I'm hoping they eventually do a "did you know" graphic on SD having
the most amount of "well, that sure was an episode of a show" reviews
than any other show in TV history. TAKE THAT, BART SIMPSON! I love the
focus on the opening video being on the world title. Sure, it's defended
on Raw now, but it's never made to feel like a big deal, so this helps
make it seem important. Show-Orton still feels like just a match even
with it getting a big segment in...MizTV instead of the Highlight Reel
for whatever reason. Miz's goal is to make SD memorable. I applaud that
goal since every ep since the Taker one has been forgettable - like most
eps before that one over the past year. Feels odd to have Orton-Show as
the namesake match for the PPV given that it just doesn't feel like a
big match even though it kind of technically should due to the guys
involved. Sadly, MizTV didn't begin with Show KOing Miz for delivering
exposition in an annoying manner. YOU DEFEATED TENSAI...BUT THE
VIPER...STRUCK! Miz was a fairly cocky shit here. I dug Show's THERE
AREN'T NO RULES bit. I hope he wins this, but I'm expecting Orton to win
this to eventually get a world title shot.
Zeb
interrupting Orton saying words was a fine break from things. Zeb's
gotten more of a reaction than anyone else so far, and of course, him
saying stuff led to Alberto coming out. I'm sensing a HOLLA HOLLA TAG
MATCH, playas. Alberto calling Zeb Jumanji Man made him seem really out
of touch with pop culture. Henry came out continued the trend of guys
coming out to say words. Sweet Christ, now Sheamus is out to talk.
Sheamus whooped guys with the strap who didn't even do anything to him.
Shocking dick move from him. This set up nothing - not even a holla
holla 6-man. Teddy waited until after the break to come out and make an
announcement. He's READY FO EXTREME RULES and created a HOLLA HOLLA
6-MAN TAG!
Reigns and Rollins are out with Ambrose
for a tag match against the Usos, who they've had beef with before.
CONTINUITY! I dig it. Shield duo won in no time with the spear. Kofi
came out to save them with a chair and actually wasn't made to look weak
here. Amazing. Ryback-Cena recap is up next. Teddy met backstage with
Sandow, who wants THE DAMIEN SANDOW SHOW, and will instead get a match
with the Miz...no thank you, Teddy. They showed the Shield costing
themselves the match via DQ, but by tying it into them being willing to
sacrifice for the greater good, I don't mind it too much. They willingly
cost themselves the match to do damage. I think Josh is now a heel, or
something close to that, because he's totally supporting Ryback now. THE
FUNKYDACTYLS (as Lilian called them) came out with Tons of Funk for a
match against some team. Rematch against the PTPs. Loved the big 3 point
stance charge from Titus. Shame it missed because he'd be a great
choice to resurrect the Pounce in WWE. Tenta-style powerslam got a
2.9999/possible 3, but the faces didn't win until the double splash.
Jericho-Cesaro is up next, with zero hype or build-up. Should be
awesome, but COME ON - both guys are good on the mic. You can do
SOMETHING for it. Maybe sacrifice an app or WWEShop plug to make the
show better. Speaking of the app, an ad for it aired geared towards
advertisers who will want to advertise on WWE programs because the app
encourages people to not change the channel.
Fandango's
deal with Jericho was summed up nicely in 30 seconds instead of 20
minutes. Loved Josh comparing Cesaro to a Swiss Army knife, leading JBL
to ask if that's like Batman's belt or FELIX'S BAG OF TRICKS. Has Felix
even been a thing in 20 years? I remember an NES game with him. Summer
Rae moaned on the WWE app - THE NEW WAY TO WATCH TV. This was done to
mock Jericho with another feigned injury. I liked that, and JBL saying
that he's known Jericho since the early '90s and he's never seen him
more upset or more focused. DON'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL, IF YOU DOWNLOAD
THE APP, THE SHOW CONTINUES ON IT. Ugh. Got a UFC 160 ad showing Cain
massacring Brock. How dare they do that and take away from HHH doing
that. They came back and Cesaro did some nice stuff - including the
sweet GIANT leaping double stomp. Very unique selling of the corner
enzuiguri from Cesaro - he kind of crumpled to his knees. TREMENDOUS
European uppercut counter from Cesaro off the top rope leap from
Jericho. Karelin lift was countered into the Walls for a win. Very good
match overall...and then it kind of meant nothing when Summer Rae
immediately distracted him before Fandango came out and got
spinebustered and Codebreakered. Loved the shot of a guy in a Hogan
shirt behind the announcers, who had a grey Hogan-stached guy in a Cena
shirt right behind them. Langston-Swagger recap show stuff being done to
generically build up the match. A new Zeb video aired with them in
front of the green screen...which really killed this whole deal. Zeb
wants to know why schools are closing, why criminals are running
rampant, and why the IRS is targeting groups for their views. Well,
other than him being a bit of a racist, this character is making some
fine points.
Cody's at ringside with a wacky
jacket on - Sandow-Miz is being used to build up the pre-show match,
which I'd never figured out until now. Miz is MORE POPULAR THAN THE
JONAS BROTHERS...are they still a thing now? Miz's goal is apparently to
be world champ or WWE champ. Luckily, he didn't specify the year. Cody
doesn't understand why it's bad that he and Damien express their
FRIENDSHIP for each other. JBL commented on Cody's jacket, and good
lord, THERE'S MORE STUFF WITH THE APP. Wade Barrett is talking - you
know, the guy who loses a lot. Miz and Cody had a generic SD match
except for Cody's mid-match promo. Miz won with the figure four - I like
that they're protecting a finisher, but the move seems so odd for Miz
to use. Josh said that the main event had EXTREME RULES SUBPLOTS in it.
Aksana's
silver catsuit is tremendous. Kaitlyn set up a snap suplex with a slap
to the ass. Josh said that people who use eharmony are ugly, while those
that use Match aren't because they have photos, so it HAS TO BE SIN
CARA! I loved JBL saying if he wanted a date on eharmony, he'd put up a
photo of his wallet. Loved Cole implying that Josh is busy sexting at 2
AM. The commentary of this match was amazing. They talked about the
HHH-Brock rivalry being epic, which seemed absurd until I remembered
that it's gone on since April of last year, and Brock's only been back
since March. Good to see HHH make great use of a massive draw to really
spread his drawing power around with as many pieces of talent as
possible. Kind of surprised that HHH's bitch line wasn't muted here.
Fine video overall. Loved Ricardo getting his own big intro from Lilian -
very surprised to see the main event starting at about 9:30 or so -
it's clearly going to be given plenty of time, which should allow it to
be good. Or rather, time for a 12 Rounds 2 trailer to be shoe-horned
into things. After that and intros, which weren't even all shown, this
match went from having nearly half an hour devoted to it to about 15
minutes tops. Loved Show's giant elbow drop leading to an ad break.
Cena-Ryback ad aired, and was really the only major hype for the title
match here. They did a bunch of stuff to Alberto, leading to Sheamus
getting a tag and doing the White Noise to Show - this is routine now,
but fit the story for his match with Henry nicely. Loved Henry whooping
Sheamus. TAKE THIS WHOOPIN LIKE A MAN, BOY! Also loved Swagger saying
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, FELLA! Loved the enzuiguri to Henry, the Brogue to
Show, and Swagger getting RKOed. It was exciting, even if it doesn't
bode well for Swagger's future if he doesn't win. Maybe they'll replay
Zeb saying NO MAS tonight as the finish to that.
Screens -
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http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/btvfifc36hvg7r4tk9pbveo4bqoq7fmj
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