They recapped Layla-Kaitlyn from Raw, which is good since I forgot about it. Miz saying that Big E is AJ's buddy makes me hope they give him a relative named Bud E. Also, he's back to using a longer singlet! Big E got put into the friend zone by AJ. Loved JBL's astonishment over her saying Kane wore a mask for everything. I like AJ going all psycho for the Divas title - shame the belt looks so terrible. Dolph came out and said that AJ's just the latest woman who can't get over him. Kaitlyn's theme thankfully interrupted Dolph's promo. JBL got in a reference to Simon Cowell cheating here, which was amusing. Miz's guests bickered and he yelled WOAAAAHHHH MY SHOW! and then he just made a match for Summerslam - mixed tag between AJ and Big E against Kaitlyn and Dolph. Boy has Dolph's year not quite panned out like it seemed like it would. Loved Big E telling Kaitlyn to calm down and then Dolph was a complete dick and attacked him from behind. Quick recap of the beard trim for Barrett to set up their match later.
They bragged about the WM showcase on NBC, and then the Raw Rebound recapped the Punk-Brock deal. This managed to make Punk-Axel seem important and built up the PPV match wonderfully. They hyped up an interview with Brock, which sure would've been a nice thing to hype up on Raw. Alberto asked Vickie why he has to face Christian tonight, which is a valid question. She made it because what he did to Ricardo was as bad as what he did to Christian last week, which I don't recall at all. Also, how is he "her" champion when he's on Raw too? Loved Summer Rae's outfit and JBL saying WE DANCE ON FRIDAY NIGHT. And we get even steven booking too, as he's facing Kofi. They came back and JBL pimped Five Hour Energy. I miss the days of everyone shilling his Mamajuana stuff. They showed Kofi's win on Raw. A few fans sang the Fandango theme. It hit when Cole was rattling off stats that Kofi has apparently had something like 10 total title reigns in WWE. Astounding given his position on the card. Some fan hit on Summer Rae saying she's hot and looks beautiful today. The annoying RVD fan started a USA chant. Cole compared Kofi's gear to JBL's when he was Vampiro Americano. HE ONCE BEAT MIL MASCARAS, which is quite astounding. Maybe Mil passed out or something. Kofi teased a dive before Summer Rae protected Fandango, showcasing her super-low dress. Kofi bonked off of the post thanks to a Summer Rae injury fake. Bryan met with Renee, who comes off as so wooden on TV. She was tremendous on the new JBL/Cole show singing the BAT BRIDGE! theme.
They recapped the end of Raw with Orton killing dudes with the RKO. I wish they'd showed that before the RVD match since it would've furthered the idea of him being on a major roll. Bryan-Barrett is up and really doesn't feel like a main event match. It COULD given what happened on Raw and their history, but doesn't. Speaking of which, when Bryan-Cena began, they said they'd be talking about their history in WWE. They never did, even though they joked about his firing before. WE WILL EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY WADE BARRETT DOESN'T HAVE A BEARD. We know Cole, they showed the clip of the shaving before. Now they're showing way too much of the Raw opening deal to kill time. JBL was glad that Barrett left the clippers there so he could shave the soul patch off of Cole. Despite Barrett only having a beard for maybe a year, it seems weird to see him without one now. Loved JBL saying that Bryan looked like a werewolf with a mannequin's body attached. That's at least more fear-inducing than a goat. Corner dropkick setup led to the Winds of Change. Great height on that. Barrett grabbed the clippers and went to use them on Bryan, but got kicked, leading to the big knee off the apron. Flying headbutt led to the YES Lock and a fan holding up a Pillman 4 HOF sign. I'd be all for that. Bryan stomped the clippers, which seems a bit dangerous given that there is a blade in there flying God knows where. Damien met with Renee, who seemed to disgust Sandow. They recapped the case dousing bit, which should disgust him. Damien introduced his new Sandowized briefcase, which has leather-looking paint on it with a nice texture. The engraving makes it look like a Hershey bar though. Loved him bragging about being the WORLD CHAMPION OF THE UNWASHED MASSES! Kane's up next to do something.
Recap vid of the Wyatt-Kane deal from Raw. Kane's facing 3MB, who look really awesome in the deep red lighting. Cole explained that the Ring of Fire match was basically just the inferno match with a different name. Loved JBL saying this wasn't fair - 3MB needed more people. Chokeslam to Jinder gives him the win. Then Bray's chair was rocking on the tron and he appeared and cut easily his best promo yet by a wide margin. He was so creepy here that was it was glorious. Beyond the obvious Waylon Mercy look, he cut a Jake Roberts-like promo here with his inflection - it was amazing. I hope he gets into acting at some point - he'd be perfect as a creepy villain on Burn Notice. Shame it's ending soon.
They replayed the same Total Divas hype graphic from last week. Then Brock cut a tremendous promo. He isn't just Paul's muscle - he just spared Punk for Paul's sake. There's no professional jealousy because all Punk does is tape his fist, have tattoos and take beginner MMA classes - Brock was NCAA and UFC Champion. Punk calls himself the best in the world and held the WWE Title for 400 days - an impressive stat, as was Brock being WWE Champ when Punk was wrestling in front of 100 fans in a high school gym. This was absolutely outstanding and needs to be replayed a billion times between now and the PPV. It undid all of the damage done by nearly a year of feuding with HHH. The main event is still to come and this has already been the best wrestling TV show of the week.
Christian's out, and Alberto comes out after the break with a replay of the Ricardo beating. That flip bump to the floor was pretty awesome, but the breakup would've made a lot more sense if Ricardo cost him the title instead of leading to a loss in an unhyped TV match. They "hyped up" the PPV match by saying it was happening, and it really feels like an opener at best. Given the build, it's really more of a pre-show match - but with a swank set of graphics for the guys. They've set up zero issues between the two - despite having plenty of world title history between the two guys to draw upon. Cole got on Alberto for picking Ricardo to face him since he wasn't a...SPORTS ENTERTAINER. Sure he is - he was in the Royal Rumble. I liked JBL saying he could've picked Hornswoggle, but he's out of his weight class since Horny is a super heavyweight. Maybe he should've picked Super Porky. They did some moves and went to a break. They aired a Kick-Ass 2 ad with a terrible cover of "Bad Reputation". I hope Ronda Rousey never uses that in UFC.
Nice sidestep for the big dive from Christian. Guys in ref shirts booed Alberto after he kicked Christian on the apron. USA chant for the match with the Mexican against the Canadian. Cole briefly mentioned the history between Christian and Alberto, but didn't bother bringing up Christian avenging his retired friend Edge. Then they did a crazy double-dive off the top to the floor to set up the ad break. That really felt like something they should've saved for PPV, even though this match will probably be given more time.
Total Divas hype involves Nikki saying that Brie and Bryan, BRYAN OF ALL PEOPLE, is unappreciative. That crazy top rope bump to the floor just led to them coming back to do an armbar on the ropes, so that was a really stupid thing to do. Alberto went up top and it appears that Alberto had two sets of kneepads on for each knee. Super rana for Christian got 2. Don't recall him doing that much. Crossbody off the top got 2 for Christian. Flying European uppercut set up clapping, a Killswitch attempt, and Christian eating a tilt-a-whril. Killswitch was countered into the back stabber. Spear got 2. Shoulder toss into the post and the armbar. It was once again countered into the 3/4 nelson, but unlike Raw, it only got 2. This point wasn't brought up in the slightest. Flash cradle got 3 for Christian - so he can beat the world champ out of nowhere, just not with his major finishers. This was a really good match and will likely wind up being far better than the PPV one. Alberto got mad near a guy with a U MAD BRO shirt, which ruled, then he got Killswitched after trying to attack Christian again. Then JBL ranted marvelously about Cole being biased and Sandow came out to cash in but was taken out by Cody, who foolishly did this in a way that allowed the match to not start so the title shot is still intact.
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