Friday, May 17, 2013

SD 5-17-13

I'm hoping they eventually do a "did you know" graphic on SD having the most amount of "well, that sure was an episode of a show" reviews than any other show in TV history. TAKE THAT, BART SIMPSON! I love the focus on the opening video being on the world title. Sure, it's defended on Raw now, but it's never made to feel like a big deal, so this helps make it seem important. Show-Orton still feels like just a match even with it getting a big segment in...MizTV instead of the Highlight Reel for whatever reason. Miz's goal is to make SD memorable. I applaud that goal since every ep since the Taker one has been forgettable - like most eps before that one over the past year. Feels odd to have Orton-Show as the namesake match for the PPV given that it just doesn't feel like a big match even though it kind of technically should due to the guys involved. Sadly, MizTV didn't begin with Show KOing Miz for delivering exposition in an annoying manner. YOU DEFEATED TENSAI...BUT THE VIPER...STRUCK! Miz was a fairly cocky shit here. I dug Show's THERE AREN'T NO RULES bit. I hope he wins this, but I'm expecting Orton to win this to eventually get a world title shot.

Zeb interrupting Orton saying words was a fine break from things. Zeb's gotten more of a reaction than anyone else so far, and of course, him saying stuff led to Alberto coming out. I'm sensing a HOLLA HOLLA TAG MATCH, playas. Alberto calling Zeb Jumanji Man made him seem really out of touch with pop culture. Henry came out continued the trend of guys coming out to say words. Sweet Christ, now Sheamus is out to talk. Sheamus whooped guys with the strap who didn't even do anything to him. Shocking dick move from him. This set up nothing - not even a holla holla 6-man. Teddy waited until after the break to come out and make an announcement. He's READY FO EXTREME RULES and created a HOLLA HOLLA 6-MAN TAG!

Reigns and Rollins are out with Ambrose for a tag match against the Usos, who they've had beef with before. CONTINUITY! I dig it. Shield duo won in no time with the spear. Kofi came out to save them with a chair and actually wasn't made to look weak here. Amazing. Ryback-Cena recap is up next. Teddy met backstage with Sandow, who wants THE DAMIEN SANDOW SHOW, and will instead get a match with the thank you, Teddy. They showed the Shield costing themselves the match via DQ, but by tying it into them being willing to sacrifice for the greater good, I don't mind it too much. They willingly cost themselves the match to do damage. I think Josh is now a heel, or something close to that, because he's totally supporting Ryback now. THE FUNKYDACTYLS (as Lilian called them) came out with Tons of Funk for a match against some team. Rematch against the PTPs. Loved the big 3 point stance charge from Titus. Shame it missed because he'd be a great choice to resurrect the Pounce in WWE. Tenta-style powerslam got a 2.9999/possible 3, but the faces didn't win until the double splash. Jericho-Cesaro is up next, with zero hype or build-up. Should be awesome, but COME ON - both guys are good on the mic. You can do SOMETHING for it. Maybe sacrifice an app or WWEShop plug to make the show better. Speaking of the app, an ad for it aired geared towards advertisers who will want to advertise on WWE programs because the app encourages people to not change the channel.

Fandango's deal with Jericho was summed up nicely in 30 seconds instead of 20 minutes. Loved Josh comparing Cesaro to a Swiss Army knife, leading JBL to ask if that's like Batman's belt or FELIX'S BAG OF TRICKS. Has Felix even been a thing in 20 years? I remember an NES game with him. Summer Rae moaned on the WWE app - THE NEW WAY TO WATCH TV. This was done to mock Jericho with another feigned injury. I liked that, and JBL saying that he's known Jericho since the early '90s and he's never seen him more upset or more focused. DON'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL, IF YOU DOWNLOAD THE APP, THE SHOW CONTINUES ON IT. Ugh. Got a UFC 160 ad showing Cain massacring Brock. How dare they do that and take away from HHH doing that. They came back and Cesaro did some nice stuff - including the sweet GIANT leaping double stomp. Very unique selling of the corner enzuiguri from Cesaro - he kind of crumpled to his knees. TREMENDOUS European uppercut counter from Cesaro off the top rope leap from Jericho. Karelin lift was countered into the Walls for a win. Very good match overall...and then it kind of meant nothing when Summer Rae immediately distracted him before Fandango came out and got spinebustered and Codebreakered. Loved the shot of a guy in a Hogan shirt behind the announcers, who had a grey Hogan-stached guy in a Cena shirt right behind them. Langston-Swagger recap show stuff being done to generically build up the match. A new Zeb video aired with them in front of the green screen...which really killed this whole deal. Zeb wants to know why schools are closing, why criminals are running rampant, and why the IRS is targeting groups for their views. Well, other than him being a bit of a racist, this character is making some fine points.

Cody's at ringside with a wacky jacket on - Sandow-Miz is being used to build up the pre-show match, which I'd never figured out until now. Miz is MORE POPULAR THAN THE JONAS BROTHERS...are they still a thing now? Miz's goal is apparently to be world champ or WWE champ. Luckily, he didn't specify the year. Cody doesn't understand why it's bad that he and Damien express their FRIENDSHIP for each other. JBL commented on Cody's jacket, and good lord, THERE'S MORE STUFF WITH THE APP. Wade Barrett is talking - you know, the guy who loses a lot. Miz and Cody had a generic SD match except for Cody's mid-match promo. Miz won with the figure four - I like that they're protecting a finisher, but the move seems so odd for Miz to use. Josh said that the main event had EXTREME RULES SUBPLOTS in it.

Aksana's silver catsuit is tremendous. Kaitlyn set up a snap suplex with a slap to the ass. Josh said that people who use eharmony are ugly, while those that use Match aren't because they have photos, so it HAS TO BE SIN CARA! I loved JBL saying if he wanted a date on eharmony, he'd put up a photo of his wallet. Loved Cole implying that Josh is busy sexting at 2 AM. The commentary of this match was amazing. They talked about the HHH-Brock rivalry being epic, which seemed absurd until I remembered that it's gone on since April of last year, and Brock's only been back since March. Good to see HHH make great use of a massive draw to really spread his drawing power around with as many pieces of talent as possible. Kind of surprised that HHH's bitch line wasn't muted here. Fine video overall. Loved Ricardo getting his own big intro from Lilian - very surprised to see the main event starting at about 9:30 or so - it's clearly going to be given plenty of time, which should allow it to be good. Or rather, time for a 12 Rounds 2 trailer to be shoe-horned into things. After that and intros, which weren't even all shown, this match went from having nearly half an hour devoted to it to about 15 minutes tops. Loved Show's giant elbow drop leading to an ad break. Cena-Ryback ad aired, and was really the only major hype for the title match here. They did a bunch of stuff to Alberto, leading to Sheamus getting a tag and doing the White Noise to Show - this is routine now, but fit the story for his match with Henry nicely. Loved Henry whooping Sheamus. TAKE THIS WHOOPIN LIKE A MAN, BOY! Also loved Swagger saying HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, FELLA! Loved the enzuiguri to Henry, the Brogue to Show, and Swagger getting RKOed. It was exciting, even if it doesn't bode well for Swagger's future if he doesn't win. Maybe they'll replay Zeb saying NO MAS tonight as the finish to that.

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