Miz said it was nothing but a good cop/bad cop routine and Miz got buried for insulting Steph on Raw. Miz said he called her a castrating witch, BUT HE SHOULDA CHANGED THE W TO A B! This was about a sixth-grade insult. Miz was given a shot with Orton, and Miz wanted it. HHH offered to send Papa and Mama Miz to the building in his personal jet - if the Cleveland airport could hold it. That ruled. The rest of this just a bunch of words for 13 minutes. Oh, and Dolph faces Ambrose later. Alberto gets a random match against someone next. Hell of a world champ.
Alberto beating up RVD in the back was recapped. They talked about RVD getting his ass kicked by Orton, then showed Alberto kicking his ass. I hope RVD re-signs because he deserves a better send-off in WWE than this feud. I loved Alberto's jumping claps after that footage was shown. Cole pondered that Truth COULD be in the World title picture if he wins. Yup, sure could. Shame that Truth's just a jobber now because he had some major momentum at two points in time and they've just destroyed him. Alberto's mouth got busted up on the suplex>stunner, but he won with the basement superkick. I love that being a finisher now. Post-match armbar. RVD made the save and got a huge pop. Chair skateboard returned. I'd really like RVD to win the title since he's at least got a character that's over - granted, it's the same one from 15 years ago more or less, but it's still better than Alberto. HHH made RVD-Alberto a hardcore match, or rather, THE BATTLEGROUND HARDCORE RULES MATCH! RVD did everything but put the belt around his waist properly here. PTPs met with guys and Titus gave them a penalty for doing the dance badly. Cole insulted the guys and called them nerds. This was amusing.
Zeb mocked folks who just say WE THE PEOPLE to try and prevent that from turning them faces, and then folks just did it anyway. PTPs are out against his duo. I was hoping JBL would say Zeb enjoyed climbing the smoky mountains when Cole mocked his climbing pants. Cesaro did the giant swing for 23 revolutions, leading to the wacky fan in the front row doing the Savage finger waggle for each one. JBL lost his shit here. Titus is a big motherfucker too. Gorgeous sambo suplex from Cesaro. Loved the blind tag allowing an ankle lock win out of a cover - great finish to a really fun match. Bray makes his SyFy match debut next - IT'S GOOD FOR BUSINESS! That just seems odd to apply to this gimmick.
Ryder came out to be victimized. His bright gear screams goober. Loved the crossbody missile getting a little touch with him tying himself to the ropes afterwards. One guy yelled HUSKY HARRIS at him. Wacky chinlock from Bray. Flying forearm in the corner led to the Broski Boot for...not even 1. Sister Abigail's Kiss took Ryder out. US Title match is up next, with no real hype on this show at all. Dolph brought RVD and...Kofi out to second him. Well, Kofi used to be a main eventer. Four years ago. Cole hyped up an exclusive response from the Rhodes family tonight, which sure is odd for folks who are fired. Match went a couple of minutes before shit broke down. AN ENTIRE BRAWL HAS ENSUED. As opposed to a partial brawl. HHH made a Holla Holla Holla six-man tag. Bell rang...and they went to a break.
They came back with RVD getting beaten up to set up the hot tag. Dolph hit the heartstopper elbows. Okay, so they bring up the move KILLING JERRY LAWLER and then have him still do it. Sure, the guys he's doing it to are younger, but it isn't like many of them aren't at risk for major heart problems later thanks to the wrestler diet. Big KOFI chant broke out in some form or fashion. Crowd actually seemed to be hot for this. Goofy fan in the front row did the Black Power fist after Reigns got 2. Kingston got the tag and fired up. Crowd went crazy for him - dude still manages to get over no matter how they've marginalized him. It's kind of amazing given how little mic time he's given. Spear to Dolph took him out. Moonsault off the apron from RVD wound up looking more like a Davey Boy powerslam from Reigns at the end. Springboard chop to Amnrose from Kofi before Reigns came in and got kicked. O Conner roll got countered into a flying curb stomp from Rollins to win. Crazy ending, but a fun match. Renee asked Show how he's doing. He said he can't sleep, he's a pariah, HE'S CALLED NAMES! HHH came in and he broke down. AS A FRIEND, HHH will help him find another job. But it's tough since he can only be a doorman, paperboy, or maybe airport baggage guy. That came off like a shot at Dr. Death - fitting HHH filling in for Vince getting in subtle digs at JR. HHH mocked Show for crying. This was emasculating for Show more than usual. Loved Show roaring at him. MACHETE KILLS. MACHETE DON'T TWEET!
Tamina's with AJ because she's her bodyguard now. She's dressed a bit like a feminine member of the Shield. AJ's got a giant arm brace on her right elbow. Cameron did about the world schoolgirl cradle ever. Split legdrop from her got 2. Tamina prevented Naomi from getting involved directly, and then Cameron got another schoolgirl for 2 before eating the Shining Wizard-ish thing for 3. Heyman walked with Axel backstage. Cole hyped up WWE 2K14. Goldberg's full intro with backstage stuff is included. That'll be fun - especially if they can manage to top VPW 2's entrances. Cole called Heyman the fattest manager ever. JBL rightly told him to stop it with the cheapshots. Ryback's massacring of Punk was shown after a glorious promo. Then he talked more after that and was great blaming the fans for what happened to Punk since their cheers led Punk into his trap. This was awesome and made Punk-Ryback feel like a fairly big deal...until I remembered Ryback's losing streak starting against Punk a year ago.
WWE is going to rise above cancer again, and Slater gets to face Santino. Mr. Monday Night is now MR. YOUTUBE as RVD is on the JBL and Cole show. JBL said this wasn't exactly Dick the Bruiser vs. The Crusher. Then he sang the Laverne and Shirley song before Cole talked about the Fonz. Jinder mimed the flute while they dubbed in a ton of music, so Khali countered it with more music. The Cobra was about to go after SSantino, but Hornswoggle saved him. JBL said things have jumped the shark. Cole called it rotten, and Cole said this was the home of Austin 3:16. Khali played music to bring the cobra back to life and give Santino a win. This was VINTAGE HORNSWOGGLE VS. LITTLE BOOGEYMAN in that the commentary saved it and made it glorious and well worth watching.
Los Matarores were hyped up. These things would've been a lot cooler without the stupid green screen shit. Their theme should get a massive pop. Rhodes recap. It's been nearly a month since the Cody firing angle. Wow. Sure doesn't feel like it. HHH site video played - the Rhodes family can go to Raw as his guests - he has a proposition for them. @CODYRHODESWWE Touted with Goldust about it. I liked Miz coming down and going for some ground and pound right away - it made perfect sense...until Miz started throwing punches. Miz bonked his shoulder into the corner when the clothesline missed. Doctor stopped the match, but Orton destroyed him anyway. Miz won via DQ. HHH said he wouldn't allow Orton to INTENTIONALLY LOSE LIKE THAT, so he made in No DQ. Miz made a brief comeback but got bonked with a chair and got all glazed over. Draping DDT to the floor. The close-up of Orton's face makes him look at least 40. It's a good thing Miz has 2 layers of gear on, because Orton gave him a mega-wedgie with the DDT and tossing him into the ring.
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