UR Fight 3-20-16 Live Coverage

The pre-show video showcases some of Rey's cars, masks, and concludes with him posing and then riding away on a hoverboard. Pretty cool. Vyron's "Prepare for the worst, but expect the best!" seems fitting for this show. The paid livestream starts with the free stuff, and then JIM ROSS talks about us having four big main events here tonight. Ross, Rampage, and Sean Wheelock are at ringside!

They run down tonight's card and we get Justin Roberts saying PHOENIX ARIZONA over and over. God, they should've gotten someone named John on this show for Roberts. Someone named Laura Walsh is doing the national anthem in booty shorts and stockings. She's got a good voice though. MMA is the opener, and it looks like they'll be doing everything in a ring. We get a glimpse of Shannon Ritch's...wow are they shitty.

Jim Ross points out that Mavrick is north of 40 and should look good here. For the second time in 10 minutes, he talks about the importance of taking the money. Shannon Ritch's crew has a bunch of his belts with them. Sean says that Mavrick is 48 and worried about his conditioning. No shit.

 

They fight briefly and Mavrick rocks him in the ropes and Ritch goes out - so he gets wedgied back in! Ritch goes for an RNC and Mavrick taps. Wedgie was worth it! "That was a very exciting fight - we got a wedgie and a tapout!" Mavrick is a wacky promo. "I'VE BEEN IN A HOSPITAL FOR THREE DAYS AND THAT DOCTOR REHYDRATED ME!" Holy Jesus.

We see the URShow announcing closet, with a cheap lamp on the desk. Wheelock does a bit with Bisping and Chael talking about what they'll do tonight. Rey slowly exercises backstage while Jim talks about how he's still in his prime. Bisping vs. Sonnen is up next. NO WALKOUT FOR CHAEL P!? We hear a bit of his song, which seems to just be gong over the house mic with something less than the Marshall speakers we use at Best Buy to get music through the store.

 

I'd say "well, they're doing an awful job of showing parts of the building with no fans", but there is seemingly no good angle to use. How exactly would one go about calling "his hand slipped off his opponent's wrists in various ways for 5 minutes"? Bisping leads with his head for a bit to close the first round. Another shot of the ring after this shows just how low rent this looks.

Bisping gets distracted by someone and Chael gets a double-leg. If this was Raw, that would lead to a finish. Instead, he gets it in the rope. Bisping doing something like this shows just how fucked guys are with the loss of sponsors. JR says he'll channel Gordon Solie tonight and Sean says he had two favorite commentators - he's next to one, and Gordon was the other - so he'll try to work in "pier six brawl". We get another awful shot of the crowd.

 

 

JR says that if it was up to him, only the winner would get paid. Rampage says he likes that idea and JR says "nah, I like to keep my money". Gotta love taking money from the money marks and mocking them for it ON THE SHOW THEY'RE PAYING YOU FOR. Larry Zybisko is telling these guys to do something. That's how little has gone on. This closes with a draw after a kick. So we got a slap and a kick in this grappling contest. So after all that, it's a draw. Kinda odd to start with the MMA fight and then go to the lesser version of that in theory with the grappling match. Bisping apologizes for the match. LOL @ Sonnen using this show to promote UFC and then THE URSHOW ANNOUNCER talks about hyping up UFC too. Chael says that he's retired in MMA - so even though his suspension is up soon, he's done.

Off-mic, but not quite - Wheelock says he loves grappling and was sorry for that. Rampage marks out over doing a show with Jim Ross. Colby Ortiz vs. Brandon Tierney is up. Brandon Tierney GIF incoming! HE COMES DOWN TO "LEROY BROWN" DANCING! Ortiz gets a kick to the head when Brandon's down and shots to the spine and back of the head. So we've got at least THREE ILLEGAL BLOWS in this fight so far. Missed round 2 due to my mouse not working properly - so my window with the show in it couldn't be brought up. It got to round 3 though. Tierney gets kicked down and the ground and pound wins it. Colby sure looked like he whooped some ass - but this was fun. Rey promo about loving his matches with Kurt in the past.

 

 

  Good to see that Riff Raff shops at the same $200 suit shop as Rockstar Spud. Oh my fucking God was this awful, but hilarious. Angle comes out to "America the Beautiful" while Jim Ross buries that saying he isn't sure if the fans are cheering Kurt or booing Riff Raff's exit. Rey has new gear with the Lucha Underground font - which really freshens up his look. LOL at Rey having El Rey's logo on his gear to make El Rey Mysterio.

 

Angle pushes him to the corner to start. Hilarious what exchange between JR and Rampage. Angle is working as a heel here - punching Rey. Rey is grounded with a headlock takerover after Rey hit one of his own earlier. Tilt a whirl backbreaker to Rey! Kurt gets the overhead belly to belly perfectly. Wheelbarrow bulldog by Rey. "Looks like he hurt his own ass doing that!" "I wouldn't do something that would hurt my own ass - just sayin!" VIVA LA RAMPAGE! Crossbody misses and Angle hits an Angle slam to GET THE FIRST FALL WIN - and that's the first time one Angle Slam got a pin after only one attempt in years.

Angle gets a chinlock and Rampage calls it and everything done illegal. Rey gets a 619 and a splash off the top to score a pin and bring this to 1-1. Jim Ross teasing a DQ over punching fills me with great joy. Ankle lock, but it leads to a cradle for 2. Angle slam gets 2. 619 and a splash get 2. Round 3 - callbacks to rounds 1 and 2 get nearfalls now. Rolling Germans countered with a rollup for 2. Ref bump leads to Angle hitting a low blow. "THAT MOTHERFUCKER. HE'S GONNA HIT THE LITTLE GUY WITH A CHAIR!" Riff Raff distracts Angle. 619 and a splash gets 3. This was wacky. Cheap lamps are gone.

 

We get an awful shot of the crowd showing no fans there. More comedy from Rampage. "Brock Lesnar's tattoo is the opposite of this guy's tattoo - this one's looks like a vagina! THE WHOLE PACKAGE!" RJJ's promo buries critics. Vyron lands a few nice combos to the body. Roy Jones Jr. lands a big right hand to close the round - and if that went another minute, he'd have been done. Roy lands another huge shot after about a minute of round 2 and that's it - walkaway knockout. "Roy Jones Jr playing the role of Shawn Michaels with some Sweet Chin Music tonight!" Post-fight shows Roy comparing himself to Jordan. Vyron talks about Roy Jones Jr and says that he's one of the best ever, and hopes he just does coaching so he doesn't get hurt. We get a quick highlight reel of tonight's matches. JR's description of Riff Raff was amazing. "Riff Raff, the man in the large peach-colored outfit relieved Kurt of the chair". The show ends to another quick highlight reel - now with new angles of RIFF RAFF and some big-tittied chick in a bikini dancing in a lucha mask.

 

 

 

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