Friday, February 14, 2014

SD 2-14-14

The generic SD intro starts things off. TONIGHT, ORTON FACES CESARO. Boy does his graphic look odd with only the last name. Cole recapped Bryan being given the day off on Monday. YAY HE'S OUT FOR A SIX-MAN TAG! D-Bryan 4 World 6-Man Tag Champs. He'll be teaming with Christian and Sheamus against the Shield. This show already rules. Christian's black, red, and yellow gear is now so faded that the red is almost orange-ish. BUY NEW GEAR. Or maybe it is new gear and it's orange - either way, it looks awful. SHEAMUS AND REIGNS! THIS'LL BE FUN! VINTAGE SHEAMUS Finlay roll leads to a giant knee drop. Almost Brody-esque, only to the chest. Nice Bossman-style uppercut from Roman. Bryan tagged in to kick the hell out of Dean's knees. VINTAGE BRYAN COMEBACK! Kickout at 2 from a top rope rana led to the Yes Lock, a save, and a standoff! Eight minutes in and I'm loving this show, as opposed to Impact (or Raw), where the first 10 minutes were dreadfully slow. They came back with a Rollins chinlock, and the Orton-Sheamus match was hyped up for Raw. Sheamus's knee lift was now credited to HHH - of course it was. Outside-in clubbering from Sheamus to Rollins. FLYING Flatfooted kick to Sheamus! I demand that move be in the games - they've got that basic position in it anyway. JBL put him over as a guy who does stuff no one else does BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE CAN! Bossman Slam-style Irish Curse off a run from Roman - nice! Goofy spot with Rollins missing a senton on Sheamus by 900 miles. Christian and Ambrose have great chemistry in there - he's super-fired up in this! BRYAN'S KICKING THE SHIT OUT OF BOTH ROMAN AND ROLLINS! YES! PLANCHA TO REIGNS! Crazy dive from Rollins! Accidental Brogue Kick to Sheamus and the spear takes him out to give the Shield the win. It also furthered the deal with Roman doing the hard work and Ambrose getting the win. What a glorious 20 minutes this was. Zeb talked about SNEAKING IN to see Vickie and talk about Swagger getting a title shot. Zeb said he'll earn the shot, and Vickie made it an IC Title shot match against Rey, and Kofi, and Henry in a 4-way. Vickie. Said. Every. Thing. Like. This. Giant 8 man tag looks fun.

Nattie wished everyone a happy Valentine's day as the Queen of Harts. Nice Cesaro promo - shame the TONY jacket has a patch on it. Cesaro said that tonight he'll prove that he CAN become champion - HE WILL! A fan held up an ORTON HATES PUPPIES sign and talked about HHH announcing the HOF speech being shown in full on the Network. Lita HOF vid is pretty great - the rana off the top of the ladder onto the floor was crazy. It's hard to believe that an Attitude-era act is already in the HOF. Rey's got a powder blue and black getup on - looks solid. I'm finally used to him working in these tops. WWE is helping to make a playground for New Orleans kids during WM weekend - awesome! Big E, and only E came down to do commentary - his left shoulder looks messed up. Must've been from the Main Event matches. Nice seated sandwich dropkick spot to Henry from Rey and Kofi. Rey is moving super-gingerly on his knee running and just getting up and down. Rey and Kofi are doing great tag team spots. Love the wackiness of Swagger being thrown 3/4 of the way across the RING AND TO THE FLOOR from a headscissors. Rey did the seated senton off the apron to Kofi. Wacky dive tease from Henry was nixed by Swagger. Seated senton off the top rope to Swagger. Wheelbarrow bulldog gets 2. Nice hop onto the second rope into a blind dropkick from Kofi. Kofi took Rey down on the apron and Rey hit knee-first on it. POWERBOMB FROM HENRY to Swagger. Diving Steamboat chop from Kofi. Knee clip from Swagger led to the ankle lock. 619 TO THE GUT OF HENRY! TROUBLE IN PARADISE TO HENRY! A fan yelled DON'T LIKE HIM DO YA LIKE DAT! DOUBLE GERMAN SUPLEX FROM SWAGGER TO REY AND KOFI. This match rules. Rey went to 619 Swagger, but Kofi's kick took him out! Henry yanked Rey OUT OF THE RING TO THE FLOOR BY HIS LEG! Skin the cat from Kofi led to the ankle lock, it was countered into the kick, then another ankle lock. I'd have just kept it at the first one, but whatever - THIS RULED! They showed Rey injured on the floor for a sec, but didn't talk about it. Betty recap is up.

The Betty recap was quite silly, and Nattie's wacky exposition fit in perfectly with their clips of her show. The tea bit got TONS of coverage. They added in burping sound effects to Billy. At least the Usos' awesome splash got a ton of coverage. AN EL GENERICO OLE SHIRT got quite a bit of airtime here. BAD NEWS BARRETT has his third podium setup. It's a giant silver shaft with #BNB on it. He's got some BAD NEWS about Valentine's Day, everyone's going to get fat on chocolate! As the Orton gauntlet neared its end, they FINALLY got around to an awesome win-loss graphic for this whole deal. The JBL and Cole Show involves JBL's "nephew Clem". Goodie. 8-Man is up.

AJ buried Valentine's Day because she's evil. The Ex-Heyman Guys should be billed as We're Losing, Guys! Yet another recap of the Billy-Betty bit. I think the Outlaws are heels in this because they didn't cut a promo and Cole said the Outlaws said that the Usos didn't impress them enough for a shot. Billy working in a shirt looking 98% like the Billy of old means that Sting must be working in a full bodysuit. I wouldn't be opposed to him either teaming with or facing Goldust. Cody's right knee is all sorts of protected. He did Ted's misdirection lariat relatively well, but without the usual fire. Perfect running dropkick from Axel. JBL said that Axel's got the tools, but hasn't quite clicked...yup, pretty accurate. Also, HE'S 33 - "young man" doesn't quite fit him. They hyped up Ryback's Twitter. Ryback would've been a fun character in JCP in the '80s. I'd have loved a feud with him against Jimmy Valiant. JBL talked about how the Outlaws had been around for years, but hadn't clicked until the Outlaws. COLE REFERENCED ROCKABILLY! Maybe Axel can be Axel Rose and join 3MB. VINTAGE BILLY MISSING THE STINGER SPLASH. Billy facially doesn't look his age at all. Shame about the hair though. Great dead man's fall from Ryback off the Uso superkick. Bubba Bomb to Billy. Double assalanche from whichever Uso to the Outlaws. Cody, for some stupid reason, did a rope-to-to top rope double dive off the top to the floor. Meanwhile, Road Dogg took a double superkick, while one Uso dove over the top onto the pile and the other hit a big dive on Dogg for the win! Renee talked to Orton about being 1-2 in this series. Orton, after bitching about the Authority on Raw, and then defending them for whatever reason, loved the Authority for doing this gauntlet. He said Cesaro wasn't a real American. Well, given that he went AWOL on his country, I don't know how Orton can talk.

An anti-smoking ad with a chick RIPPING OFF HER FLESH was aired...that is really not appropriate for this show. Lana and her really hot accent hyped up RUSEV. The shot shifted from his giant beard to Sandow's. Poor fucker gets a jobber intro against DARREN YOUNG of all people. D-Young gets a new theme, and doesn't even get a full intro. Titus gave Cole some Tic-Tacs for Valentine's Day! Glorious. Titus said he came to WWE to be a champ, and he hadn't been one for 731 days thanks to D-Young. Titus put himself over for at least looking at Darren when he kicked his ass, and knocked Darren for not only tearing his $3,500 suit, but also having his five year old nephew cut his hair. But he may not be his nephew, he thinks he adopted him. Titus is beyond great on commentary.

The wacky Bellas WWE Network ad aired. I love them using the original PS3 design for this ad. Cole rattling of WWE NETWORK FACTS amused me. Cole just saying that you get it for $10 a month is deceptive - sure, they show it being with a 6-month commitment, but they should say it as well. Summer Rae, in a long...brown...unflattering dress came down. And it was for Fandango-Miz. OH MY GOD NO! First Titanfall's servers are down, now this! GREAT KHALI WISHING HAPPY VALENTINES DAYS ruled. Miz, a solid heel for...a month I think, has now added a bunch of crowd pointing to his act. Okay, so I think he's a face now. Miz adding wacky pointing to his...seemingly babyface act now, after being a heel for weeks on Raw, is weird. Also weird - a sign declaring Miz to be THE NATURE MAN! Both commentators talking about how each guy in this is trying to get back to their former glory is weird, it's just telling you they're goobers now. An Undertaker chant broke out. Miz really needs a haircut, he looks weird with his hair just flying everywhere. Miz hit the backbreaker>neckbreaker bit to...jawjack to the fans about how he should be on Raw. What!? Then Santino and Emma came down, Summer and Emma had a catfight, Fandango got the cobra, and Miz got the win. THIS SUCKED. Emma's silly faces are just a bit too much - she looks mentally off doing them. Bobo vid re-aired. It's a good vid, but hurt by the footage being from when he was old.

Cesaro's black and white gear/tracksuit ruled. I loved HHH putting Cesaro over...on the video. So odd to not put this stuff on Raw - really, every WWE show other than Raw features at least solid build-up to guys. Cole hyped up HHH making the gauntlet to make Orton grow...what a bizarre about-face for this angle. Nice scramble early-on - Cesaro got a fast 1 off a schoolboy cradle. Orton then did it to him to show that anything you can do, I can do better and got a shade closer to a 2 than Cesaro. I love this just having 1 counts. Without them, a 2 means nothing, and without a 2 meaning anything, a 3 count means less. Nice front chancery takedown after the corner uppercut to get a nearfall from Cesaro. Orton was losing the battle in the ring, but got the edge on the floor before an ad break.  A Radio Shack ad aired with some WWE footage. Toss onto the barricade to Cesaro. Cesaro is playing face here, and doing really well. VINTAGE CHINLOCK from Orton. VINTAGE BABYFACE ELBOWS TO THE BELLY to counter it. Love the uppercut>headbutt chain from Cesaro. ORTON THREW CESARO INTO THE BARRICADE, WHICH FIRED HIM UP AND LED TO A LARIAT ON THE FLOOR! Glorious. 18 REP GIANT SWING! Neutralizer counter into the powerslam fired Orton up. Cesaro is coming off like a megastar on the rise here. Draping DDT to Cesaro led to "HE'S LOOKING AT THE WRESTLEMANIA SIGN, AND THAT'S IMPORTANT!". Hilarious. RKO was countered into an uppercut to the neck, then the very European uppercut to the face for a 2.9! Bonk to Cesaro's head off the ring connector led to the superplex, but Cesaro countered INTO A SUNSET POWERBOMB, AN UPPERCUT, THE NEUTRALIZER AND THE WIN! Zeb and JBL put this over huge, and I clapped after the win. THIS RULED! JBL put it over as a win with no help, no interference, AND THEN CESARO WAVED GOODBYE AT ORTON! He can say goodbye to his title reign. THIS RULED THE WORLD! Seeing Cesaro go from working in a glorified tin toolshed in Manassas, VA to not only getting into WWE, but main eventing TV and BEATING THE WORLD CHAMPION ON Sometimes, wrestling can still be a ton of fun.

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