Friday, May 3, 2013

SD 5-3-13

I love the opening video recapping three hours of Raw into a concise 20 seconds of stuff that mattered. Ryback's jacket makes him look even bigger...and that's all that matters on SD, apparently. I'm guessing Ryback flubbed a line early because they awkwardly cut away to an extended crowd shot right when the promo began. The stronger eat the weak, and Ryback rules...okay then. LOLing at the kid in a Sheamus outfit, complete with fake beard. Ryback's mannerisms annoy me - they're largely the same during his intro, and during matches, he just says Ryback rules. Ryback should just be in matches with his friends, or at least a best of 90 series with Bryan, because these two had shockingly good chemistry together in the ring. Cole saying that Bryan's a former world champ and a current tag champ helped the tag titles seem important.

Tremendous sideway spinning bump from Bryan for the press slam over the top. Loved the fan when they came back begging for Ryback to throw him over there. Nice dive catch into a spinebuster position into an over-the-shoulder powerlsam. Kind of wasteful, but impressive. Thesz press being turned into the Calgary Crab ruled. Nasty collisions between the two on the flying Hart attack and corner dropkicks. Rough bump for the rana powerbomb counter to the floor. Deadlift powerbomb from Ryback was good, but not as slick as what Cesaro usually does. I liked the Rampage powerbomb. Then they switched to talking about the comedy triple threat from Raw, with Cole again calling Zeb "Swagger's Founding Father", WHICH STILL MAKES NO SENSE. Ricardo was all wacky and excited about facing Zeb tonight and kissed Renee. They made Fandango seem like a huge deal by saying his match is next, showing some of his WM intro, and then folks Fandangoing.

The Khali-Fandango dancing deal was recapped in fine highlight form. Loved Cole stating that "THEY DON'T TEACH SPORTSMANSHIP IN BALLROOM DANCING CLASS!". Summer Rae's baby blue dress is beyond amazing. JBL burying PETA when Cole put over them Fandangoing was amazing. Ryder got the uber-jobber intro here. HE HAS MORE TWITTER FOLLOWERS THAN RG3! Now Fandango's got his own caught in the rope spot - elbows to the back of the head. Only instead of Misawa, they're more like Velvet Sky. Josh saying that Ryder wants to be more aggressive, right before he did the WOO WOO WOO deal was amusing. As was JBL asking if he got the aggressive cut from his barber. Mr. Dango won with the flying legdrop. Kaitlyn's cleavage got roses and a text that she luckily had ready the second Nattie was nearby. Khali said some things, and I got a set top box error from Comcast. GLORIOUS. When it came back, they had a graphic up for Cena's deal on Raw with the kids.

Raw was the #1 show on all of TV - okay. They recap of everything with Wish Day came off far better than watching it live, where they talked way too much about how great the company was amid all of the stuff that Cena should be commended for. I loved Zeb not only starting things off by twirling his stache and calling Renee Ronda, but mocking the lamestream media, and talking about how ill he was, BUT BY GOD, HE'S A REAL AMERICAN AND HE WORKS SICK! Loved JBL calling bullshit on the idea on Ricardo being on a high for beating a grandfather, and getting on Cole for saying Zeb's in a fishing vest while Ricardo's in Zubaz.

Loved Big E holding the belt, and moving it around to stare at it. Ditto Zeb punching Jack's hands to get ready. Ricardo riding him like a horsey reminded me of what JJ said on the Horsemen DVD - how it was hard for him to transition from wrestling like a wrestler to wrestling like a manager instead and having his best matches as a result. Teddy making a HOLLA HOLLA TAG MATCH, PLAYA ruled. They've got an extra thick layer of bullshit in the ads for the IYH DVD set. It's glorious though. IT'S A SERIES THAT DEFINED A GENERATION. Yes, of some of their lowest buyrates ever. Good event for a comp set though since they'll come off like a big deal, even if the idea of THE BEST OF IN YOUR HOUSE getting equal treatment to the BEST OF STARRCADE is absurd.

Booker, WHO HAS BEEN ANGRY WITH TEDDY FOR WEEKS, isn't here for some reason - so he of course put Teddy in charge instead of someone he trusts. I'd have loved Stevie Ray as the guest GM. This lasted maybe two minutes before the DQ by Big E and Dolph. So now it's a 3-way holla holla tag. It really hit me here that other than the night after WM, Dolph hasn't really felt like the world champion and feels more like just a guy with the belt. It's a bit worse than with Swagger in the sense that they at least gave Swagger a ton of airtime to get over - but no credible wins. Alberto had some terrible rope burn under his arm during one of the corner charges from Big E. MASSIVE bodyblock from Big E on Ricardo. Glorious spot...shame they took it out of the WWE games since his finisher can be made in the game. Dolph continues his roll by losing via tapout. Good lord. The Shield attacked Bryan. Oh yeah, Ambrose faces Kane later. They really should've recapped that in the opening video too.

Black Ref, another ref, and TRAINER TRAINER acted badly while attending to Bryan. Denny's shilling amused me. They're always open...unless you're Big E. Orton's out and based on the crowd's signs, comes off like a big star. Him being in random matches against mid-carders doesn't help him much though. Orton seemed annoyed by the fans cheering him before the ad break. Nice DDT from Sandow - don't recall seeing him do that before. Loved Orton's wacky face before hitting the draping DDT. RKO got the win. This was indeed a match. Nice closeup on the RKO IT'S FINISH sign. And this wasn't a kid's sign - the guy looked to be in his 20s. Show distracted Orton so Sandow could hit his finish and then do a giant cackle. Show challenged Orton to a match at ER. Kane met with Striker, who sadly left this segment not being either attacked or set on fire. Great promo from Kane saying he know he was going into a war he couldn't win, but he'd take as many of the Shield down with him as he could. Nice Brock-HHH hype vid - I'd completely forgotten about that match coming up.

Out of nowhere, and with zero mention on the show, it was time for a Henry-Sheamus arm wrestling contest. They recapped Raw's wacky bit with the tug of war, where Sheamus was a dick and attacked Henry after he'd done nothing wrong that evening. JBL going over proper arm wrestling rules was something else. The table is shockingly beat up for something on WWE TV. Loved him talking about Rude's arm wrestling skills back in the day. Shocked he didn't mention Scott Norton too. Henry won fairly, and tehn Sheamus was a dick again and mocked his weight and challenged him to a left-armed arm wrestling match. Henry rightly said that he won, but couldn't resist when Sheamus said he was scared. Loved JBL saying that Henry's the world's strongest man - not the strongest left-handed man. Then Sheamus fucked around with the table, punched him, and Brogue Kicked him. What an asshole. Loved JBL calling Sheamus out on being a jerk for this. Great recap of the Shield-Taker stuff from last week. Kane-Ambrose is next.

WWE MAGAZINE HAS MORE READERS PER COPY THAN ESPN OR ROLLING STONE! That must be why it's converting to a digital format - it's doing far too well. Reigns came down with Bryan's tag belt. According to Cole, Kane is coming to REVENGE BRYAN. Maybe he's been watching a lot of the Office on Netflix instant streaming. Shocked they didn't ADR that. I loved Kane starting with a draping elbow while Ambrose's head was over the apron, then doing a kick, then he rolled into a headbutt. Great bump from Reigns over the announce table. Nice knee jam using the shoulder during the break from Ambrose. Nice wacky leg hold on the ringpost from Ambrose. Love the other members of the Shield yelling stuff to Ambrose whenever Kane was on offense. Love the throat slash leading to a tombstone tease and Rollins being kicked off right onto the announce table like a super ball. Bulldog driver looked sick - and can be replicated quite nicely thanks to the snapmare driver being in WWE '13. The Reigns spear saved the day for the Shield in the post-match beating. They're doing a great job getting that over. JBL putting them over as THE best team in WWE history was great. This ruled. Show as a whole was fine, but not as exciting as last week.

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