Monday, May 27, 2013

Raw 5-27-13

Very classy Memorial Day tribute video opened the show. Cena will officially start the show...after a recap of last week's events that also aired on SD. So since nothing on SD was covered here, I suppose it's safe to say nothing on it matters. Cena came out in his FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD while Cole talked about Cena loving the military. Digging the MAKE AMBROSE WWE CHAMP sign. Cena exposited a whole lot, and brought up how Ryback thought he should be champion. Despite that, he didn't feel the need to mention that WHILE CUTTING A PROMO ON TOP OF AN AMBULANCE last week. This crap led to a huge WE WANT BRET chant. Cena insulted Ryback, called him an idiot in so many words, and now the ambulance match is a 3 STAGES OF HELL MATCH! Stage 1 is a lumberjack match - a match they've killed. Cena begged for a we want tables chant and got it so he could make a TABLES MATCH. Stage 3 is an ambulance match. Wow. Cena's "HE'S GONNA DRIVE YA STRAIGHT TO GET MEDICAL ATTENTION." line was amazing. Ryback called himself "Lucifor", also Satan. I'd have preferred Hercule. Heyman came out and introduced Axel, who has a redone theme already. Heyman wanted to make Cena-Axel. Can Cena kick the ass of a man a concussed HHH could beat up last week!? Axel took the mic and yikes, he's not good at promos. Cena's good, but can be annoying - he was annoying here. Oh, and Axel beat HHH. They just didn't say how. Alberto-Langston III is up, and hyped it with clips of their ME match.

JBL talked about Big E saying he should be the top contender. Big E did a crazy Warrior press slam to Alberto ON THE STEPS. Wild spot. They hyped up THE APP by...showing the match and also Dolph cutting a promo that they cut off terribly. Cole said it was odd for the Canadian fans to chant Si. How is it any stranger for Canadians to chant Si than Americans? So after showing the clip of Alberto beating Big E with a schoolboy on ME, they did THE EXACT SAME FINISH HERE, only with a slam into the buckle first to set up AJ and Big E friction. Tag title AND US Title rematches are up tonight, and Cole said the tag title one might be harder now. How? A tornado match has more chaos than a regular one. So we've had one rematch and two more (at least) to come. Wow.

Bryan and Kane did a wacky sit before Bret just showed up...when the camera moved to the right and he gave advice in a wacky powder blue shirt. Loved seeing Bret and Bryan together since they haven't been on-screen since Summerslam '10. Ambrose came out for his re-rematch with Kofi. I forgot that they had a rematch on SD that was turned into a traditional HOLLA HOLLA 6-MAN TAG PLAYA! Cole called this a huge night for Kofi. Yup, could become a 99-time meaningless singles champ. They did some stuff, but went to another ad break to kill some time after the fake out head-rope spot. During the break, ON THE WWE APP did a stun gun. They showed this minutes after coming back with Ambrose doing a straightjacket choke and a sweet snap elbow. Reminded me of Waltman's snap legdrop mixed with Muta's elbow. We saw Orton and Sheamus watching the screen ON THE APP. They did an outstanding finishing deal with a trip up slamming Kofi's face on the steps before the headlock driver, which got a JUSTICE yell before hand.

Tag champs came out to lead to a seamless tag title match. This was a lot like an ECW PPV. NATURAL BORN KILLAZ FROM HELL! Tag title match officially began ON THE APP. Great exchange between JBL and King on cliches. ON THE APP, the PTPs are upset to not be the top contenders. This tag match rules. Tons of great action, inclduing HEADBANGING BEFORE THE CORNER DROPKICK, a huge German suplex, and they chose a HUGE back suplex off the top to go to a break with. Seth did Bryan's surfboard on him to mock him. Bryan landed RIGHT ON HIS HEAD for a giant shoulderblock from Reigns. Kane got a great hot tag, while Bryan kicked tons of ass on the ground, leading to some aruing and a flying knee from Rolilns beating Kane. There was also a tremendous spear from Reigns off of the flying knee from Bryan on the floor. JBL called this deja vu, and Cole talked about Cena opening up Raw - tremendous. HHH health update is up next.

They showed clips FROM THE APP last week after the show, and credited Brock's sledgehammer shot on the PPV for the injury. Axel literally DID NO DAMAGE TO HHH according to the doctors during his match and HHH could be medically cleared by next week. Miz came out to be as Cole said, "something", because he could be either an announcer, commentator, or ref. Miz will be a ref for Fandango-Barrett. King found it odd that CANADIANS WOULD DO THE FANDANGO! Cole referenced Miz being the Calgary Kid - when everyone thought it had to be Lance Storm due to the red trunks. Miz got shoved, so he hit Barrett with his finisher to give Fandango the win, then he kicked Fanango to have Summer pin him. HBK with a giant, bushy salt and pepper beard made him look way older.

Tons of Funk and Khali face 3MB. They showed Nattie's birthday being interrupted, and spent much of the match talking about the networks Raw is on. Faces won and Khali sang something close to Happy Birthday. I wonder if the owners of the Happy Birthday song will sue over that. They showed a Cena video dedicated to Memorial day. Don't forget what the holiday is really about - WWE bringing up how great they are. AND DON'T FORGET ABOUT HOW MUCH WWE AND JOHN CENA LOVE THE MILITARY! Jericho came out for the Highlight Reel back in Calgary. Heyman said he gave Jericho his first big I guess the Thrillseekers didn't happen. Great wacky Olympic girl look from Jericho there. Love Heyman saying he's waived his normal fee to be on this show to make up for not paying Jericho. Jericho brought up his other client, which led Heyman to talk about BROCK LESSSSNNNAR, THE ONLY NCAA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...but he meant Punk. I loved them setting up Punk feeling forgotten and used by Paul here. Also loved them pointing out that Heyman wears the same suit, and Jericho was tremendous with his blah blah blah bit. Jericho challenged Punk to a match at Payback, which should be quite good. I was kind of hoping they'd do Jericho-Ambrose, but this should be awesome too. I'm amused by this feud partially involving Jericho being upset about someone taking a break. Jericho-Punk was made for the PPV. Interesting, since he'll be cheered a ton. Great segment, but it went on a long time.

Kaitlyn's new, more revealing gear rules. She's teaming with Nattie to face the Bellas. Big Happy Birthday chant here. A Bella did a rope choke to Kaitlyn using her ass. That's new. Nattie lost after Katilyn accidentally speared him, and the Bellas laughed while singing happy birthday to her. Bret met with Axel, who was in gym shorts for some reason after already being in his full gear. Celtic Vipers face the Rhodes Scholars for some reason next. Awesome Bray Wyatt Family vid aired. Their theme is amazing and the vid was creepy. Loved JBL talking about poor Bob Orton Jr's arm never healing. They talked about Cody's tan resembling Sheamus's hair, and JBL asked for the doctor when King just stopped talking for a while. Tremendous disaster kick during the white noise. Brogue kick got the win. Loved the disaster kick spot. Rest of it was just a match. Kinda liked them setting this team up for the Shield, even though they still feel like a makeshift unit. Axel-Cena is up next.

Orton will face Ambrose in a TITLE-FREE MATCH on SD. Should be pretty awesome since it'll either lead to a good singles match, or some kind of HOLLA HOLLA tag. Axel came out doing the Brock/Rock jog in place and Lashley's arm-stretching pose on the ramp. Loved Cole bringing up RVD, while JBL talked about Tommy Rich, and that led to King referencing the head shaving deal with he and Austin Idol. Match went to a break after a few minutes. Axel took Cena's knee out ON THE APP. Bray Wyatt was apparently trending worldwide - even without them saying his name before. That bodes well for him. Loved the fan in a bright red shirt behind Heyman doing Khali's dance. Axel locked in an armbar for a long time. VINTAGE BRET elbow from Axel, led to his taunt, then a missed Bret elbow. Perfect plex countered into the STF, then a Perfect plex. AWESOME missed Stinger splash from Axel led to a clothesline. Sirens blared and brought out Ryback and not Scott Steiner. Cena opened the front door and got counted out as a result. Hell of a win for Axel. At least it's an actual win on TV instead of being turned into one after the fact. They tried to recreate the PPV, but it was countered, and Ryback shoved Cena off the stage. Why they'd do that when Cena's so injury-prone, I have no idea. And then Cole admitted they all just forgot about Axel.

Screens -
Full Gallery

No comments:

Post a Comment