Thursday, May 25, 2017

WWF WrestleMania X8

We start off with a long Saliva "Superstar" performance, then another video recapping WrestleMania throughout history. RVD vs. Regal starts things off and Regal has the belt on upside down. RVD hits a flurry of punches on the ground splitting open Regal's lip. Regal...takes a while shall we say to find knucks, gets them kicked out of his hand and eats a spin kick. He doesn't get much offense here, but does l and a sick half-nelson suplex. He grabs knucks, but the ref takes them, so he grabs another set down his trunks, gets kicked in the face and loses via the frog splash. RVD is also busted up, but does his RVD fingers bit and gets over huge.

Christian is interviewed about why he turned on DDP on Raw - the answer should've been "so I could get a Mania payday". Instead, he mocks DDP's giant smile and mocks him for trying to motivate him. DDP comes out with the European title and they have a pretty solid little matchup. Nothing too amazing, but they hit their signature spots and DDP even tries bringing back the out of the corner cutter only to have Christian hit the falling inverted DDT for 2. The Unprettier is countered into the cutter and DDP wins. He congratulates Christian for not throwing a tantrum, leading to a tantrum and DDP going through the crowd. DDP went over and made the most of it by getting in as much of his WCW stuff as he could - and it's nice seeing one last People's Champion deal, and the only one at a Mania.


Rock chats with Coachman, mocks him and Rock asks him to pray. "What up, G!?" is a great line and Rock asks WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL is up with that before kicking him. Rock asks what Hogan's gonna do when he runs wild on you! Rock rips his shirt and says he'll smell what he's cooking - good, but nothing amazing. Goldust is out for the hardcore title match with gold props. He gets his gold trash cans out. MAVEN WAS HARDCORE CHAMPION!? Wow, I only remember this for the gold props. Maven gets jumped and thrown into the barricade. Goldust hits his back with a silver cookie sheet. Goldust goes to slingshot him into the can, but Maven sidesteps it throws it at him, and Maven dropkicks it into his face. GOLDEN SHOVEL! Goldust kicks the stick part into his ribs, which is neat. Goldust runs wild with corner shots before throwing him into the can for 2.

They hit each other with can lids. Spike gets a pin after running in on Maven. Crash comes down and runs after him. Jericho vs. HHH graphic shows HHH as ungodly huge. Lilian hypes up Drowning Pool to tell the story of HHH vs. Jericho. Great. MORE VIDEO PACKAGES. Crash brawls with Spike backstage in the box district before Al runs into them with a golf cart. Helms flies in and kicks Spike to win the title. Al recovers and wonders what happened. JR and King show us what happened seconds ago. Good use of time.
Kurt Angle comes down WITH HAIR, which is still odd. Kurt jumps him to start. Kurt back suplexes him and this is better than expected, but nothing amazing. Kane runs wild with a clothesline and backdrop. A powerslam gets 2. Angle slam hits for 2 - so it's not even a finish in a mid-card match in 2002. Ankle lock is on and he gets kicked out of it before locking it on again. Kane gets the ropes and hits an enzuiguri. Kane goes up top for the lariat, but eats a run-up belly to belly. Kane avoids an Angle slam, and Kurt turns a chokeslam into a really shitty cradle for 3 with Kane's shoulders up for 2 and 3.

Helms is backstage and finds a broom and hides behind a privacy screen. Godfather's hoes are backstage, so he hides behind that, they disrobe and the broom becomes a shadow cock. This offends the hookers of course, and Godfather goes to save them. What a nice, friendly pimp. Actually, this is when he went legit - so I guess he had a business card or something. He really slimmed down, but the leopard print outfit was a bit much even for a pimp. Taker and Flair time! Flair has rich, flowing hair and facially, he looks well over 20 years younger.

We see Flair and Taker go at it at No Way Out, and Taker calls him out, but Flair is an owner and says no. Arn actually bumps and blades on TV and then Taker attacks David while he's training, and he also blades. Flair cuts a great promo and accidentally punches a "fan". The board of directors fires him as an owner or something and Vince is made full owner. Flair has an outstanding furry suit jacket here and Vince makes it a no DQ match.
Taker comes down to "Rollin", and they didn't dub out Limp Bizkit, so I guess he's still making a bit of money for this. Pat and Jim talk about how Taker came up with the American Badass gimmick so it would not only update his deal, but also give him something he could take to WCW since they couldn't really own "this is me and I happen to be called the Undertaker". Flair rushes in and takes Taker down before punching away. He takes him outside and beats the shit out of him too. Taker bumps around like a champ for him. Flair jumps into a bearhug before being sent into the post.

Flair slugs away in the corner and he really had underrated punches. Flair gets sent into the corner, but doesn't do the flip. Taker hits corner elbows. Flair flip and he eats a boot. Flair is sat down and eats a punch. Flair is busted open. Shocking. Flair flops down and chops away. Taker eats a lariat in the corner and flops again. Flair is bloody and now blood is on the lens. God this rules. Taker sets him up top and superplexed but Taker pulls him up. Taker beats him up more and pulls him up again.Taker is bleeding and then slugs him hard.

Taker goes for old school and we see blood on his gear, but Flair pulls him off the top. Taker hits a sideslam for 2. He's only 9-0 at WM here. Wow. Flair ducks a big boot and Taker crotches himself. Flair hits him with a pipe several times, instead of just once. Flair grabs a sign and hits Taker with it. Taker actually sells this. Flair gets the kneeling headlock punches to open up the wound! Taker goes for a chokeslam and gets kicked in the balls. Flair gets the figure four, but Taker does a perfect zombie situp!


Taker chokes him and hits a chokeslam-ish thing for 2. Taker beats him up some more. Taker sends Charles into the post and grabs the pipe. Flair chops him and Taker just throws the pipe down and Arn HITS THE SPINEBUSTER and rolls out. This gets 2 and Taker sends Flair to the floor. Arn is bleeding before even getting hit. Taker locks on the standing dragon sleeper on Arn, so Flair chairshots him down. Taker goes for the Last Ride, but he can't get Flair up and then Flair just pops down, so Taker turns it into the tombstone for a perfect finish. A fan holds up a 10-0 sign and Taker beats up Robinson before holding up 10 fingers.
Taker goes up the ramp with the motorcycle and Booker is interviewed by Frosted Tips Cole. Booker chats about Einstein's theory of relatives. Booker really has done well for himself and is still around despite being quite awful at his current job. Edge keeps his Rob Zombie song too. Edge is ungodly ripped here. This is the match where they're fighting over a shampoo commercial. Booker hits a missile dropkick for 2. Edge goes for a super rana and yeah that just doesn't go right. Edge o Matic gets 2. Booker gets the pop-up sunset flip for 2. Edge slingshots him into the corner. Booker does the spinarooni and one of the best thing they did was set it up - it became a signature spot instead of just being something he did out of a move. Edge spears him for 2.5. Edge does the spinaropni, avoids a kick and hits an impaler DDT to win it. Sloppy, but fun match.
Coach interviews Helms and he says he isn't a Hurri-perv, WHASSUP WIT DAT. Molly turns on him and wins it. Austin vs. Hall is up and Austin beats him up before the bell. Austin jumps Nash, who actually falls to his knees. Hall lands a series of corner lariats. Hall stomps away. Austin hits a stunner and Nash pulls the ref out. This of course isn't a DQ. Austin makes his own comeback and kicks Nash in the balls to stun Hall. Another ref comes in and Nash elbows him. Hall is backdropped to the floor off the Edge. Austin brings out refs who want Nash gone. They check on the ref. HALL HITS A STUNNER for 2. Standup stunner leads to the big bumping stunner and Austin wins - not too bad. Hall actually had something in the tank here.

Clips of Axxess. Time for the APA vs. Hardys vs. Dudleys vs. Billy and Chuck. I have zero memory of this match beyond Stacy's ass. Saliva plays the Dudleys to the ring. The APA, Hardys, and Billy and Chuck follow them. Chuck gets 1 and JBL tosses him around. Nasty Saito suplex to Palumbo. APA hits the Dudleys on the apron. Ron spinebusters Chuck on the floor. 3D to Bradshaw. APA is gone. Hardys run wild on the Dudleys. Hardys double DDT Chuck and he does headstand to show tons of light and a handstand. Jeff hits the whisper in the wind on Bubba. Jeff slaps Stacy's ass and Jeff eats a doomsday device. Bubba chops the shit out of Jeff in the corner. God, Jeff is so skinny here.

Jeff eats a giant backdrop and we hear about Jeff drawing on his arms with marker when he was supposed to be doing an interview with Wade Keller. Devon gets 2 off a suplex.  Matt saves Jeff from a ball-busting tree of woe. Devon hits the pinwheel elbow. Devon goes for the saving grace, but Jeff hits Christian's inverted DDT. Matt brawls with Bubba and backdrops Devon. Twist on the rope for Chuck. Wassup time, but Billy tosses Devon through a table. Twist and swanton end it for the Dudleys. Jungle kick to Matt gets 2. Billy goes for the One and Only, Jinder's finisher, and Matt counters it. Poetry in Motion to Chuck and the Twist hits before a swanton, but a fameasser out of nowhere gets 2. Belt shot ends it.

Hall and Nash chat backstage and Hogan tells them to not interfere. Hogan is incredibly tan here, even by his standards. They actually sent Hogan back to Tampa the night before WM to get red and yellow gear, but wound up going with NWO gear anyway. Christian bonks Molly with a door to win the title. Hogan vs. Rock is up! Outstanding video package shows Hogan in his prime and thankfully, we got Rock vs. Hogan before Rock went full-time to Hollywood and Hogan retired. The goofy semi truck angle really killed things.

Hogan is shockingly over, amazing. Hogan is so jacked here, wow. The staredown is ungodly heated here - this is definitely history. Tieup is won by Hogan and he poses to a huge pop. Hogan is a total face here - calling Rock to the center. Hogan bounces his pecs and clubs away. AXE BOMBA! Rock hits a diving lariat to boos. Hogan shoves back and forth and plays for sympathy. Rock sends him down with a lariat and teases the rock bottom, but gets countered. Hogan drops a series of elbows.

Hogan punches away in the corner and hits a corner lariat. Rock gets a shitty tackle and punches before eating a back suplex. Hogan gets an abdominal stretch and a cradle for 2. Fans cheer the backrake, so he does it again. 10 count punches and some biting. HOGAN CHOKESLAMS THE ROCK!? Wow, I have no recollection of that. Giant Hogan chants break out and then Rock gets sent outside. Rock beats him up on the announce table and goes for a chair, but the ref takes it away and Hogan lariats him down.

Rock gets sent into the ref and Hogan punches away and doesn't take advantage. Spinebuster by Rock. Rock locks on the sharpshooter and it's one of his least bad ones. Hogan makes the ropes, but there's no ref. Hogan taps, but there's no ref. Rock kicks at the ref and Hogan hits a low blow. Hogan hits a rock bottom for 2.5. Hogan takes his belt off and whips him. He goes to punch him with it, but Rock DDTs him. Rock whips Hogan to boos. Rock hits a rock bottom and Hogan hulks up!

PUNCHES AND THE BOOT. BIG LEG GETS 2! A second legdrop misses and another rock bottom hits! A THIRD ONE HITS and it's people's elbow time. Rock wins it and the crowd goes a bit mild because Hogan didn't win. Rock goes to every corner to pose while Hogan struggles to get up. Hogan gets up and they shake and Hogan gives him the stage. This remains a great match - not exactly a technical classic, but an incredible spectacle. Nash and Hogan come in to beat up Hogan, but Rock saves him. They play Rock's music here, even though they really should do Real American. Hogan goes to leave, but Rock wants a posedown. Rock tells him to make sure to get all four sides - ha! Hogan still sells the ribs - good stuff and they leave together and we get a weird endless mirror shot of them leaving.
Big Show is at WWF New York, not getting a payday. They do their BS attendance record of over 68,000 and these figures are just for entertainment purposes. Women's title is up, with Jazz, Lita, and Trish. It's amazing how Jazz went from nothing in ECW to a champ in the WWF, not really a huge one, but still. Lita is out to her Forceable Entry theme. Trish is out in her Canadian flag getup. Half crab to Trish by Jazz and then she gets the bitch clamp. Lita gets a sloppy monkey flip and sloppier punches to Jazz. Protobomb gets 2 for Lita. Lita hits a weak kick up top and this somehow sends her mid-ring for a cradle. Trish's bulldog gets 2.

Jazz's fisherman's buster gets 2. She was really quite good in-ring for the era. Lita hits a backdrop that Trish takes horribly - she lands everywhere but her back. Litasault to both, but Trish gets her knees up for 2. Trish and Lita bonk heads, sending Lita out. A fan walks by with a KANE SMELLS sign and Trish's knee gets caught in the ropes. SUPER FISHERMAN BUSTER BY JAZZ ENDS IT. Wow. Christian has the belt and Maven takes the title back and steals his cab.

Fink does the intros for the Undisputed Title. Drowning Pool plays HHH's Forceable Entry theme. Well, it is pretty good. HHH is gigantic and tan. Amazing how he'd get bigger 15 years later. HHH looks absolutely ridiculous here. Jericho is out holding his two belts to keep them warm for HHH. He introduces Stephanie, who is of course the more important person in this act. Stephanie looks so hot here.

Pat and Jim talk about how HHH volunteered to take calls from Vince at 4AM back in the '90s to learn it more. And he is ungodly tan and appears to have gained 20 pounds of muscle in Jericho's intro alone. Jericho goes to HHH and HHH clubs away. HHH slugs him to no reaction. Wow - the women's match actually got a better reaction than this is. Jericho gets a bit of an edge and poses to get a very mild reaction. Well, he looks completely stupid and he's been picking up dog shit - so this is not really a highlight for Jericho's run.

Jericho kicks the leg on the floor and takes it out mid-ring. Goofy spot where HHH locks on a figure four, but Steph goes to the eyes and then Jericho spears her accidentally. HHH goes to pedigree her, but Jericho saves her. Jericho works the leg and Steph kicks the quad. Crowd makes no reaction. Jericho locks on a stretch muffler.
More knee work and Jericho locks on the ringpost figure four. Jericho drop toeholds him and then does a one legged Muta leg snap. Jericho goes for a jumping DDT, but HHH swats him away and hits a spinebuster. No reaction, and Arn got a huge reaction for it earlier. Jericho goes for the walls on the table, but HHH avoids it. HHH is backdropped through the other table. Lionsault gets 2, as always. They're 20 minutes into what would've been a good 15 minute match. Jericho attacks the quad to avoid the Pedigree. Walls is on and FINALLY, A REACTION. HHH gets the ropes somehow and then Jericho just brings him back and HHH gets the ropes. Jericho leaves to get a chair while Steph distracts the ref. HHH DDTs him on the chair for 2 and no reaction. Steph tries to hit HHH with a chair, but the ref takes it, so she shoves him and then he pedigrees her. Jericho hits a chairshot and HHH gets his hands up for 2. HHH hits a pedigree and wins it, and they get a bit of a pop. JR talks about this being a great show but no memory being greater than this one. Wow.

The show closing "Superstar" video is pretty good. They can't save Kane-Angle though. Flair vs. Undertaker was outstanding and that plays well here. They use the live performance of the song, which isn't quite as good as the studio version - still fine though.

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