Friday, January 17, 2014

SD 1-17-14

Outlaws are out to start the show. MIZ IS ON COMMENTARY. Cue giant Michael Scott NOOO! The Outlaws just did their usual I think they're faces or whatever. Miz implied that JBL was intimidated by him, which resulted in a hilarious reaction. Given how JBL buried this fucker on commentary when he debuted, this is odd. Goldust as face in peril rules - love Cody helping him with a punch to set up the snap powerslam. JBL buried Miz for saying Cody's "as fresh as fresh can be". Cody finally got the tag and the crowd went mild. Nice counter to the famouser, then a snapmare to one on the Cross Rhodes. Disaster kick hit and Vickie came out to...remind everyone about the Royal Rumble match. Well that's really weird. It made sense when she got to brother vs. brother and gave the Outlaws a win via schoolboy. Goddamn do these stupid distraction finishes WITH A SCHOOLBOY get old. Punk talked with Renee about calling out all of the Shield tonight.

Eva Marie did a little bit introducing Rey. He faced Alberto in yet another match between them. They did some moves, Alberto made silly faces AND THEN ATTEMPTED TO UNMASK REY. He damn near did so as well, revealing the entire right side of Rey's face other than his forehead here with no build in a match that wasn't advertised in advance and isn't even a major match in a rivalry. Great buzzsaw kick from Rey off the sunset flip counter. Rey got 2 off a tornado DDT that shockingly looked better than Cena's. Wheelbarrow armdrag set up the 619 and the splash, but Alberto countered. Rey countered the kneeling superkick with ANOTHER SCHOOLBOY WIN. And then Alberto destroyed him.

Nice recap of Bryan turning on the Wyatts from Raw. Bray cut an intense promo about Abigail saving him as a boy. And that he had to sacrifice himself on Raw to be resurrected to become the creature he was born to be. He also said he's already dead, which is a bit odd given that Taker's still around. Punk talked to Renee again about calling out the Shield...was he just hanging around there this whole time? Did he grab a bite to eat and go "hey, I wonder if Renee's still around..." Funkadactyls faced AJ and Tamina, BUT FIRST they showed Emma and her #EMMAtainment sign. There was also a dude there in an ROH hoodie. THERE WAS A SCHOOLBOY CRADLE AND IT ONLY GOT TWO! So I guess the divas are more durable than the men. Naomi won with RVD's split-legged moonsault.

Mae tribute vid aired with Cole's voiceover. Heyman said words about Show, then Show talked about Heyman. This didn't really go anywhere. Big E faced Fandango in what has to be their 900th match on TV. Fandango hit some nice mounted punches and a really explosive dropkick. His left-arm shortarm lariat was sweet too. Big E did an awesome bridge up to toss Fandango out. They talked about the IC Title and JBL said he was champion, and like Miz, he was relevant once too. OUCH! Then they just buried each other with little barbs. Okay - this could wind up being very entertaining. It's either going to be that or really annoying - leaning towards the former though since it's got Miz on edge and he's not going through the motions like on Main Event. Bodyblock led a Big Ending tease, but it was countered. Then he nailed it again, straps went down, and he got the win with the Ending.Warrior and Batista hype. I wonder if Batista inducts him since he was such a huge fan of his. Shield talked the Rumble plan with Renee. Dean said they had a plan for the Rumble and said "do I not look like a trustworthy person to you?" - TREMENDOUS! Dean said he couldn't toss them out, but Rollins said it would never happen. Dean said he was kidding, and Reigns said he'd chuck them both out - but ONE OF THEM would win the Rumble, and they'll still be the Shield. Aksana did another little promo hyping up the Usos-Real Americans.

Cena Sr. attack recap. Zeb came out in a wheelchair and neck brace. He rightly called the Big Show a bully. He, like everyone, wants Brock to destroy him like Show did to him. Zeb as the modern-day Ron Wright from SMW is so great. I hope he begs for help for wacky surgeries, then has miracle recoveries. Zeb's beard looks even more massive with a neck brace. Cesaro used Zeb as a human shield, THEN ZEB TRIPPED THE USO AND high-fived Cesaro. I love this gimmick.THEN THE USO GRABBED THE WHEELCHAIR AND WHEELED HIM INTO CESARO. They bumped on the floor. Zeb's taking an awful lot of bumps considering how old he is and that they won't let Flair or Lawler do anything. Electric chair drop led to the big splash and a win. THIS RULED. The main event was...Punk saying words and being surrounded by the Outlaws and the Shield. Mr. Kane came down to calm down the situation. Punk called Kane a SEVEN FOOT TALL SELLOUT SUCKUP. This bothered Kane for some reason, and he sent the goon squad to kill him. They just distracted him to set up a I guess it's Mr. Kane vs. Punk at the Rumble. Or a random Raw - not like it matters.

Screens -

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