Friday, May 10, 2013

SD 5-10-13

Swagger's murdering of everyone from Raw, and AJ's ass, were highlights of the show-opening video. Jericho doing a Highlight Reel with Ryback seems odd, largely because Ryback really shouldn't be in talk show segments. I think his shirt and jeans were two sizes too big for him, and they should take out "Feed Me More" from his theme if they want to stop it from being chanted. Jericho's leather jacket looks ridiculous, but not quite as nutty as HHH's leather shirt - Ryback definitely wins the leather jacket war, although all of these jackets remind me of the early 2010 TNA shows where everyone was covering up as much as possible. Ryback's responses to Jericho sounded silly. Then they just talked and talked and said words for a while before they got into a minor interruption, leading to Teddy coming out to make a NOT HOLLA HOLLA TAG!? Instead, he made a one on one match. I'm shocked. I liked Ryback's punch to Jericho - looked solid. Mark Henry BREAKING A WORLD RECORD gets no hype beyond a little graphic. Well, that all ate up 12 minutes of airtime.

I loved them talking about Cody trying to not only win the US Title at some point, but improve its status like he did the IC Title...which wound up doing no real good - much like when Wade held it the first time and had the same goal. Disaster Kick was countered in the TIP for a quick win. This was like a fast forwarded version of a good 10-15 minute match. The terrifying music playing over such actions as BROCK LESNAR PRESSING AN ELEVATOR BUTTON ruled. Cole using the phrase IT HAS BEEN DUBBED A WORKPLACE INVASION a billion times before and after the video sucked, but that skit was amazing - one of Brock's funniest things ever. Brock-HHH III seems really downplayed compared to WM, perhaps due to HHH seemingly losing it. Brock and HHH WILL BE FACE TO FACE on Raw...why? Anything they'll do there could probably be re-played with clips from their WM match. They nixed Zeb's affirmative action line, but kept in everything else he said that ruled, and added to the comedy of Swagger just saying one thing. AJ's pink and black getup rules. Big E needs his old theme back - his current one sucks.

WWE HAS MORE FACEBOOK FRIENDS THAN EVERY TEAM IN THE NFL. I sure hope SD trends worldwide in some way - that'll make the show seem more important! Alberto is on commentary, and sounds bored. Bunch of stuff happened, and Dolph bonked heads with Swagger hard. ZEB TOOK A SHOT FROM A LADDER. Granted, via a baseball slide, but still - wow. Then Dolph took the basement superkick. Alberto laid dudes out with the ladder and stood on top with the belt. This was a disaster given that Dolph got hurt, and wasn't even entertaining. Ambrose-Bryan is up, and feels like it should be later in the show since they've done nothing with either guy talking about the match.

Replay of the Shield's win from Raw was shown. I so love Ambrose's mannerisms in his intro. Love Ambrose starting things out by raking the eyes on the ropes - don't see that much anymore. Tremendous chain of kicks to Ambrose when he was seated - easy way to mix things up a bit. Haven't seen Ambrose's elbow/forearm face rake in the corner before. Nice sliding lariat from Ambrose after the straightjacket chinlock. Loved Bryan using Hogan-esque punching holding Ambrose's head in place before throwing them. Great closeup of the corner dropkick before the tree of woe kicks to the gut/basement dropkick combo! Wheelbarrow facebuster from Ambrose looked slick. I liked that they teased a finish with Bryan winning, teased another one with Ambrose, and then ended with Kofi making a save - shame they did this after making him look like a jobber on Raw, but hopefully this leads to a higher spot on the card for him on a more regular basis. Ryback-Jericho replay was hilariously truncated to just Teddy's announcement and the punch.

The wacky visual of Sandow in full getup with the PTPs "outside earlier today on WWE.com" during the first Henry truck pull was amusing. WM Blu-Ray ad was great - shame some of the dazzling visuals shown in the ad aren't actually on the set. Barrett-Sheamus was recapped to show Sheamus looking strong before Henry massacred him with a belt. Sheamus's skin is perfect to show off the effects of anything to his body. Striker interviewed Henry about IMPRESSING THE WWE UNIVERSE. Sadly, Henry didn't threaten to pull the trailers onto Striker for saying stupid things to him. GET OUTTA MY WAY WHILE I MAKE HISTORY. Yes sir, Mr. Henry. Henry's death glare when Striker asked if he thought he could do it was amazing. Henry pulled the tractor trailers, broke the record, and broke down in agony upon doing so and the crowd popped for him. HOW IS THIS MAN A HEEL IN THIS FEUD!?

Ryback-Cena recap is up next. It had some wacky epic music, but was otherwise nothing special. Orton's in the back with Renee Young recapping what happened on Raw with Show. Renee's cute, but is super-generic vocally. Orton at least had some conviction in his promo talking about being wronged by Show and him sticking his neck out to help Show just got him KOed - twice. This led to a Show match, which should logically be interrupted by Orton since he's clearly backstage and kind of pissed at this guy. Hype for Jericho and Fandango's dance off on Raw. Love the DO THE WORM sign in the background while the fat guys danced. Tensai looked huge in there with Show - clearly not as big, but still really big even with Show against him side by side. Nice fast action too before the KO punch out of nowhere. Show's spear to Clay looked like shit though. RKO out of nowhere saved Clay from more. This was fun stuff, especially with the guy in the Cena shirt doing the Orton pose. Loved AJ calling Nattie and Kaitlyn men. BOODIEKA BOODIEKA 619! Khali Mysterio, and Nattie's cleavage, ruled. This was a bizarre leadin to THE MAIN EVENT MATCH ON THE SHOW.

More Fandango-Jericho hype. THE WWE APP apparently talked about Fandango winning the dance off because he won at WM, so he's probably losing then. Jericho's new shiny, glittery purple and dark grey gear looks pretty awesome. Cena CAN'T USE THE POWER at ER. Well, maybe he can do his wacky rana/powerbomb of himself to try and win instead. The crawl has a distracting Koman Foundation graphic hyping up the charity work WWE, THE MOST LOVING, CHARITABLE COMPANY IN HISTORY does with its roster. Moves were exchanged for a few minutes before Ryback went to the floor to create an ad break. Well, that was fairly blatant. They told a story of Ryback trying to prove he can keep a guy down for 10 seconds - which was great if he was refusing a pin and instead demanded a count or instead won via KO, and not with a reverse bearhug being done afterwards. Ryback doing the Hogan ear cup was weird. Ryback selling a shoulder tackle from Jericho not only once, but twice looked odd given the size difference between them. Nice snap shouldermount poweslam from Ryback led to a surprising running splash from the big man that missed. Codebreaker led to a spinebuster-esque counter. Best counter like that was either Batista countering it into a Batista Bomb or Taker turning it into a Last Ride - this was still quite good though and reminded me of Rampage's powerbomb. Josh mocked Cole for hanging onto Cena like J.R. did to Austin, leading to a mocking STONE COLD, STONE COLD, STONE COLD bit out of nowhere. That was bizarre, as was him saying Ryback's got legs the size of people. Walls out of the Shellshock got people on their feet going crazy. Codebreaker sent Ryback to the floor. For some reason, Ryback's atomic whip crotch-first into the ringpost was a DQ. SINCE WHEN ARE LOW BLOWS A DQ IN WWE!? This was like a bad AWA show finish in '86, minus Greg Gagne being passionate about it, or hearing Blears try to stumble over a logical reason for it. Ryback's Meathook on the announce table ruled, as did the wacky monkey chest beating. Good lord does that man have some veins on him. Most of this show felt like filler, but there was about 30 or so minutes of great stuff.

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