Tuesday, January 5, 2016

TNA Impact 1-5-16 - POP TV Debut

The show begins with a video on the Series. Dixie comes out with the belt.She cuts a promo thanking the fans and Pop TV. EC3 spoils things, and has Tyrus. Matt Hardy rambles about the TNA Title being his destiny. EY joins the heels and jumps Matt, but Matt comes back and Lashley makes a save. Lashley vs. EC3 opens the show. They had every match ever, but Tyrus distracts Lashley and EC3 wins with a distraction schoolboy. Roode cuts a promo in a cheap hoodie quoting Kid Rock and saying he has issued an open challenge for the KOTM Title. Kurt comes out and talks about his career. He says he is going to spend 2016 with Bellator as a commentator, but he still wants to wrestle in TNA - and rattles off the list of hall of famers he's faced. He runs down a billion guys NOT IN TNA, and then like five dudes in TNA. Kurt brawls a bit with Eli and Jessie, while Drew helps out. Angle faces Drew next week in a hand-picked dream match for Kurt. Jeff Hardy is a red-hoodied Smurf man saying words.
Matt has a fun little match with EY. EY lands a piledriver on the floor and Jeff checks on him. EY knocks Jeff down and goes up top, but jumps into an RKO...Twist for the win. Bram is out to challenge Roode for the KOTM Title. They brawl around ringside while the crowd is fairly hot. BRAM IS GOING TO FEAST ON THEIR BLOOD! Roode Bomb hits and Roode retains. EY jumps him while the wrong music plays - it's a beer opening. EY and Bram jump him, but Storm saves. Storm says that he left TNA because he didn't like who he was portraying - and it wasn't him. His granny told him it wasn't him - so James Storm's granny is a better writer than whoever came up with that. Storm cuts a darn fine little promo - full of passion. Storm tells Roode that they've drank a lot of Beer and made a lot of Money - it's time to have fun! YAY MORE BEER MONEY! TNA Greatest Hits Tour 2016 begins! Purple-shirted granny demands they reunite!

JB is in a newly-darkened room with the BPs, and a baby bump for Love. We get an ad for One Night Only - Live on the 8th. Storm and Roode cut a promo saying on PPV, they'll beat EY and Bram. OH MY GOD. AN AREA IN THE IMPACT ZONE WITH LIGHTS. IT DOES EXIST! Amazing. Hyper Christy talks with fans holding up POP TV signs. Rebel is the new leader of the Dollhouse, and they've kept their theme. Rebel is dressed as a stripper boat captain...why? Velvet and Madison are out and their partner...Oh...it's Gail...okay then. Fallaway slam by Jade to Gail. If you use the promo code POP on ShopTNA, you get 25% off your order. O'Connor roll gets the win after Gail kicks out of a glorious suplex by Jade.
 Kong attacks Gail and the BPs. EC3 vs. Matt is shown in a graphic. THE MIRACLE is next.The Miracle is Maria with a fancy intro. TNA is her place of worship and she is the first lady of pro wrestling. YES! MARIA cutting a great promo. Star-level presentation here too. This is her best promo yet, and what pro wrestling needs IS A MIRACLE! She believes in miracles, and we should too - his name is Mike Bennett. Bennett is out in a slick white suit with a great theme. This act works quite nicely and comes off as a genuine star act in TNA in 2016. Great look...other than the mustard yellow hat and the blue Nikes.
Pro wrestling is full of washed up pro wrestlers...like the ones in the previous matches tonight! He says he's pro wrestling's Jesus and the miracle in wrestling will be when he holds the TNA World Title. Maria and Bennett did their part there - good stuff. Matt and Reby talk to their baby and talks about DESTINY. Matt vs. EC3 is up next. Drew chats with Kurt, who calls himself an old lion who won't go without a fight. Wolves show some love for Kurt - and each wants a match with Kurt. This Friday, Drew and Kurt against the Wolves.

EC3 comes out first, followed by Matt - who gets a pre-match kiss from his wife Reby. Jeff says that he's man enough to leave, while Tyrus leaves too and TNA gleefully plugs their future home - Schitt's Creek. Is this a promo or the season 1 premiere!? Jesus. This just never ends. Angelina could conceive again and give birth by the time this promo ends. EC3 gets thrown into the steps, which the cameras nearly miss. LOL @ them having all of those POP signs right on the announce table. Also, EC3 got tossed over the table. Twist attempt is countered into a One Percenter attempt. EC3 gets a falcon arrow for 2.5. Shitty side effect "hits" on the steps and Matt gets 2 off a moonsault. Pope and Josh treating this like Tana vs. Okada is something else. Side effect gets 2 again. EC3 gets a TKO and lands a second one. Matt counters the TKO into a Twist. This match = everyone has unlimited specials and keeps hitting Triangle and R2 every now and then. Dropkick sets up the One Percenter and it only gets 2. Josh's voice is failing him. Pope actually calls this a match of the year candidate. Twist hits for 2. Super Twist is avoided thanks to Matt slipping and EC3 wins with a super One Percenter. EC3 - at least the second person to be undefeated in TNA and yet a two-time World Champion. Matt greets his wife and kid with...a punch!? Almost. How odd. Reby appears to have too much work done on her face.

Screens -

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