Tuesday, January 12, 2016

TNA Impact 1-12-16

We get a recap of the debut of Impact on Pop to start things. They told the story of Matt overcoming the odds against EY, but losing to EC3. They hype up Angle's farewell tour with Angle vs. Galloway tonight. The new subdued Impact intro theme brings us to the subdued Pop era of TNA. EC3 looks in the mirror and has his TNA World title beneath him. Tyrus tells him it's time before sighing. Josh brags about being from THE ENTERTAINMENT CAPITAL OF PENNSYLVANIA! Beer Money has a beer bash later. EC3 poses for a second next to a fan in a purple suede jacket and American flag pants. EC3 thanks Tyrus for being there in such a way that is both heartfelt and a bit homoerotic when he talks about what they have backstage. Jeff comes out to wrestle in a wacky black and green getup.

EC3's "for the love of God, please stop that awful song!" sums things up nicely. After far too long, Jeff says he can wrestle and EC3 brings out a jobber for Jeff to beat. EC3 sings "it's a guy!". It's Shynron. Jeff does his basic indy show match - but a bit safer than usual. Twisto wins. Mr. Anderson interviews Matt Hardy on Huh? and the BPs face the Dollhouse again. Marti tells JB that he needs to talk to her first, but Kong talks smack to the BPs and then they brawl a bit. They're now in the street fight and it's just a sloppy brawl. Velvet avoids a piledriver on the floor and gets a suplex. The BPs beat up Kong with kendo sticks. Package piledriver from Jade to Rayne wins. Kinda revealing cover by Jade. Beer bash is next.
Christy is in the crowd asking who is ready for a beer bash and their theme hits. STORM IS IN TRUNKS AGAIN! God, I want TNA to succeed again just so Beer Money can actually be considered some kind of a draw. Roode apologizes for being selfish and destroying the team before. Storm's also sorry for superkicking him a ton. Roode apologizes for smashing him with a beer bottle - and Storm immediately replaces Roode's bottle with a plastic cup. This is pretty fun stuff until EY and Bram ruin things. EY wants the KOTM Title for some reason - probably so he can hold every incarnation of the Legends/Global/TV/KOTM Title. Roode is fine with this.They have every match they've ever had. EY has added more ink to his arm for whatever reason. At this stage in TNA, I would think you'd want to save as much money as possible. EY lands a nice flying neckbreaker for 2. Sharpshooter from Roode is turned into a crossface. Roode Bomb hits and it only gets 2 Bram pulls the ref out. Beer Money double teams Bram mid-ring. EY jumps Storm, kicks Roode in the balls and piledrives him to win the title.

The Miracle talks to EC3 about being The Miracle, and EC3 stands up to this guy being an asshole - which should logically lead to EC3 being cheered because he's an asshole, but at least he's TNA's asshole. We get a long recap of the whole EC3-Matt saga from BFG onwards. Ken comes out and introduces his show. Anderson's Assholes is a thing again. Matt comes down with his wife and Ken gives him a folding chair. Matt mocks him for having no budget. After several endless minutes, Matt says he will offer EC3 something EC3 can't refuse. Reby is pissed and things just end. Christy and Drew are in the crowd and he says he has to beat Kurt to prove he's the best. Week two and Impact is already Filler-Mania.

EY and Bram cut a wacky, happy evil promo backstage. Bram keeps the 2006 bit running saying that's when Beer Money was relevant. Uno and the Wolves are up to face.. three folks in a six-man tag. They face DJZ, Eli, and Godderz.They tell a story of DJZ doing the hard work before the others come in. Davey gets a wacky ankle lock on DJZ while also doing an Indian deathlock to Eli. Adonis crab to Davey leads to DJZ superkicking him - so the faces win with a man advantage. This was guys doing moves. Jeff has a chat with Matt, but Reby pulls Matt away. EC3 comes down and Matt says they are life-long rivals. WHAT!? Matt says if he can't beat him, he'll leave TNA forever. EC3 makes it a last man standing match.

Drew comes out and then Kurt follows. Josh says he's the only man to be TNA, WWE, WCW, and IWGP World Champion. Well...no he wasn't - he won the IGF incarnation, which wasn't recognized by New Japan. He also faced Nakamura to unify them, and man was Nakamura totally different then - outside of the theme anyway. Drew knocks him down with tackles, leading to Captain Drew posing wackily. Drew chops him in the corner. Kurt gets a belly to belly and locks on a chinlock. Drew chops away mid-ring.

Drew gets a flying lariat off the top. Kurt gets a series of Germans. Five land and Drew fights out, but eats an Angle slam for 2. Ankle lock on Drew. Drew escapes and hits the Future Shock for 2. Drew avoids an ankle lock and gets a modified crossface. They fight to the floor and Angle belly to belly suplexes him on the railing. Claymore kick hits for 2. This a video game match with specials turned on constantly. A second one gets 2.5. They fight up top and Drew suplexes Kurt off the top from a tree of woe position. A second Angle slam hits for 2.5. Drew goes up top and gets caught with a sloppy Angle slam off the top to win. By the numbers good-ish match, but nothing special beyond maybe that barricade belly to belly. They hug and we get a preview of the LMS match.

Screens -

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