Thursday, February 27, 2014

TNA Impact 2-27-14

It was hard to turn away from NXT Arrival, but Steph's speech made that easier. Gunner yelled backstage about wanting to find James. DIXIE ISN'T IN ATTENDANCE TONIGHT, and gave matchmaking powers to the heel group. MVP's all-black suit looks awesome. MVP as the top face act in TNA is sure odd to see, but he's excellent in this role. MASSIVE Joe JOE JOE chant here. Joe came down and they recapped how he got a shot - he beat Magnus last month, which I'd forgotten. Magnus rambled on about how England's gone to hell since he left. MVP dared accuse Magnus of TRICKERY to defend his title. Magnus Rules won't be in effect at Lockdown, but Joe's Rules will be. It can only be won via pinfall or submission or KO. MORE. FUCKING. TALKING. Magnus said Joe's a dangerous animal, and he'll put him down. They tried to recreate the Joe-Angle build with the headbutt, but thankfully didn't do a full-on shot. They brawled and MVP told him to save it for the cage. Good stuff. Clips aired of the Wolves winning the tag belts. Roode met with the Bro Mans and said they weren't worthy of being in THE MOST IMPORTANT MATCH IN TNA HISTORY. Unless they won a 3 way tag with Bad Influence and the Wolves.

That 3 way is next. They didn't show intros, which gets around the issue of the Wolves not having the belts when this was taped. Plus, the long break allowed me to catch a nice Adrian Neville hype vid. Great double stretch spot from the Wolves onto BI - great gear on the Wolves too. NXT stream went back. Great dive from Eddie on the floor. Robbie gets the win off the Davey double stomp. EC3's saying words about being THE NEW FACE OF AMERICAN WRESTLING. The flag is a nice touch. Bobby and Aries talked about the title win being a fluke or not, while Roode tried to get him to join his team. This video was way too goddamn blurry. DOUG WILLIAMS came out to face EC3. Go He went from looking old to even older - awesome. EC3 got heat by saying SOCCERRRRRR! Nice shots from Doug, but the 1 percenter takes him out. Goddamn this kneebar is shitty. EC3, play a video game - ANY OF THEM. Please just copy the kneebar in that.

Storm came out and they showed clips of him...helping  Gunner before attacking him...yeah probably should've shown something other than that. Storm said that he planned to turn on him ever since Gunner turned on him in the pole match. Well, that's valid. He said the tag title case was like giving scraps to a dawg AND HE DON'T TAKE SCRAPS FROM NOBODY! Storm said Gunner used him, and never thanked him for it. Somewhat valid point there. Gunner said Storm can drink a beer at home CUZ OF HIM AND HIS PARTNERS IN THE MARINES. This rules. "Whether you lived or died, nobody gave a damn!" This rules! I love these guys as rivals so much more than as a team. Gunner and Storm - okay friends, much much much better enemies.

Rampage and Mo return to Bellator Big show. Gunner said there's only ONE WAY OUT OF THE BUILDING, AND STORM WILL HAVE TO COME THROUGH HIM! Storm should've made sure Gunner drank a ton or something so he'd have to go piss. Magnus cut a promo on Joe and put over Bad Bones. Joe murdered this dude. They hyped up Mo and Rampage, and Rampage 4 Real. MUSCLE BUSTER AND THE CHOKE. THIS RULED!

MVP, in his gear for whatever reason, met with Aries. Austin said he should run for Pres - Austin 2020! MVP wanted Aries on his side, but Aries said that he couldn't trust guys who didn't trust him - MVP made him the ref in his match with Roode tonight. That's a thing now apparently. TNA HOF ceremony for Kurt is up. JB got drowned out for an Angle chant. They had a really great video hyping him up as a game changer who came along once in a lifetime. Angle accepts his jeans. At least he's got a blazer and dress shirt on. They showed Kurt's Rolex. Not shown - the bill for the Rolex they'll take out of Kurt's pay. The TNA Hall of Fame isn't about Kurt Angle. OR EVEN ABOUT TNA WRESTLING. WHAT!? Kurt put himself over for getting clean and having great matches with Roode. He thanked his new wife and kids. IT'S A GREAT NIGHT TO BE KURT ANGLE, GOD BLESS! EC3 dared to interrupt him. THE SUIT ON EC3! Holy God! A glorious pop-up video aired for EC3. EC3's brown slacks clash terribly with everything else he's wearing. EC3 read a giant speech about Angle's career being over at his hands and then he did a wacky booboo face. Angle said he should've gone to him for info, while EC3 said the internet's all the time...well, 50% of the time. They did a little brawl and Angle said MVP gave him a match with ECE in the cage at Lockdown! EC3 was not happy with this...this felt like a step back for EC3 with him super-pussing out. It makes sense for his character, but if Kurt's nearing the end of his time in TNA, then he should be put over stronger here.

Going to Lockdown gets you a party with Spud and DJ Z! Madison and Velvet did the BP intro! According to Taz, through Sabin, ALPHA FEMALE IS THE QUASI MOM to Bad Bones. Alpha Female really needs more flattering gear. Wacky spot with Sabin getting beaten up by Velvet. Heels take out Madison. Big full nelson takes out Velvet. ODB! Sabin saved Alpha Female from the facebuster. Tigre Uno hype vid for Lockdown. Camera guy asks Samuel if last week was a mistake...he helped her. He would do anything to help her... AND HE'S GOING TO TELL EVERYONE WHY!

Shaw's theme is pretty awesome. "WATCHING YOU!" pretty perfect lyrics. He asked Christy to come into the ring, leading to a giant NO chant. He respects her space, but SOME MEN aren't. The fans want ONE THING, but he wants everything... Anderson came out in jeans and a shirt. Anderson's ready for the TNA HOF. Anderson tried to get "creepy bastard" over. Oh good, a mid-card WWE chant from 2002 gets over again! Shaw basically said that Christy was a whore who would be She slapped him and then he used her as a shield. OH NO, IT'S THE DREADED...PARTIAL HUG! A video for Willow the redneck junkie aired. WE LOVE. WE HATE. WE DIE! WILLOW'S WAY! Storm took off his shirt and got ready to fight Gunner outside...I'm sensing a flaw in this plan. Samuel Shaw should send Christy a gift basket from Adam and Eve just to ensure she isn't creeped out by him.

Gunner and Storm brawled in the back of a truck ala No Mercy and swore a bunch. Why the fuck is the injury-prone Storm taking bumps on the street? This was a lot of fun. AL SNOW'S JACKET returns. Gunner swore to God that at Lockdown that Storm was done and Storm replied by saying GOD WILL CUT YOU DOWN! That ruled. Recap of the Park-Abyss saga over the past few weeks. Oh yeah, that. EY SAID HE CALLED ABYSS A FEW TIMES. I hope he's in the phone book as Mr. Abyss. Aries came out in the world's tiniest briefs as the ref. They hyped up Roode possibly getting 10% of the company. Roode, A MAN MAIN EVENTING IMPACT RIGHT NOW, isn't happy with how things are in TNA. MVP got a partial intro.

MVP and Roode did basic holds to start. Taz gave MVP the edge over Roode for..some reason, despite Roode being the longest-reigning TNA World Champion history. Way to make TNA seem secondary. SD mid-card chinlock from Roode! Repeat clothesline in the corner from MVP. Cross chop led to the HHH facebuster and the BALLIN elbow! Perfect plex gets 2! Playmaker countered into a setup for the shining wizard, which led to the RR spinebuster. MVP elbows out of the Roode bomb and botches the Playmaker for 2. Elbow exchange straight out of FPR. Enzuiguri from Roode! Dropkick to the knee by MVP. Shining Wizard was setup perfectly, BUT ARIES HIT THE ROLLING ELBOW and then the Roode bomb hit for 3. Second heel turn via strike in as many weeks. Good elbow though. MVP HAS NO ONE LEFT AND THERE'S ONLY 10 DAYS TO GO UNTIL THE PPV!
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