On Raw, CENA FACES ORTON. And Betty White will be there too - I'm not sure which of those things seems more old. Then they re-ran the exact same video again. Jobber intro for the faces. THE ARCHITECT joined them on commentary. Sadly, he didn't have any blue prints. Recap of the Raw deal with Ambrose stealing the win. Seth talked about it, and then Cole just rattled off other words without responding to anything he said. AMBROSE HAS BEEN DESCRIBED AS THE LUNATIC FRINGE, and he did a little Michael Jackson shuffle to change direction for a stomp. Hearstropper elbow got 2. Power Drive elbow got 2 from Ambrose. Cole rattled off how Roman demolished three dudes at the Survivor Series, and 12 guys in the Rumble - including his other Shield brethren. Nice stun gun from Ambrose set up the flying apron dropkick from Reigns. Ad break. Kofi made a comeback and Dolph jumped around on the apron like an antsy child. Dolph tried to out-speed Masato Yoshino with a crossbody. SLOW. THE FUCK DOWN. Nine billion punches in the corner to Roman. Fameasser got countered into the Protobomb. Ambrose went for a blind tag again, but got pulled off the apron, leading to the leaping DDT for 2. Superman Punch to Dolph led to the big spear - he tagged Ambrose in for the win here. The Wyatts cut a promo on the tron - they went bugless for this, making it look even cooler. Bray cut a glorious subdued promo about the Shield trying to show their teeth, and they'll eventually see the monster behind his eyes. Sheamus-Ryback is next.
When the network launches, you'll be able to watch every WM in history...so it's a good time to sell the WM Anthology set. Ryback got a jobber intro, and they recapped their promo exchanges on the app. Ryback said that Sheamus's boots were steel-toed - AWESOME. JBL saying "Axe l ook Sheamus to the limit" doesn't do Sheamus any favors. Sheamus was a bully and kicked Axel. I love JBL correcting Cole on the proper use of action versus actions. Ryback got a big splash for 2. That should just be Big E's move, because he does it way way way better. SUPERFLY DIVE BY RYBACK missed. Looked awesome too. Tilt a whirl powerslam led to the Brogue Kick, which was countered into a powerbomb for 2. That should've been a PPV match - actually, this should've been one. Meathook was countered into the Brogue Kick for the win. THIS RULED! Cole talked about Orton being forced into this gauntlet...is it really a gauntlet? He gets plenty of time to prepare for them. The behind the neck shots of HHH in the clip of the Cole interview make it look gigantic. Cole then exposited to HHH about the Cena-Orton match being from the Staples Center on Raw this Monday...that was odd. "Before he faces Cena, ORTON HAS TO FACE AN OLD RIVAL!" - because Orton-Cena is so fresh.
Legends House hype vid - bunch of old dudes playing strippers...um, who's the target market for this? IT WILL BE A LEGENDARY SERIES. SMILIN COLE talked about the WWE Network being an incredible value! Renee welcomed her guest at this time, Alberto. She started the interview showing clips...this format is so bizarre. I left to grab a drink and missed whatever he said. Oh well - I'll just assume it involved Batista being a perro and it being Alberto's destiny to beat him. YAY CESARO-BRYAN IS NEXT! But first, Henry hype! JBL said that Bryan looked like a puppy. I loved them bringing back the Benoit bridge>monkey flip spot. Cesaro did a low-legged lift into a spinebuster...God he's awesome. Bryan locked on a short-arm scissors - possibly the first one on WWE TV in 2014. BACKLUND LIFT FROM CESARO! JBL said that Cesaro was the greatest import since the Beatles, leading to Cole saying that he's said the same thing about Alberto. Yes Lock was countered into a super-fast tilt a whirl backbreaker for an ad break. Bryan's dive was countered, then Bryan got the lead with a flying dropkick...UNTIL THE VERY EUROPEAN UPPERCUT nixed that plan. I'd have countered that particular move with a Giant Swing, but whatever - still cool. Giant Swing was teased, then turned into an iffy small package for 2 before Bryan debuted the La Mistica Yes Lock for the win! Mr. Kane then came down, so this match really didn't seem important. At least it led to Cesaro hitting the Neutralizer to Bryan. A fan held up a PHIL BROOKS sign, and another one held up a Punk 3:16 earlier. Chokeslam to Bryan. Renee interviewed Orton about what his thoughts were of facing everyone in the Chamber beforehand...I'm sure he's pleased as punch about it. Orton, the fiery babyface, vowed to defeat everyone the executives have put in front of him to try and end his title reign. AJ came down to face Nikki.
They hyped up Black History Month with a fancy video opening that wasn't on Raw, leading to the Ladd video replaying despite Cole saying it would be "the next legend". Whatever - the vid rules. The video got a nice reaction. A new Rusev video aired. THEN, after all of this, Nikki made her entrance. Brie refused to shut up on the floor, just yelling "COME ON, NIKKI! COME ON, NIKKI!" a million times. Sleeper by AJ. SHUT UP, BRIE! Jesus. Snapmare facebuster to the knee from Nikki led to that ending thank God, only to be replaced by GOOD JOB, NIKKI! Nikki tossed AJ into Brie, which led to AJ kicking the rope into her face and winning with the Black Widow. AJ was really flexible here...PTPs breakup replay. Titus's attack had some flavor to it - all of that was lacking on Raw. This would be an okay deal if the brands were separate and he was just going to try and win the SD mid-card belt. Titus arrogantly interviewed Renee. Titus was glorious here being a cocky prick. OH, NATURE! Titus was attacked by Darren, like a coward. That part sucked - but there's something to Titus now, that sadly won't go where it could due to timing. He'd be a great B-level PPV main eventer with this act against Cena - like with the Truth push out of nowhere, but it's not going to work before Mania.
OH THANK GOD, MORE RECAPPING. At least this covered Cody's stupid cage moonsault where he did the move and then got beat. Honestly, it would've been better to just do it off the top rope and look like slightly less of an idiot. Goldust got a jobber intro against Bray. Goldust's Darth Dust paint rules. Wyatts teleported to the ring. Bray missed the corner bodyblock, but Bray did the spider walk bit before Goldust could strike - nice! Good falling headbutt from Bray to a fallen Goldust, NERVE HOLD done after that, but it fortunately didn't last too long. Corner elbow from Goldust hit nicely. JBL referenced Ozzy biting the head off a bat in Des Moines, while Cole buried it as the city where Cody was fired in September. Double A spinebuster from Goldust led to the flipping dive off the apron. It's now called Rolling Goldy. Sister Abigail hit for the win. Cody ran in to protect Goldust, and seemed a bit like Robin scampering to protect Batman. It made sense, sure, but he came off like such a dork. BAD-ASS MEN IN SWAT GEAR cut a promo on the Wyatts. Ambrose is doing a great job selling this as a big deal, and Seth was more intense than usual - citing them being taken out of a Chamber match due to them. Loved Ambrose's eyes staring a hole through Reigns when he said one of them would've become WWE World Champion. This ruled. Christian-Orton have their nine billionth match in two years next!
BUT FIRST, we get the third airing of the Orton-Cena hype video. Well, at least it's not twice in one break again. Cole said Orton would LOVE a win tonight...why? Kofi got one and it seemed to hurt his career. Orton regained control and stomped Christian to bits. JBL said that Orton DID SOMETHING 50 YEARS IN THE MAKING by unifying the WWE and World Titles...so the World Title has the NWA World Title's lineage this week. Christian got some offense - I dug the shot of his gear matching the WM XXX sign before the crossbody for 2. Flying elbow/uppercut deal got 2. Christian's clapping actually got a big reaction, but led to a powerslam. A nice shoulder ringpost toss led to the draping DDT being teased, which led to the jumping Bossman uppercut bit. Orton punched him in the gut for the draping DDT. RKO countered into the backslide, which led to the usual leap into the RKO that has seemingly ended 99% of their matches.
Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/r5bw2lfkjchbvb154roauee3im7ug7o8
Ambrose is a Cincinnati guy like me and the local rock station WEBN has always used the "Lunatic Fringe" moniker so kind of cool he's having them get that out there.
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