Monday, December 22, 2014

WWE Raw 12-22-14

Tonight's show is going to be a struggle - not just due to the usual slog of Raw, but also due to me finally getting a solid sleep schedule going. I've been going to sleep at about 11 PM the last few nights, and it's been fantastic! Raw gets a Christmas set and we get Rusev in Piper's Pit, while Show faces Rusev. Bray-Ambrose happens again in a MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET FIGHT. Jesus Christ. Ho-ho-Hogan is out. KING'S SWEATER! Hogan ran down the card, then Cena ran down and sang "Let it Go" from Frozen. Recap of Brock attacking Cena. A giant WE WANT LESNAR chant broke out here in MN, when he of course isn't there. Cena says he lost fair and square, so boy did that match mean nothing. Seth comes out to exchange words, but he really puts himself over as the future who is better than both Cena and Hogan. Great bit with the Authority - "They are sitting home, they are depressed, because they are watching this show every week!" Ha! Seth-Cena starts the show.

Basic stuff to start, then the goons distract Cena so Seth kicks away. Blockbuster gets 2. Cena gets a dropkick, but Seth comes back and gets 2 off a kneedrop. Seth gets the post-break chinlock and then a suicide dive. Kneeling superkick gets 2. Skywalker countered into the protobomb. Pop-up enzuiguri gets 2 for Seth. Batista bomb gets 2. Seth gets tossed onto the goons. Flying legdrop gets 2 for Cena. Cena's corner punches lead to a sunset buckle bomb for 2. Seth goes for the stomp, but Cena gets the STF. Goons come in and eat a double AA. Seth tries to use the case, Cena gets the AA and wins. Case? Not a DQ. TWO MEN? NOT A DQ. Odd, but this was fine - can't really say I cared much about it though.

Kane went bah humbug. Fandango-Swagger. Wow. FANDANGO gets part of an intro, but Swagger doesn't. Yup - have these two fuckers follow THE TOP TWO REGULAR ACTS IN THE COMPANY. This can't fail. They do stuff and Fandango wins. Dolph-Harper for the IC Title later. A Generic Brunette Man met with his guest at this time Dolph Ziggler. New Day, they're already here and losing. Rose is out and the Bunny still has the brace. Cole says it's due to Raw, then he's reminded about SD. Then he's reminded that SD was on Tuesday. Rose faces Truth. Truth gets a cradle for the win. Oh my God, these men traveled on a plane for this. Rose spinebusters and stomps the Bunny. We are literally right back where we started months ago with this. Crowd chants ONE MORE TIME for the Bunny attack. Piper's Pit is next.

Or not. It's Big Show, and it's snowing. Nope, match time. They set this up with a recap of as Cole says "Roman Reigns WAS ABOUT TO TALK!" So within about an hour or so, we're getting Seth-Cena and Show-Reigns - why keep watching? Press hot shot and shoulderblock gets 2 for Show. Boring chant breaks out. Superman punch on the floor sends Show over the table and we get a countout. Wow. Renee meets with her guest at this time, Dean Ambrose. Dean wants Bray for Christmas. He still has something. He's getting killed with this booking, but he can be saved simply due to being so great.

Bryan and Brie getting some sports couple award gets coverage. Brie's out with Nikki. What in the flying fuck is Brie's getup supposed to be? King talks about how things don't always work out when you've got a significant other in the same profession leading to Cole saying King knows about that. She's facing Nattie, gets the knee a couple of times, but only gets 2. JBL puts over Nattie being A STAMPEDE WOMEN'S CHAMPION! Nattie gets a cradle and a win. Tyson's new FACT shirt is so great. Nikki gets shoved off the apron and Cole talks about the shin injury which cost her A GOOD PART OF HER CAREER. Like 3 months. THE ASCENSION is doomed.
 Stardust cuts an angry promo on Rudolph. Matadores are out with the bull with reindeer antlers. It's 2 and 1/2 on 2. Cole and his CONSTANT reminders of the right words to use for the commentators can fuck off. He's particular about the bull's name, but it's okay to call him a midget bull in nearly 2015. Backstabbber and the bull pins Goldust. This is not the lowest point for him - he was once Black Reign in a barb wire Christmas tree match. Harper likes to take things away and he's gonna give himself a present - da IC Title and HE GONNA HURT YA BOY! Dolph's out and their match is next.

Harper jumps Dolph during the intros. Dolph gets slammed on the floor and the ref goes for a stoppage tease. Superkick hits followed by a powerbomb for 2 for Harper. Harper dominates for a break. Wheelbarrow facebuster into the table. Dolph gets a dropkick, but Harper avoids another and gets 2. Michinoku driver gets 2 for Harper. King is amazed by what that move is and how he's learned it - despite seeing him do it a ton. Flash cradle gets 2 for Dolph. Discus lariat is met with a superkick BUT HE STILL HITS THE LARIAT FOR 2! Fameasser gets 2. TWO SUPERKICKS lead to the Zig Zag and the win! This was damn good and well worth a rewatch later. King and his horrible sweater talk to Dolph after the match. Piper's pit is next.

Piper's out and wishes us a ROWDY ROWDY HOLIDAY TIME! LANE-A AND RUSOV are out. Lana talks about Christmas-time bullshit causing people to be phony and kids being ungrateful little shits too. Lana cues up Rusev-Ryback stuff from SD. Piper calls them COMMUNIST SCROOGES! Ryback came out with a bow on his chest. Okay then. Big guys brawl, Roddy holds Ryback's hand high. King and Cole put over how amazing USA is and how it's the number 1 network thanks to Raw and the other stuff too.

6-divas tag is up. Paige has some nice booty shorts, bah humbug on her jacket, and hohoho on her hat. Emma whips her hair at Summer and the crowd chants ROMAN SUCKS. Cameron gets a codebreaker and 2. King talks about Paige dressing like Xanta Klaus. Faces win. EVACUATE OR RIDE THE LIGHTNING! Ascension debuts on Raw next week. Mizes are out with Miz facing someone. Miz and his new feathered hair sing, but cut Mizdow off in the inset promo. It's Miz-Jey. Mizes do comedy for a bit. Jey gets 2 off a distraction schoolboy. Wacky Miz bumps. Miz misses a knee to the gut by a mile that is sold. Miz wins via O'Connor roll with the tights, and I guess he pulled too hard because they cut to black. Monday Night War Foley ep clip airs.

Bray comes out and sings. Gets whatted. Poor Bray What. Dean's out for a break. WWE'S ALL ABOUT PUTTING SMILES ON FACES! So here's another spousal abuse PSA. Bray's sent into the tree and gets a present smashed on him. More stuff with the tree. Can you believe these guys aren't getting over as main event acts? It's astonishing. Dean gets a monitor BUT HE UNPLUGS IT NOW! Suicide dive into the gifts. Ambrose gets tossed through a table on the ramp. MIDMATCH CHINLOCK from Bray. LONG one too. Bray gets the bodyblock. Crowd chants for ONE MORE TREE, so Bray tosses Dean into it. Singapore candy cane shots from Bray Wyatt...really now? They go to redo the pencil trick spot from the PPV here on the Christmas show. Big lariat hits for 2. Dean gets a flying chair elbow for 2. Bray gets a uranage on a corner ladder for 2. Bray uses the pencil trick stick to take out Dean and win. Wow, what a loser Dean is. He elbows him through the table to close the show.

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