Monday, July 8, 2013

Raw 7-8-13

The Wyatts debut tonight! New vid for them started the show, followed by the "regular" Raw intro they rarely air. Brickie is in the ring with a ladder. Vickie's talking about historic guys who used ladders...LIKE HHH! That fits the suck up gimmick, but still seems odd. She climbed the ladder with heels on, and rambled about female leaders in companies, like GE. King interrupted her and talked about THE UNIVERSE being able to vote for her to be kept or fired. Vickie's big job-saving main event involving Cena and Henry standing in the ring together. Also, MATCHES! Christian-Kane, Orton-Punk, and Sheamus-Bryan is next. They showed a highlight reel of RVD at the WM 22 MITB after Bryan came out. Cole talked about "downloiding" the app during Bryan-Sheamus. King and JBL had a great exchange about "Dr. Leonard Skinner" and " the guy who used to hunt gators.". King trended and JBL wondered if it was with dialup votes. He's having a good night so far. Bryan's head slammed into the barricade off a dive catch for an ad break.

They came back and Sheamus did a surprising flying back elbow smash. Don't recall him doing that before. Bryan hit the suicide dive and got YES chants alongside barricade slapping. White Noise was sorta blocked, so Sheamus kept ramming his back into the buckle. He got freed though, and Bryan kicked his head off. He went for the diving headbutt, but pointed at the case too long and missed. Great action here. They've gone at it for over 15 minutes so far. A clumsy crucifix led to a Yes Lock, then a cloverleaf that was turned into a cradle and a win for Mr. Small Package! sent a reporter to the Wyatt compound and...had to ask for directions from some weirdos. Okay then.

They showed AJ costing Kaitlyn a match via schoolgirl just like Kaitlyn did to her before. AJ told Big E, in a glorious white and blue shirt, to watch out for any thunderous hoof sounds. She met with Dolph and he said he was going to go all the his third world title win. Maybe he'll be able to defend the title once the third time around. Henry ass-whooping time vid aired as did a threatening TWITTER EXCHANGE. Shield is out now for a tag match. They showed some RVD-Eddie clips from their crazy Raw ladder match. I forgot about that match, but I'm sure it's on his DVD set. Maybe I'll watch that later. Tons of Funk faces the Shield here. JBL talked about the McGuire Twins. Crowd died for this until Tensai got a huge comeback, then speared for a loss. Henry-Cena staredown is next.

More with the Wyatt compound search. Giant red-bearded dude had a pickaxe, and Luke Harper freaked the camera guy out and told him to come with him. Cena came out and sadly wasn't destroyed by Henry coming out doing his wacky I LOVE THIS CITY SO MUCH bit. Cena talked about how tonight's excitement is like MITB is tonight and not Sunday. Cena was a dickhead to Henry, and Henry said instead of whooping him, he'd chill. Cena cut what was supposed to be a money promo, but came off as comedy due to his silly execution. Henry talked about lines Cena wouldn't cross, and then Cena yelled about HOW. YOU COULD. NOT CARE. ABOUT THIS! And then Cena stripped and made a line in the ring for a fight. Henry said he's taken pay cuts - he ain't fighting for free! Henry complied with Cena and attacked him, then flattened him on an AA attempt. So I guess Cena hits that with Henry on the ropes on the PPV. WSS hit perfectly. Crowd responded with a ONE MORE TIME chant and Henry held the belt proudly. GO HENRY! Orton cut a boring promo with Josh about Punk not being the best in the world. Orton's beard is greying.

The Call was the #1 most rented movie all week. Steph and her Queendom song tweeted about Vickie. Miz was out on commentary and literally said HELLO!? like a child who wasn't getting the right amount of attention. Jericho came out to face Axel, and they did an awesome job with the makeup on Heyman. Jericho's hair is something else here. They did some moves and went to a break with Axel on offense. They came back and showed Axel doing a mid-air dropkick counter in a super-tiny screen from the app, which was nearly impossible to make out. They talked about how Axel's trying to add Jericho to his list of beaten superstars...didn't he already beat him on SD? Perfecplex and Axe Cutter got 2. Nice punches to the back of Jericho's head from Axel after all that. Miz talked about the Walls hurting as much as any submission, so it's no more effective than any other move? Codebreaker led to the first loss for Axel, which they at least hyped up.

Another great RVD showcased his Raw IC Title match with Christian, which had a crazy frog splash off the ladder. They should really re-release that RVD set soon to make some money off him, or just add a disc with newer stuff since it's a fairly old set. They teased a face turn for Cody with Sandow preventing him from talking. Zeb came in, and then Barrett got involved in a wacky bit. Everyone told Fandango to not say his name. He tried and got elbowed by maybe he's winning. The next Wyatt compound vid showed Bray, and had some nice shots in it. They're nixing the bug during these.

Sin Cara got a partial intro to face Alberto. I have a feeling the recap of Dolph at the fiesta may last longer than this match. Crowd is dead for it. The announcers are just talking about Twitter handles. They talked about masks and brought up the post-Dashing Cody mask. Thank the lord above, Dolph came out and they somehow missed Sin Cara going for a cradle pin on him. Then Dolph just rambeld and this shit died more deaths. Alberto and Dolph brawled. This wasn't a DQ for some reason. Or maybe it was. This just ended with Dolph's music playing. Vickie and Brad are coming out for the job evaluation.

SD WAS MORE SOCIALLY ACTIVE THAN DATELINE! Vince came out with a green blazer with HHH and Steph. Cole said that Steph COULD BE ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT. How? Steph called Vickie the Supervising GM, which is not her title. Vickie took credit for RVD, the Rock, and Taker's return to WM. Steph scolded her for lying and blamed her for Brock being back. Vickie apologized for that, although Vince told her that wasn't needed. He was glad Brock came back. HHH, who I think is a face, bullied her. HHH made a Golden Girls reference. Steph was forced to cast the deciding vote, and she passed the buck onto THE WWE UNIVERSE! Steph, a mother herself, took great pride in firing Vickie. Then Vince said the crowd failed because they threw away the most entertaining GM in Raw history. Vince made Brad the GM. His deer in the headlights look ruled. This took TWENTY MINUTES though.

Outstanding vid of the 4-team TLC match on Raw with RVD busting out the Van Terminator. Kane came out to face Christian, who got a Michael McGullicutty tron for a second. They're doing moves. The crowd couldn't care less. Cole is rattling off facts. They showed some Tweets, and they should really fix the typos in them. #grammarnazi. Big dive from Christian led to an ad break. They came back and Kane won with a chokeslam. This was in theory, bad for Christian, but no one will remember the match. Bray appeared on the tron. THEY'RE HERE. Bathed in darkness outside of the lantern, they came down the ramp and got a huge reaction. They beat him down and the crowd chanted for Bryan to come out. Bray relaxed on his rocking chair while they did the "head trapped between two sets of steps" deal that would be impressive if it wasn't for the massive gap between the steps and whoever they attack. Other than that and the Husky Harris chant afterwards, this ruled.

A new, outstanding Henry-Cena recap vid aired. Then they recapped the Wyatts and showed Vickie leaving with her things. Ryback, with a new combat vest, hugged her. This was wacky. The Bellas' boobs, with apparently matching implants, came out to commentate AJ and Alicia against Kaitlyn and Layla. Cole asked why they were yawning, so I guess he wasn't watching the match. They talked about ratings, and AJ got speared out of her boots on the floor by Kaitlyn. Then her music played and the match just ended. I guess endings to matches don't matter. Big E carrying AJ's limp body was amusing. Punk cut a boring promo with Josh while Orton came out.

RVD's WWE Title win was shown as the final highlight for him - well, that was about the pinnacle of his career in some ways. Green Lantern fan got a cameo in this. Standard Punk-Orton match here made better by the crowd caring about it. Punk hit one of his best Savage elbows yet here - drilled his face with it. Orton and Punk tried a backslide, but it wasn't to be and instead Punk got a snap powerslam the second Orton turned around. Crazy reflexes from Orton there. RKO countered with a high knee to the face. Nice. GTS gets the win for Punk. Bryan came out and kicked his ass to a YES chant. This was rather dickish. And then he beat dudes up with the ladder, climbed it, and grabbed the case. So much for him winning on the PPV.

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