Sunday, October 9, 2016

WWE No Mercy 2016

The main event is actually set to start the show - so they'd better have this card really solid or it's going to drag horribly.I love the little pop-up graphics for the panel - LITA accomplished more than Jerry Lawler, apparently. Curt Hawkins has his own voiceover guy now - so he's already more of a store than most because he simply IS DIFFERENT SOMEHOW. Hawkins says he's here in the ring - so he's delivered what he promised and gets more pyro.

 This is easily the peak of Hawkins's career. Sirens blare and Hawkins says that on SD, he'll have his very first match. You've gotta be shitting me. They're delivering the main event first - no one is sticking around for this whole thing. Bryan and Shane meet with Alexa and tell her that she'll get a shot on November 8, but she'll wrestle tonight. Lots of padding with video packages. American Alpha and the Hype Bros are out to face 2 SD heels teams. American Alpha is beneath Swagger on this card. Dafuq!? The new set really does work well for the Vaudevillains. Shame they're doomed on the main roster. AA squashes the Villains after the Ascension does basic heel big man stuff for a while. Nothing match.

The opening video showcases Bray vs. Orton, the triple threat, the IC Title, and the now non-existent women's title match. AJ looks like a member of the Wolves with his new gear. Strangely, everyone comes out and then we get a video package for the match. Now the bitter rivals are just standing there like goobers even longer for ring intros. 

Dean starts off with a nice basement dropkick that sends AJ to the floor. Stunner-style TKO gets 2 for John, but he eats the Pele! Super AA is countered into a rack powebromb for 2! Cena hits his comeback spots, but Dean prevents the fistdrop. Dean and AJ take each other out and the sheer look of joy on John's face to hit a double fistdrop is great. He hits it and then hit each with AAs that get 2. Cena has finally learned how to make the STF look good! AJ SUPLEXING CENA ON THE APRON! Perfect springboard 450 gets 2. 2 COLD SCORPIO NAMEDROP BY MAURO! Love this guy. AJ hits Dean with the Clash, but gets locked in the STF while down!

Dean holds AJ's hand up to prevent a tap and attacks Cena. Double AA is teased, but AJ flips out of it and hits a kick before Dean uses that to get out and hit AJ with a wacky lariat. Running Ligerbomb by Cena gets 2. Cena goes for an AA, but AJ turns it into a calf crusher. AMBROSE DOES THE CRUSHER ON AJ! Cena then locks AJ in the STF and AJ TAPS! AJ loses via a 2-on-1 attack...wouldn't that kind of make him a pseudo babyface? The ref restarts since no one person won. AJ pulls the ref out to prevent a Dirty Deeds win. Avalanche AA hits Dean, but AJ chairshots Cena to win! This ruled!

Bray-Orton hype video.  Nikki comes out in tiny booty shorts to faux-flash the crowd. #womensrevolution. Otunga says that Carmella shouldn't have tried to leapfrog folks. David Otunga ranting about someone getting undeserved chances amuses me greatly. Carmella avoids the TKO, but eats a Bella Buster - getting a WOW from JBL. Nikki hits the forearm, avoids the Code of Silence and goes for the Alabama Slam, but Carmella rolls through and gets it again, but Nikki gets the ropes. Rack Attack 2.0 wins. Miz insults Bryan and Dolph backstage. Miz demands another contract renegotiation after Dolph is retired and frees up some funds.
Komen ad with Titus doing some awful voiceover work.Rhyno plays face in peril, but Heath gets the hot tag and a superkick for 2! AVALANCHE POWERSLAM BY HEATH GETS 2! Jimmy gets a superkick and the Uso knee clip hits, but Rhyno gores Jimmy on the floor. Rhyno also takes out Jey mid-ring before Heath tags him in! GORE WINS IT!

Bray speaks Latin and no one cares. Swagger comes out with new, shittier gear - just what he needed. A boring chant breaks out. Swagger gets the ankle lock, so Baron uses the ring skirt to distract the ref, pokes the eyes and wins with the End of Days. Miz-Dolph feud recap. Miz does Bryan's moves and Mauro talks about how this should all be about Dolph and not Bryan. JBL buries Dolph's standup. Figure four almost gets it, but Dolph gets the ropes. Miz undoes the buckle while Maryse stands on the apron to distract the ref. Miz hits the slingshot powerbomb for 2!

Ultimo Dragon at WW 3 '96 still has the best slingshot powerbomb I've ever seen. Shocked that move hasn't been in a game yet for Batista. Dolph locks on a sleeper, but Miz gets the ropes. Maryse uses the spray and the Finale only gets 2! A surprisingly big YES chant breaks out. KENNY AND MIKEY COME OUT! Superkicks take them out and a Finale gets 2! Ref kicks all of Miz's cohorts from ringside! DOLPH SUPERKICKS MIZ TO WIN! This really should've gone on last.
Alexa comes out and Naomi is the replacement. Naomi really shouldn't win and stunt Alexa's momentum, but she's the replacement - so she'll win. They have a pretty nothing match that Naomi wins by countering a cross armbar into a cradle for the win. In-canon, Raw and SD are at war, yet we get a big plug for the Raw show along with a recap of the feuds. RKO tease to start. Lots of brawling. Long chinlock by Bray, but Orton fights out. Harper returns and Orton eats a Sister Abigail and loses. Harper and Bray get this stunning shot of their reunion - well, Harper's return did get a pop and he's a great guy, so this was enjoyable.

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