Monday, March 21, 2016

WWE Raw 3-21-16

Raw is dedicated to Mary Katharine Stewart - a 21, maybe 22 year old who passed away. I presume she's the daughter of a long-time employee. Recap of the Roman-HHH brawl. They sure love repeating phrases in this thing. WEEKS FOR THIS! WEEKS FOR THIS! WEEKS FOR THIS! WEEKS FOR THIS! Steph mom dancing to her own theme is amusing. Thank God that's more important than the show being actually good. Steph says that HHH won't be here because of CORPORATE RESPONSIBLITIES - not because Roman kicked his ass or anything. Roman interrupts and gets booed out of the building. Once again, coming out of the crowd - which is something he should only do after he turns heel. Roman says he's taking the title and stops Steph from slapping him. SKYLANDERS SUPERCHARGED PRESENTS AJ STYLES VS. KEVIN OWENS!


Recap of AJ losing to Owens thanks to Jericho on SD. Basic stuff to start and Owens tosses him into the barricade for a break. Chinlock city after the break. POP-UP RANA BY AJ! AJ eats a big lariat and responds with big forearms for a second break. KO wins via distraction finish again. Owens talks about KOMania and Dolph comes down, then Miz does, Sami too. Dean vs. Braun is coming tonight. DEAN AND TERRY! Dean is so the top guy right now and they don't even know it. Dean chainsaws up a table good! Owens asks Steph for permission to make a triple threat and the guy who wins gets to face him at WM. Legends yammer on about HIAC for a bit.

League of Nations are out and yammer. New Day is out and has jokes. LoN laughs at them to mock htem, which was great. E vs. Rusev is up. Big E murders him with the apron splash. E is a scary-strong dude and overhead belly to belly suplex Rusev. Giant jumping spinkick to E! ST-Joe by E. Rusev lands a big Cro Cop kick after kneeing E in the head to avoid the apron spear. Warrior splash by E gets 2. Rusev goes for the Accolade, but E electric chairs him down.  Suicide spear to Sheamus. RIP Big E's neck on that suicide spear. Faces, of course, cheat to win when Woods attacks Rusev and the Big Ending wins. Wyatts say big scary words for a while.

Thank God, here is the Big Show to add excitement to Raw in 2016. Social Outcasts interrupt him. THIS IS SOMETHING ON A SHOW TO WM. Geeks beat him up, but Kane saves. #herecomesthedemonkanetosavebigshow is trending. Show and Kane hugging was amusing. I sense a heel to turn to end the amusement. Yup. Kane turned on Show. Stan Hansen HOF announcement. God, even the HOF stuff feels like pure filler. They used to at least do profile videos to make you familiar with the acts. Now, it's "NEWS COMPANY X REPORTED PERSON Y, HERE'S 20 SECONDS OF FOOTAGE. CARE DAMMIT!"

Fandango vs. Jericho is up, yet not announced as a WM rematch. Fantastic selling of the Codebreaker wins. Jericho threatens a guy and AJ says that Jericho's the best in the world at running from him. AJ says he's competed all over the world - but hasn't competed at WM yet. "GET OFF YOUR PHONE, IDIOT!" Jericho is great berating the fans. Taker vs. Shane nostalgia trip video. We aren't getting Shane flying off shit or Taker diving over the top. Just show Taker beating the shit out of people to keep expectations reasonable for this thing. We get Shane O training muay thai and BJJ with Renzo Gracie hyping him up. Yet another airing of the first Shane-Taker video. 

Ryder vs. Sin Cara vs. Stardust is up for KOMania. Owens's parade of geeks is definitely going to be changed to ALL OF THESE GEEKS, AND MORE at WM. Owens says that each of these guys COULD get a shot here. Owens gets involved and we get a NO CONTEST IN A TRIPLE THREAT. Two hours ago, we had no KOMania and we still have no KOMania. Amazing use of TV time. Steph helps Owens lose some weight by cutting his balls off and makes the multi-man ladder match for the IC Title at WM. Steph being anti-heel makes her a face...right?

Steph meets with HHH in his car...and Roman jumps HHH and beats his ass in a cowardly attack. SmackDown recap of the divas talking segment. Becky looks far better in jeans and a tanktop - and that's not entirely due to her ass hanging out of the jeans. Nattie vs. Charlotte is up. Natural Selection wins. Usos vs. Dudleyz is made for WM. Bubba gets an ECW chant and says he'll bust Truth up. Bubba is great at talking smack mid-match. Bubba wins with the full nelson bomb and Goldust makes a save - but he gets beaten up, so the Usos save. Vince is out. "Shane is the most formidable opponent The Undertaker has ever had at WrestleMania! Vince calls Taker his bitch and says that if Taker doesn't win, it will be Taker's last WM. Dean vs. Braun. Dena low-bridges him. Dean gets his ass beat until he beats him up with a chair. "THIS IS BO-RING!" chant. Wow. This was a clusterfuck of a show and just so boring.

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