Friday, October 4, 2013

WWE SD 10-4-13

The show-opening videos look really silly with the pink shirts all over them. The inclusion of Brie into the main event story make sense, but also causes things to be less compelling because she's a terrible actress. NOOO! STOPPPIT! All of the RKO through the table spots just made it seem odd because Orton seems to do as much damage to himself as Bryan with the bump. A BATTLEGROUND HAS BEEN GOING ON IN BIG SHOW'S HEAD! Shouldn't that be battle? Wouldn't a battleground just be the actual place a battle is taking place? Show set up a video...of himself crying and beating up people. Show lamented his size preventing him from having another job. Show being an uber mega-face here would work a lot better if he wasn't a heel before coming back and just being a face for no reason. This is going on for-freaking-ever.

He threatened the Shield with all of the rage he's built up over the past few weeks, which is quite awesome. HHH came out and said that he's ashamed of Show and that he dares to question HHH's authority. HHH said he considers Show a friend for the past 20 years, and he isn't sure why, but HE'S DECIDED TO BUY OUT HIS MORTGAGE! This reminds me of Homer getting a divorce from Marge without her knowing. I'm looking forward to the skit where HHH buys his giant bus too. Maybe they can put giant WWE logos on his special ladder, too. HHH added Orton to the Shield-Show match. HHH's "we're cool" at the end of this ruled. RVD has two kinds of black and pink shirts - they each look decent. He's out for a match next.

Cole had the balls to say that YOU MAY NOTICE the pink shirts, ropes, and ribbons. They showed about a dozen total people Fandangoing and just kept showing them over and over. I hope RVD wins, just because I'm tired of Alberto being world champ. He's been the main world champ all year and hasn't really had an amazing match as champ since the Rumble. GTA V ad aired. I'm so playing that once this show ends. They came back after a few minutes of nothing and Summer Rae crotched him and caused a DQ. Fandango beat him up afterwards. This spot would've made a lot more sense for Sandow, who is at least IN THE WORLD TITLE PICTURE...kinda sorta by being Mr. MITB. Nice outside-in springboard DDT from RVD. The world's safest Van Terminator hit Fandango. For some reason, Summer didn't just shove him off the top like she pretty much did before. Fandango had his hands covering his face, his arms covering his head as a whole, and a can was used instead of a chair. This was at least something to build up the title match.

Alberto faces Dolph...for some reason later. Ryback's out to kill someone - a bully no doubt. Truth. Ah, he's always bullying Little Jimmy. Raw was a BIG NIGHT FOR TRUTH. He won via fluke schoolboy and beat Axel. Truly an event on par with main eventing a PPV with Cena. He faces Axel for the title at the PPV. Truth got some offense in, so Heyman said HE'S BULLYING YOU! YER A BULLY! I HATE BULLIES! And I love Ryback. Missile dropkick back bump-style from Truth. They should really save that for Bryan. Meathook. Shellshock. Ryback demolished the #1 contender to the IC Title. This makes some degree of sense since he's beating up someone that's facing another Heyman Guy...but it's still pretty stupid. Axel showed up looking suave and hit a sliding rabbit lariat to Truth. Axel looks like a star in that getup and the white shirt looked perfect with the white-strapped belt. Alberto and his receding hairline met with Renee, who has a glorious blue and black dress on. RVD used a GARBAGE can, and Alberto will put him in THE GARBAGE CAN and send him to the GARBAGE DUMP. Then a goober showed up and gave him the garbage can. Alberto wasn't amused. Renee's dress ruled.

Alberto came out for his match with Dolph. Unlike on Raw, the Youtube clips of RVD were full-screen instead of in a postage stamp-sized window. That was saved for the very end. Sandow's out to do commentary. I guess Sandow-Dolph will make sense after this match...after it was announced for no reason. They're hyping up the kickoff airing on Xbox Live and on the PS3, but I've yet to be able to figure how where that area actually is. Sandow said he'd cash in the title shot the noble way - and nobility will be at his discretion. Cold told Sandow he should cash in the shot THE HONORABLE WAY...tonight out of nowhere. WHAT!? Super X Factor hit, and looks like garbage. Dolph should nix that ASAP. Every single thing they're proposing for the world title is more appealing than what's actually happening, and makes the kickoff match seem more important since it's being hyped as former Mr. MITB vs. the current one, and they're each in the mix. I loved Sandow saying that as a child, he threw up better catchphrases than "show off" with his alphabet soup. Dolph clung to Alberto's leg after the corner kick like Dixie did to Hogan. Sunset bomb from Dolph got 2. I guarantee he's going to bust out this kind of crazy shit on the pre-show. Loved Sandow saying that Dolph is willing to destroy himself for a match...but he isn't because he's smart. Double stomp off the second rope from Alberto to the back looked good, minus him slipping on his back a bit. Dolph missed the stinger splash, bonked off the post, then got hit with the basement superkick for a 2.9. This match is greatly exceeding expectations and is their best match together yet. Famouser got 2 after Dolph countered the armbar. Flapjack into the armbar got the win. This was easily the best match on SD in a while, and the best TV match all week. Los Matadores have their first match on SD next.

3MB demanded a rematch because they didn't know a bull was coming BUT NOW THEY DO! El Torito is hilarious, but this entrance goes on way too long. Heath's silly douche shades have the pink ribbon on them, AND THE BULL HAS A TWITTER ACCOUNT NOW! Los Matadores have a really wacky contrived double Irish whip spot. Gotta say, Primo and Epico do deserve a lot of credit for completely changing their style around with this gimmick. Ultimo's headstand sorta-returned, only the headstand wasn't done directly on the top rope - but next to it. Probably better for the neck and it still looks awesome. Ego Trip neckbreaker set up a flying brain chop off the top. Double torture rack backbreaker drop got the win again. Everything about this gimmick needs to be trimmed up a bit because the offense and act have a LOT of fat that can be trimmed but I can see this getting over reasonably well. DOUBLE SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY FROM EL TORITO. Tremendous. JBL called him a moo cow. Cole said he looked like a Mini Giant Gonzalez, and they went to the back with The (Big) Heyman Guys. Heyman said that Truth dreams of being champion, but it is mere fiction. CM PUNK WILL FIGHT WITH EVERY OUNCE OF FIBER IN HIS BEING against RYBACK! He will look up to Ryback, and Heyman - Punk's owner and savior - THE BEST IN THE WORLD. Heyman rules. WWE's cast of character's support the Komen Foundation.

WWE DOMINATES SOCIAL MEDIA! Aksana has the diva Komen shirt on, and IN CASE YOU FORGOT from the previous ad break, WWE is partnering with Komen. Brie's Battleground graphic makes her look skeletal. Brie won a nothing match, then AJ came out. AJ is the one heel on the show who isn't wearing a Komen shirt or ribbon. AJ's ass looks quite nice in jeans. And when Brie and Bryan have kids, the doc will spank Brie and not the baby. Okay then. Big E got a jobber intro. Cole has been on the WWE app ALL NIGHT LONG. Oh goody, it's app tutorial time. Just who is this tutorial meant for, because if you have a smartphone, you know how to download an app, and if you don't have one, or a tablet, you can't run the app anyway. Kofi's his opponent, and they recapped his win over Fandango (who RVD couldn't even beat tonight), and Wyatt attacking him. Big E is mauling Kofi with back clubs and a belly to belly. Big splash got 2. Big E is shining brightly here. Froggybodyblock got countered into a backbreaker attempt, then countered into a victory roll for a quick flash pin. This was just about perfect. Great shot of Kofi trapped between the Family and Bray. And then...Bray just said words and they cut away. Okay then.

Kofi-Bray was made for the PPV. Rhodes recap from Raw - Dusty's TALK TO THE HAND was great. Perfect really, since they can't really get back at him for it. According to Cole, Battleground is turning into a HUGE show. Shouldn't it have already been one before it was 48 hours away? Intros go until 10:48, so the main event match isn't getting much time. Cole said that Big Show doesn't really talk about his personal issues much. What!? That's all he does. Well, that and punch dudes. Nice bump from Show off of Rollins' flying knee off the top. I cannot believe that Tyler Black is not only in the main event mix on WWE TV, but has been for nearly a year and is dominating the Big Show. Everyone dogpiled on Show for 2 seconds, causing mayhem. A chair being brought in for a punch spot led to a DQ. Double chokeslam attempt led to a Reigns spear. Crowd chanted for Bryan, but Show got an RKO instead. Usos in all pink and white gear, that actually looked good, came out to try and save Show. Bryan made the save before Show's head could be Pillmanized. Alternating left and right kicks from Bryan in the corner got a huge reaction. Yes Lock got a bigger one before Ambros saved Orton. High kick sent Ambrose down for a bit, while the flying knee finished him off.

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