Friday, July 12, 2013

SD 7-12-13

The regular SD intro is starting things again, which still seems odd after months of them doing the expository one for so long. Sheamus-Orton is tonight's main event...for some reason. They showed Bryan being a complete dickhead to Punk and Orton on Raw. Cole can't IMAGINE AN MITB MORE ANTICIPATED THAN about Punk's 2 years ago? Christian's black, purple, and white gear looks sharp - WWE should use purple more for their own stuff. It looks more modern than their black, white, and red-heavy logo. Christian got a missile dropkick 2 minutes in and was already doing the clapping bit. Cole talked about Cena failing with his cash-in ONE YEAR AGO at Raw 1,000. It doesn't feel like a year since 3 hour Raws became the norm. Flying knee led to the ad break, where they ran a post-MITB Raw ad. Hard to believe the show is only 2 days away. AMAZING bump over the top rope by Christian. Cole said the Yes/No lock is now the Yes lock, or maybe the schitzo lock. Bossman-style uppercut to prevent the suicide dive from Bryan. Great spot there.

Christian's tornado DDT was blocked leading to the swank kicking combo which Christian escape for a spear attempt which itself was countered into MORE KICKING. This is a super-fun match so far. Corner dropkick led to him going for it again only to eat a spear instead. This is awesome chant is breaking out. Allie oop into the buckle led to the sunset flip attempt off the top being countered into the Yes lock. THIS RULED. Teddy was on the phone in another expository conversation about the show. Dolph is dressed in a black blazer and a black and grey shirt that may or may not be AJ Styles'. Dolph was given the night off and told that Sin Cara faces Alberto, and Teddy wasn't to be fired like Vickie, so he banned him from ringside. Dolph said he'd be champ at the PPV. I hope so, because the title feels worthless on Alberto. Vickie recap vid is coming after the break.

Rollins is out for a match with an Uso. THE PRE-SHOW IS ON TWITTER. Nice little match here, with the Shield getting foiled by the brothers. The Uso got crotched on the rope and hit with the flying curb stomp. Great-looking finisher there. NOW the Vickie vid is up. It's the same overly-long deal from ME. Axel-Jericho is up next in a fine example of a match being given a reason for happening and yet no build beyond IT'S NEXT!

Nope, first we need to know that SD WAS MORE SOCIALLY ACTIVE THAN DATELINE! They showed Axel and Miz's deal on Raw, and I noticed that King's monitor just had WWE's logo on it constantly. Miz looks like an annoying douche in his MITB graphic hype video. Ryback faces Miz later. GO RYBACK! Codebreaker turned into the stun gun by Axel. That's the first time I recall that counter, and it's a great one for a mid-sized guy like him to use. This led to the ad break. Axel seems so much more comfortable as a semi-main event guy than a sorta-main event one. Nice forearm rub into Jericho's face when they came back. Ditto the SAY HI TO JERICHO taunt leading to rope crossfaces. Short back suplex looked rather vicious by Axel. JBL talked about Axel being a relative rookie compared to Jericho, which just seems odd since they're only 9 years apart in age. Walls leads to a cradle and a 2. Run-up enzuiguri got 2 for Jericho. HUGE backdrop over the top bump from Axel. This has been an outstanding hour of TV matches. Axel hit the Axe and said I TOLD YA JERICHO! Codebreaker on the ropes led to a countout win for Jericho. This really put the Codebreaker over as a huge move and I like it when a countout also shows that someone could've beaten someone legitimately. Axel mildly damaged the announcing area afterwards showing some rage. This was great stuff. Hopefully this leads to another Jericho-Axel match, preferably where Axel sends Jericho out of action. Wyatt vid is coming up later. Miz is out and his intro gets an ad break while they FINALLY SHOW MITB hype up watching the PPV on your phone.

Miz's tan is all over the place. His stomach is dark, but his pecs are pasty-white. They showed Ryback quitting via kicks to the leg nearly 2 weeks ago. Amazing. And it gets better - they showed him getting hit with a Codebreaker afterwards. Odd to not have Ryback do anything to Jericho given that this match is happening right after Jericho's. This started with Ryback being outwrestled in a collar-and-elbow tie-up with Miz. Nice snap slam from Ryback, who got major Goldberg chants. Head bash. This is dragging. Basic slam. Ryback is sucking wind. Running knee from Miz missed by a mile. Yakuza kick didn't. KneeDT led to the kicks to the leg in the corner again. This beating is way more severe than the Raw one - they should've used this for it instead of just the lame kicks before. Ryback said he heard something pop, but valiantly said to not stop it. He faked out Miz, hit the clothesline and Shellshock to win. They kept up with him having an injury by hobbling with each move, and that he wasn't faking the injury, but instead outsmarted Miz. They should've done this whole deal from the start without him quitting. Renee welcomed her guest at this time, Sheamus, who will tonight be facing Randy Orton, one of his opponents in the all-stars MITB match. Sheamus, instead of talking about facing his Celtic Vipers partner, told jokes and filling the case with alcohol. He thinks she's cute, too. AJ and Kaitlyn's giant boobs walked backstage for THE FIRST-EVER DIVAS TITLE CONTRACTS SIGNING.

All of the divas, and Big E, are in the ring for this for whatever reason. Maybe so Teddy can exposit about things. AJ won me over with OH LOOKIE COOKIE, THE SISTERHOOD OF THE SPARKLY PANTS IS HERE! AJ was sadly stifled by Teddy. Kaitlyn signed and the fans booed. AJ's now threatening Kaitlyn with texts to her admirer. She apparently said stuff about Nattie, and the Funkadactyls. Then Big E, A WHIZ WITH TECH AND FINGER POINTING, pointed to the tron with another text. Odd that no one is actually saying that AJ, THE HEEL, could be lying about these things. EGADS, THEY SHOWED A CLOSE-UP OF KAITLYN'S LIPS! Loved her talking shit to AJ, standing up to AJ by trapping her in the corner with the table, then SLAPPING THE SHIT OUT OF BIG E and spearing the daylights out of AJ. This was shockingly great stuff. Fandango faces Barrett tonight due to their skit on Raw.

Barrett got no intro, while Zeb and THE REAL AMERICANS are out. Summer Rae's orange outfit is hot, and a fan's finger sign made me think that they need to make him some foam fingers. The stupid Raw skit was shown. Loved Zeb saying he isn't Sylvia Browne - he can't predict the future when Cole asked what would happen if it came down to Cesaro and Swagger. Fandango danced away from Barrett at one point. Zeb insulted the Rhodes Scholars saying they couldn't even pass a GED test. Fandango's gear now has fringe on it, which is even better. TRS came out. It is impossible to pay attention to the match, which is fine since it ended with a schoolboy. Mid-card SD match ends with a schoolboy. Shocking. Fandango's coming off like a smart babyface here. THERE WAS NO CONTROL HERE, or when the Wyatts debuted on Raw. Kane won't be competing in the MITB match. I'm fine with that - gives the show another hook with a replacement and puts over the Wyatts as a violent group even if the attack itself was a bit silly. Same recap vid from ME aired.

THE GREATEST STARS OF THE '90S DVD is in the top 10 of the week for sports DVD. Why, I have no idea since it's from '09. Maybe it's on super-sale at Wal-Mart or something. Alberto came out and they showed fans holding the title up high in tribute to him. Sin Cara came out and was shockingly pale compared to usual. JBL talked about it not being him. Cole talked about him showing off and hitting the Zig Zag and how it COULDN'T BE ZIGGLER since Teddy told him he couldn't come out here. And that he's just having fun like Dolph. This was the best wacky Dolph bit yet. Vickie screeched about shit. She had a ticket, but since she ripped it up, she was ejected. And also, just having a ticket doesn't allow you to be around ringside. Didn't seem to affect Cena when he was fired. This seemed rather pointless.

RVD hype vid aired. It's strange to see RVD get the biggest build ever in WWE at this point in his career, but they're handling it perfectly. Teddy met with Sin Cara, with black hair behind the mask, while Dolph showed up and Cole did his goofy fake laugh. Main event is up. Sheamus came out and they said the All-Stars match was now just down to 6 guys. Sheamus and Orton exchanged strikes, went to the floor and Orton went to throw him into the steps before Sheamus blocked with his foot, then walked right into a clothesline. Nice spot. MITB on the app ad replayed. Orton's chinlock brought it back from the ad break. ON THE WWE APP, THE NEW WAY TO WATCH TV, showed Orton smacking Sheamus's back on the barricade. So why he went for a chinlock instead of a back-affecting move is beyond me. Chinlock with a bodyscissors now. Somehow, AJ was trying to blackmaiil Katilyn according to Cole. How, I have no idea since she never really made her do anything in exchange for not showing them. Stun gun led to the clubbering. Finlay roll came out right after that, in a new way of doing existing spots. Sheamus got crotched on top after the first attempt at the superplex was blocked. How he's slugging his way out of it again, but it leads to them tumbling to the floor. Bryan's out with a ladder again. He hit them both with a ladder, leading to a DQ or something. Sheamus prevented Bryan from climbing, while Christian prevented him from climbing. Then Christian climbed, but was topped by Sheamus...this is absolutely ridiculous SINCE THIS CASE HAS NOTHING IN IT. Bryan tipped Christian OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER to the ropes to send him down. RKO stopped Bryan from climbing again, so Orton could get it. This was really goofy. It made sense for Byan to do this on Raw since he's overcoming the weak link deal, but everyone else doing this made them seem a bit stupid.

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