Wednesday, December 3, 2014

TNA Impact 12-3-14 - Best of 2014

I didn't watch the whole show last week - I just skimmed through the first part that TNA put up early all fucked up of the BEST OF THE TURKEY BOWL because why the fuck would I watch all of that again? It was bad enough the first time, although Pilgrim Kurt THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION was hilarious.

Show opens with highlights of the year - including MVP's debut, EY winning the title, Magnus winning, the whole Dixie Land deal, and Lashley's killing spree. Okay, so the show could really just be over by 9:01. JB and Christy talk about things. We'll see Bully-EC3 from Slammiversary and the ladder match from that show. Storm-Gunner, Hardy-Lashley, and Angle-Roode from Genesis is up first.  A quick graphic shows the setting and time and we get the match, but no intros.This is joined in progress and that's really disappointing.

Hardy talks to Sting about leaving and not ever returning, then they recap Magnus winning and leading to that decision - how odd to show that in reverse order. It's amazing how much more passionate the crowd was in early 2014. AJ cuts a promo on Magnus setting up their unification match. AJ-Magnus is also on tap and will apparently be clipped as well. Impact Wrestling Presented by Coliseum Video doesn't work for me.

Christy and JB talk about the setup - I'd much rather see it rather than hear them blather on. We get clips of stalling beginning, clips of it ending, clips of run-ins from Spud and EC3. Sting runs in...goddamn this is an annoying match and it's even worse in this format. Clips lead Bad Influence in and we get EARL HEBNER ARGUING IN FULL. Dixie threatens Brian Hebner's job while dressed like a Pepto Bismol bottle, BI takes out AJ, and they show lower-third graphics for Dixie's Twitter, ShopTNA, but nothing on the move to Destination America. AJ comes back from the bullshit, gets the calf slicer, the Clash, more bullshit happens and Magnus wins thanks to every heel on the roster and Bobby Roode hitting his finish. God did Magnus look like such a chump here.
JB talks about Magnus being champ, AJ being gone, and THE DEBUT OF WILLOW! Oh fucking hell, of all things to show during your last weeks on Spike, THIS!? THIS IS WHAT YOU CHOOSE!? EC3 highlights! YAY! Angle-EC3 from 5-3-14 is up. EC3 takes the knee out, cradles him and wins. Storm and Gunner in a garbage match is up next. Ugh.

They pimp Victory Road on PPV on 12-5 and recap Storm and Gunner's saga. Gunner-heavy stuff actually works well since they're focusing on his dad, who put his kid over strong in interviews. Storm KOing the dad is shown and then it's TO THE MATCH! They fight, and fight, and fight and fight and fight - it's the Stormy and Gunner show! Clip after the mid-table spear lead to the bottle coming out. Honestly - HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SCREW UP A BEST OF SHOW!? TNA has somehow found a way to do that. They've got two hours to fill with archived content - just show everything in full and focus on fewer things. JB and Christy talk about MVP and we get clips of The Reign of Magnus. Why not show all of this chronologically? Everything's bouncing around. Now it's the end of Lethal Lockdown with emo Bully coming out as the surprise. I forgot how funny Willow's little Warlord outfit was. Bully turns on Magnus and MVP wins with the drive by.
We return to a recap of the recap of Bully turning on Magnus. EC3 spinebusters Bully through a table and we get clips of Slammiversary in video package form. The whole presentation of this show is baffling. Now we go from a video package recap of Slammiversary to clips of Slammiversary's match as it happened. Become a TNA-Lister by blocking 1/3 of the entire screen with a graphic. Bully bonks Joker Spud with a kendo stick after more JIP stuff. Dixie shoves Bully off the top through a set of tables on the floor. Next, EY's title run is recapped.

EY-Magnus is shown in video package form.  We get EC3 defending against Abyss, Roode, Kenny King in a video package until a recap clip airs of the Slammiversary elbow off the top of the cage to Lashley. Lashley goes out and they plug ShopTNA. Great slingshot suplex into the piledriver finish from EY here - and Aries took a flip bump for it too. Since this was Slammiversary, they should just put the whole Kevin Von Erich thing on here too.

We get some new content with Manik and Sheera working in the ring. Sheera takes him down and Storm claps in approval. I like that they're continuing the narrative of the show, but they should've said they're doing that in advance. Storm puts over Sheera as someone Kurt found, that Manik feels has potential, but Storm isn't convinced he's the future - but Storm can offer him a future that allows him to provide for himself, his family, and girlfriend. Storm jumps him for an initiation. AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT as Angelina returns and we get the BP saga with Madison. Madison-Love is up from Sacrifice. It's JIP and we get a crossbody to the floor, then Love gets a pump kick for 2. Velvet distracts the ref with her ass, sprays Rayne's eyes and Love wins with a schoolgirl. Slammiversary X Title ladder match is up. Wacky Wolves bullshit sets up a German on a ladder from Davey to Uno. Ladder sunset bomb from Manik to Davey on the ladder.

Manik and Storm drag Sheera into a room and Storm tells Manik to feed him and give him enough water to survive before giving him...something. Maybe money. Manik tells the camera man it will be okay.  YAY VON ERICH STUFF IS COMING NEXT! They do a goofy Christmas skit with the Revolution by dubbing Storm being an asshole. A very awkward JIP bit with Tenay in mid-sentence shows the end of Von Erich tag, then Kevin runs wild and we get one last Von Erich claw in Texas. That was great, and completely undercut by them just doing it and not giving you any context to it.
 We get clips of MVP setting up EY-Lashley and then the match. Back and forth punches set up a ShopTNA plug. Lashley wins via spear of death. Roode and EY beat up MVP's crew at a party and Angle is made GM. Jeff faces EY for a shot, wins, and then gets to be killed by THE DESTROYER! At 10:50, they FINALLY MENTION DESTINATION AMERICA and get the logo shown too. We're JIP from intros to the "during the break" thing. Oh God. Twisto>Swanton mid-ring. Stair swanton misses. Spear kills Hardy and that's it. Next week will show the tag series, Lashley-Roode, and the Dixie-Bully powerbomb. Impact actually goes off the air early - wow. They did not do a good job with this show at all beyond the new Revolution stuff.

Screen Gallery -


  1. Haven't organized them yet - got a big Hardcore Gamer project to work on, but I'll put some up later.

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