Monday, June 22, 2015

Raw 6-22-15

WAHOO! BROCK IS STARTING THE SHOW! Brock's intro is interrupted by clips of Seth and HHH talking last week, and then Brock's own intro... Heyman introduces fans who might've missed out a refresher course for Brock kicking ass. This is seriously the second recap in six minutes. Heyman says that WWE doesn't want Brock's money - just an apology. Brock has to apologize to Cole and JBL, and if he doesn't, he won't get his title shot. So then why show the graphic for the match?


JBL looking scared shitless shaking Brock's hand was great. Brock gave him a noogie. Someone was paid money to come up with "beast for business". Heyman said that Seth's trip to suplex city has been paid for by BROCK LESNAR! Roman faces Sheamus tonight because Sheamus beat him on SD. DEAN AMBROSE FACES KANE NEXT!Damn that Kane, throwing Dean into steel steps that can take over 1,000 pounds of pressure! Kane's on offense after the break. Whew! Dean runs wild with punches and chops. Diving lariat off the apron for Dean. Seth comes down in new black and silver gear, and Kane wins with a chokeslam. God, could these announcers just talk instead of yelling everything? Cena-Owens II recap. JOHN CENA RETURNS tonight. But first, Seth and Kane have a chat. Kane doesn't buy Seth's crap.

Recap of Roman-Bray from MITB, Raw, and SD. Good singing voice on Bray. I still don't care about any of this, but I wouldn't mind seeing him on Lip Sync Battle. PTPs are out for a match with some team next. Titus Dad of the Year recap video! Titus slammed Gut. Skinny was tossed around like a ragdoll. D-Young won with a terrible discus elbow and double knee gutbuster. Roman and Sheamus do some stuff for an ad break. I predict chinlock when we return.

YES! Cripes, the bump off that apron dropkick lariat counter! Sheamus's left shoulder is beaten to death. He's got a nasty bruise there, and a series of bruises on his back. Multiple Irish Curses into rope-bound forearms for Sheamus. Roman gets some elbows and...then hurts himself with a back suplex. Bad planning there. Bray has a tea party, but they don't show who it's with - so everyone thinks it's Roman's daughter. See - if Roman was patient and just waited the two seconds for the camera guy to show the empty rocking chair, he wouldn't have lost that match.

Replay of this idiocy. Detective Roman should probably open some doors. Or not - he found Bray's area, and it just has Bray singing in a loop and photos of Roman with the eyes and mouths cut out. Okay then. Seth meets with his former goons, who are around...why now? J and J reject Seth. Riveting. Neville's out for whatever.  These Today clips are even worse than Raw's scripted deals. "What Byron, what!? Wow. Cole is pissed at Byron for something. Kofi's wacky clap is GIF-worthy. Xavier now has a camera and takes shots of Kofi on offense! PTPs come out to even the odds for Neville for a break, but the ref tosses out the PTPs and then finally doing the same for E and Woods. High kick> Red Arrow. Yes, all of that bullshit was really needed for a Neville vs. Kofi Kingston match. Recap of Owens attacking MGK.

RYACK FACES MARK HENRY TONIGHT! Great ad for THE BEAT IN THE EAST! COMING SOON JOHN CENA AND CRITICS ARE TALKING ABOUT MR. ROBOT. Barrett is facing Ryder in his combo Majors Bros/Edgehead/Broski gear. Elbow up top wins. The 2015 King of the Ring is now OFFICIALLY better than Zack Ryder. And here we all thought the guy was doomed. Nice clips of a Brock vs. Seth interview. Not that I'd like to see the whole thing instead of Henry vs. Ryback or Barrett vs. Ryder, but that might've been a more productive use of a global TV deal given that they're paying Brock seven figures and would theoretically like to make a return on that investment.

This Cena deal is so great - makes the US Title seem important and makes you also want a Cena World Title match/run again at some point too. Cena yammers on for a while about the US Title being a symbol of excellence. Words words words. Somehow, Cena is now the underdog in this match. Owens comes out and says he's been called out of shape by some and a dirtbag by Cena, but he beat Cena a month ago and left him laying at MITB. Owens cut a promo in French to ensure Cena got cheered- glorious! JBL talks about these two have put two classics together...why? Steph and HHH put over Owens and Seth says that he hurt his family in the Authority. HHH cuts a great promo on/for Seth about apologizing to them.

Recap of Paige's awful stuff last week with the Bellas. Bellas are out with Alicia to face...some team who we aren't shown due to the clip. Naomi and Tamina...woo boy will this be a thing. I think they muted the ring mic for a while because there was no audio for bumps for a bit. Nikki gets a big babyface comeback, despite being a heel. Rear View to Brie, but Nikki tosses Tamina into Naomi's ass. Rack Attack gets the win. Terminator: Weird Spelling ad with Roman stuff in there too.

Show's out for commentary on Ryback-Henry. Miz vs. Show vs. Ryback is announced for the PPV. WHY IS MIZ GETTING A TITLE SHOT NOW!? They do some stuff until a break while Show ponders how Miz got a title shot. Ryback gets a meathook and wins with a splash. Riveting. Henry and Show argued, and since they're good, this was pretty interesting. And then Show just left. Tough Enough hype. JoJo said words. To Ryback. Who tried to get Flyback over. Ryback said his parents haven't spoken in 15 years, but him winning this title got them together. Damn - they're doing a great job with this, and it's a pleasant surprise. Show comes in and they brawl. I hope Miz just comes in here and gets in like one sissy kick and runs away. Nope - Show gets tossed into pipes.

Ryback-Show recap. Dolph, the living Reading Rainbow, is out for a match with someone already in the ring. Adam Rose - who got one second of screentime is the victim. Byron calls Dolph and Lana Zack and Kelly. Lana looks great with toned-down makeup. Superkick gets the win. Rusev threw his crutches in anger and fell on his ass, but Summer gave him one. Boy has he fallen. Goons talked backstage while HHH talked more.

Seth comes out and wants to apologize to everyone he's wronged one by one. And thank God, they all get intros. Goons come out with Kane. Beiber chant. Seth tells Kane he gets better with age. Brock comes to save us! Seth's goons leave. Maybe Dalton Castle's boys can help Seth. Brock takes Kane down! Brock massacres J and J! JBL calls Brock the Ultimate Fighting Machine! Seth goes to suplex city! GLORIOUS German for the third time with a deadlift and a flip sell! Kane saves Seth and shoves Brock with a choke and hits a chokeslam. GERMAN TO KANE! Kane clips the knee to prevent another F5! They attack the knee with the post and a chair. They attack for seemingly decades. Awful Pedigree to Brock ends things. Well, they needed to make you think that Seth could beat Brock - and they did that tonight.

1 comment:


    Professional trading signals delivered to your mobile phone daily.

    Start following our signals NOW & gain up to 270% per day.