Friday, August 23, 2013

WWE SD 8-23-13

Instead of the generic intro, they started off with Raw's show-opening Summerslam recap before going to one on Raw that made Bryan out to be THE MAN right now. And then they played the generic intro. Vickie was in the ring and introduced Orton - now called the hand-picked champion. A Tyler Breeze sign, complete with faux cell phone, made air. Lots of RK-NO signs too. Nearly 10 minutes into the show, things got moving with Orton talking. He said he's a role model because he told the truth - that he'd cash in when you didn't expect it. He didn't know the pedigree was coming, which was a good line since of course if it was real, how would he have known Bryan would win in advance? Orton said he's now the face of WWE. And I'm surprised he is without them demanding he dye his beard all-black. JBL's line about Bryan coming down to congratulate Orton was straight out of Heenan's playbook. Instead of kicking Orton's ass, Bryan...spoke.

He thanked Cena for being given the chance to wrestle him. Bryan mocked Orton for being pretty and that's why Hunter likes him. Then he said the only reason he was in WWE was because his grandfather and father were there. And Orton's so pretty, he needs to be kicked in the face. Then he whined about sleeping in his car wrestling in shitty buildings to get where he is, because he isn't tall or pretty. Bryan brought up his rematch clause, which he wants tonight. Orton said nope - he'll get it at NoC. That was...anti-climatic. Then an RKO attempt was countered with a kick. This seemed to take forever to get going, or end. Christian faces Alberto in what I think is their fourth match in five weeks of TV. Axel faces Cody next.

 Vickie yelled to someone about Bryan, then Barrett told her to make a match with him against Bryan to ensure the NoC match never happens. Why that would be the case, I have no idea, since he lost to him twice. Now, it'll be a cage match. They hyped up Cody's stache being lost on Youtube. Why they didn't just show a damn clip of it here I have no idea. They hyped up Axel by showing him getting his ass kicked by Punk on Raw, and alternated between that being a fight, a street fight, a match, and an unsanctioned match. Nice springboard dropkick from Cody - seems a bit redundant given the Disaster kick though. Great leaping forearm smash from Axel mid-ring - I hope that gets put into 2K14 because it helps set him apart. JBL said that Cody should get a Drano sponsorship due to being the son of a son a plumber, and that he and Dusty would be the first father-son world champions. Cody busted out Booker's sunset flip out of the corner spot. I love him taking bits and pieces of other guys' offense. Not the McGullicutter won. He badly needs a name for that, because not having it doesn't help him, and he needs a lot of help. Loved Heyman's conviction in his promo on Punk and hyping up BBBBRROOOCKKK LESSSNNNARR! Also, no one can defeat Curtis Axel for the IC Title. Punk apparently doesn't deserve a shot at the title, but he will face Axel on Raw. Barrett looks bored in his new promo shot. Dolph-Langston is next in an unhyped match for some reason.

AJ skipped around looking adorable. And then they zoomed in on Big E's boobs. Dolph was hyped up by...showing his ass-kicking on Raw. What a quizzical formula to ensure that guys get over as threats. Massive Steinerline from Big E got a 2 that could've easily been a three. Zig Zag out of nowhere for the win in maybe a few minutes. Okay, so can these folks please move on from this now?  Christian-Alberto is up next. Poor Alberto. Give this dude a night off so he doesn't just start killing dudes mid-ring. Christian got his intro while they shilled for Foot Locker. JBL basically called Sin Cara a pussy for quitting due to dislocated fingers. They went for about a minute before going to break.

They came back with Alberto kicking ass. Great exchange with a crossbody being dodged, leading to a dropkick, armbar attempt, rollthrough, and tornado DDT. Kick to the back of the head got 2, although Alberto should protest due to the ref leaving the ring mid-count and giving Christian more time to recover. Alberto removed one of two layers of protection over his right knee - somehow a superkick would hurt more that way. Victory roll setup for the armbar allowed it to be locked on, but Christian bent his arm but couldn't hold it and tapped. Alberto cut a post-match promo showcasing how fucked up both of his eyes are. The fans are all peasants, BUT IF YOU FOLLOW ALBERTO, YOU CAN BETTER YOURSELF! Ricardo is awesome as a sarcastic little shit - keep him out of the ring and he can be the new Mexican a degree. RVD came out in a badass blue dragon, black, and lightning white singlet. Christian hit a cheap missile dropkick to set up rolling thunder. Poor Alberto. Good setup for maybe a 3 way at the PPV though. They recapped Orton-Bryan from earlier. G,g,get YO GROOVE ON at That was a silly ad.

Show and Henry came out for a handicap match with 3MB. Heath's giant XXII tattoo on his right arm is ridiculous. The expanded one on his left arm looks nice though. Loved the bump Heath took off the bodyblock and then the crazy one off the Pounce too. Drew took an even sillier bump for a Show shoulderblock. This was a ton of fun. Rollins cut his best promo yet about the clocks ticking on the veterans. Zeb zoomed through his spiel before the PTP theme hit. Great body shot/uppercut combo from Cesaro while Cole talked about DY doing it "fo the people". DY got all busted up here, but won with the Gut Check and came off as a tough guy with the blood. Loved them showing fans on the hard camera doing the MILLIONS OF DOLLAS dance - especially the group with the large RVD fan in the middle. A woman beneath them had a sign saying she hoped her water didn't break. Well, that would certainly have been something.

A really bad actor asked Ryback if he'd sign a photo for his son Billy. Ryback mocked him for naming his son that.  The guy didn't know Ryback's name, despite it being on his vest...and him apparently knowing that this giant dude was on the roster. Ryback called him a fool, and good lord does his bloated gut ever remind me of Test's. Not good. This was the absolute worst skit they've done with him yet, and it wasn't helped by them saying HE IS ABSOLUTELY NOT BEING A STAR, FOLKS! Los Matadores vignette aired.

Bryan came out first for the main event, and it seemed weird to have Barrett come out last. It's also odd for him to be in main events, but I'm glad to see it even if it does seem temporary. Backflip comeback spot led to the Winds of Change. Bryan made that look so awesome. Cole being a cheerlead for Bryan is so strange after his year+ burial of the guy. It's astounding Bryan was able to overcome that. Bryan's right arm is heavily bruised. GIANT lariat from Barrett here. It was even better than the one Big E hit earlier, and was enhanced by the flip bump. JBL put over what a victory here could do for Barrett. Super German from Bryan was teased, but Barrett countered with elbows. Top rope warfare led to Bryan getting ahead with kicks to the ribs leading to the world's smoothest sunset powerbomb off the top. No way to make that look any better. Bryan banged his head, got amped up, and hit the big running flying knee. Tremendous finisher and it's already over. Bryan left the ring and got hit with a stealth RKO.  

Screens -


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