd save Hardy going to that division for Destination X where he can cash it in for a title shot. Speaking of which, Anderson gets his next - to I guess set up a staredown between the champ and the Series winner to close the show.

Recap of Anderson in the Aces, and oh yeah, Sabin was world champ once too. I love that Tito joining the Aces was the catalyst to the group having problems...and now he's gone. Aces theme hit and the fans cheered once Anderson came out. I guess with the idea being that this is also for the Presidency of the club, it makes sense to come out to the theme. A fan in a silly silver numbered mask is near Bully and Brooke, whose ass is on display quite prominently. Anderson and Bully brawled and Bully pulled Christy and her cleavage in front of him. Bully ordered Brooke to get him a chair. She did, and the chair was used against Anderson - who comes off like a megastar here. The crowd is popping for everything he does.

Bully shoved Earl to take him out. Mic Check hit PERFECTLY on the chair, but the lack of a ref means there's no way for the ref to count him out. They showed a guy in the crowd with the stupid AJ jizz shirt - so at least one person bought it. Aces B-team came down to distract Anderson while Brooke hit him low. Knux gave him the kiss of death and they hit him with the Shield's triple powerbomb. Anderson got up at 9! Anderson fired back with punches before being taken out with a lariat. Running chain punch nails Anderson. Anderson stood up bloody at 9.5. Bully spear through the table gets a holy shit chant. Anderson's selling of that was tremendous - could've done without Bully holding up the jagged table piece. It came off like a parody of the Tully-Magnum bit. In theory, the spear through the table was a weaker finish, but it was sudden, looked good, and Anderson wold it perfectly. Nice touch with the EMTs too. Super-effective match. Loved Bully being a super-dick and knocking him off the gurney. PILEDRIVER ON THE RAMP. Wow. This would've made for an awesome write-off of his character.

GunStorm's out to I guess setup a tag title match for BFG. ODB cut an annoying promo about being knocked-up champ next week...and taking it seriously. I'm not sure if "the modern-day viking" is a better or worse nickname than Mr. Intensity. The crowd still reacts to Storm like he's a star - thank God. Goddammit, Chavo is out with Hernandez. Chavo annoyingly reminded us of him winning the tag titles with him a year ago at BFG. Chavo heeled on Storm saying that Storm's only been in one of the best teams of all time - EVERY TEAM CHAVO IS IN IS THE BEST OF ALL TIME. According to him, GunStorm has been on a losing streak. Wasn't their last match against the BroMans, and they won that. Champs accepted a non-title match next week - if the Mexicans win, they get a shot at BFG. Good promo from Gunner - shame he didn't say "kickin ass" after Johnny Cash though.

This show has flown by - main event is up next. The BFG pre-show will have footage from Kurt's HOF induction and a live match. Might as well hold off Angle's return until BFG at this point, unless they do a big MEM-Aces deal. Some fans actually did AJ's P1 handsign. This got the big JB intro - yay! Great run-up side headlock takeover from AJ. EGO got involved and stopped things. Match continued after the ad break. European uppercut counter to the flying forearm off the ropes was about a 5 on the Cesaro scale. Mag Driver got 2. The Cloverleaf is now the Kingsley Cloverleaf, whichw as countered into a triangle. Pepe almost hit for 2. Calf killer ended with a rope break. That run-in completely killed the flow of the match. Double-leg power takedown ala Swagger gets 2 for Magnus. AJ sent Magnus down from the top with some forearms, hit the Spiral Tap and won. Wow. AJ won the thing and now they can complete the storyline they set up with him not getting a shot until BFG. Magnus came off good here, but it wasn't the star-making match you know they wanted it to be. AJ then went all rah rah rah with the fans. He then bitched about Dixie not re-tweeting him about his promo. Oh fuck. AJ's gonna cut A SHOOT PROMO pointing out TNA's flaws next week. I guess he got an advance copy of the rewrite of Death of WCW.

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