Friday, June 28, 2013

SD 6-28-13

I missed the first few minutes due to shitty weather causing the cable to go out. It came back with the Sheamus-Sandow recap and Sandow DEMANDING THAT SC SECEDE FROM THE UNION AGAIN! Tremendous. Sandow's in black and purple gear, and the the ring is decked out in stuff that "reminds Sheamus of the street he grew up on", which apparently had a lot of green kendo sticks. Clubbering forearms on the beer tap ruled. Dropkick on the floor from Sandow had a nasty landing for him. Sheamus attacked with a keg while JBL talked about the history of Guinness. A sack of potatoes was used which Sandow, God bless him, took a bump for. They came back from a break with Sandow smashing him with a back elbow. I'm astonished that the chairs aren't painted green. Cole is making sure to alert us that EVERYTHING IS GREEN BECAUSE OF IRELAND! JBL called Cole out on being a sycophant for mentioning the McMahons being from Ireland. Sandow went for a pencil trick droptoe hold and actually hit it. Sick. Sandow then beat the fuck out of him with a kendo stick. Chair toss from Sheamus to Sandow, which I'm sure will result in some sort of fine after the Bryan-Orton deal. Sheamus then beat the EVERLOVING FUCK out of him with a kendo stick. Two chairs were used to set up...a seated Brogue kick. Well, that was a bit different. Great little match that would've meant more if Bryan-Orton hadn't happened on Raw, and main evented, while this was just a goofy opener. Recap of Bryan-Orton sets up Orton-Kane later. Bryan whistled with Kane and was silly again. Their hug was great though. Sweet lord, MizTV is next.

The same Brock-Punk vid from ME aired. The reveal of Heyman turning on Punk is going to be glorious. WELCOMETOTHEMOSTMUSTSEETVSHOWINWWEHISTORYMIZTV! Miz wondered who a team of Brock and Punk would about the tag champs, dipshit? Loved Heyman saying he can't bully Miz, but he knows a man who can THE INTERCONTINENTAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, CURTIS AXEL! Miz said Heyman was lying on Raw and made the silliest face in history to prove the seriousness of this point. And then he said Heyman was as tall as Yoda and smelled like Chewbacca before calling Axel the Luke Skywalker of WWE and proceeded to insult him and by extension, his deceased father. Axel cut a great promo about taking these insults personally. Heck of a babyface here. Heyman once again said his clients don't fight for free, which makes no real sense since HE'S ALWAYS IN MATCHES ON TV. But I did love him saying he won't defend it in an impromptu match. Loved Heyman mocking him for his stupid catchphrase and Axel hitting some weird version of the Axe Cutter. 6-man tag main event was hyped up, as was the second stereotype-heavy bit on the show - FIESTA DEL RIO. It's a celebration of his Mexicanity. AJ is skipping backstage for her match next.

SD was ALMOST ten times more socially active than 20/20! I like AJ going underneath the rope to enter the ring because she's so tiny. Nattie's AJ's opponent, and is apparently a freind of Kaitlyn now. Kaitlyn's out in AJ's getup looking pretty hot in the shorts. Cable goes out right after the timekeeper reveal. Show came back with Vince and Teddy together, and Vince is in a glorious yellow suit. According to Teddy, Vickie got ALL OF THE TOP SUPERSTARS for her MITB, so he's thinking of the future instead. He made sure to take a knock at Booker and give shots to "future playas". Barrett, Swagger, Cesaro, Fandango, Ambrose, Cody, and Sandow will be in SD's MITB match. And to ensure that you don't think they aren't on the level of the Raw guys, they didn't even get graphics. And then they did Fan-dan-go stuff. The MITB match for the world title came off as a total afterthoght here. YAY BRYAN IS OUT and gets a huge YES chant. Kane-Orton is up next. LOL. The All-Star lineup gets individual graphics and hype right after the WHC one gets nothing. Bryan's giant smile rules.

I love Bryan saying that Kane hasn't sent him either a text or a cake about his victory, and JBL wondering if Kane texts led to some great interplay. And Bryan is proud of being an all-star now thanks to MITB. Running DDT led to an ad break after some moves. This is about as "it's a match" as their WM one last year. Bryan getting a YES chant going is easily the best part of this, and him constantly telling Kane to just do what he did when he won. Bryan shoving him into the ring for an RKO was pretty awesome. Cable going out right after, not so much. FIESTA DEL RIO is up later and Mr. Back is up next.

WWE'S TWITTER NETWORK HAS 50 MILLION FOLLOWERS, and the Rock has five million of them. Gabriel is Ryback's victim. Rback-Jericho was hyped up a bit, which should be very good and give Ryback the win he's needed on PPV SINCE 2012! Justin freaking Gabriel is getting offense against Ryback. JUST. LET. HIM. KILL. SOMEONE. He hit the Shellshock, but got his leg attacked throughout so he was weakened. Ryback should never be weakened by Justin Gabriel. Jericho put Ryback over as a killer and destroyer, and a whiner, bitcher, moaner, complained and giant-excuse maker. Instead of Ryback, HE SHOULD BE CRYBACK. Then he attacked the injured man. Jericho was a right cock here and holy crap did Ryback come off as weak in this whole deal. The 2K14 reveal was recapped...why? So they could recap the art contest. They didn't even show the wacky covers. 6-man tag is next. Sweet. I hope the power doesn't go out during that. NOW SOCIAL MEDIA IS CALLING THE WYATT FAMILY CREEPY. They've really watered this group down having Cole blather on about social media with them for weeks.

I love the Usos and Christian having sorta-matching gear with purple in it. It seemed odd to have Christian go for a spear in the Shield's own corner, so I'm glad he got tripped up. Nice flying bodyblock from an Uso onto Reigns off the apron. Sick flip dive from Rollins after that. Spear finally hit and got a win. This was pretty good, but didn't feel like as big a deal as the Bryan win on SD. I loved the Shield being really pissed about that - made the loss seem more important. Alberto's has about as many parties as Terry Funk has had retirements. This might've been the first one with tortilla chips and salsa though, because HE'S MEXICAN. I liked him speaking just Spanish for heat. The Dolph pinata was a nice touch. Nice attack from Dolph. Seemed exactly like all the other ones, only with more Mexican stuff. And wacky guitar strumming. Maybe Wealthy American Businessman Nick Nemeth can come to Ring Ka King, because his thwack of Ricardo was JJ-worthy. This felt like the final stage in Dolph's face turn.

Screens -

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