Monday, June 29, 2015

WWE Raw 6-29-15

Long recap of last week's Raw led to Seth and the goon squad coming out for a promo. JBL yelled about HASHTAG MONDAY NIGHT ROLLINS! He talks for a while about power. Seth puts over Jamie and then gives them all Apple Watches. Seth sent Kane on a vacation, and he wants to use it to throw animals into a volcano. Seth gave his goons a Cadillac. Show came down while they honked the horn for ages and he's facing Henry, who's a face here. Recap of Show and Ryback brawling last week. Show gets corner punches, Miz is on commentary, and Show KOs Henry. Miz is either on lots of cocaine or he's in give no fucks mode. This meta Scream series ad is bizarre. Ryback gets his match with Miz...maybe. Yup. They had a nothing match and Miz left so Ryback got a countout win.

Alicia vs. Paige - Bellas are heels here. Alicia got the edge before the break, but Paige won with a fluke rollup and Alicia's right shoulder not even being down. Cena's out for the open challenge next. Owens comes out. I hope Owens just kicks him in the balls here. Better yet - we're getting Cesaro-Cena! Love Cesaro hitting Rick Steiner's mid-leapfrog counter powerslam. He gets 2 off the Cesaro deadlift gutwrench. Owens is so great on commentary. Cesaro gets 2 off a slick second rope elbow drop for an ad break.

Cesaro goes for a sharpshooter, but Cena counters that and the swing. Springboard stunner gets 2. Cesaro gets 2 off the VE uppercut. Iffy sharpshooter is turned into a perfect one out of an AA! CESAROPLEX gets 2. Cena counters a crossbody with a facebuster for 2! That was new. OKADA DROPKICK FROM CESARO! Cena's Code Red had a ton of ass-groping, but got 2. Neutralizer hits for 2! A BILLION UPPERCUTS lead to the swing and the sharpshooter! Owens attacks them both! Perfect. In one night, they've remade Cesaro...if they want to.

Dolph and Lana go public...but first, another Seth-Brock recap. Bray talks about being awake. Lucha Dragons are out for a match. PTPs team up with them. Rock-Bo recap. Bo's teaming with the New Day. Swear I've seen this on SD. Loved Titus throwing Bo around, picking him up, letting them tease tagging him in and then throwing him more. Post-break chinlock thing. Great spot where Kalisto was popped up by someone into E, who went for an overhead belly to belly and Kalisto flipped out of it! Love the heels doing that tag in stomp bit. Faces win thanks to Titus being big and strong.

Lana and Dolph "go public" tonight. Perhaps they're going steady. Recap of Rusev and Summer. Dolph goes "um" a bunch. Well, I'm already tired of Dolph saying things. This is quite a bit worse than Ted Jr and Maryse - at that had no real ceiling to it. Lana was a legit main event-level act for a bit and now she feels like she's a Superstars-level act. She talks about how Rusev made her dress...and she's still dressing like that. Also, Lana looks more manly and tough than Dolph. JBL actively worrying about Rusev's physical health here. So Dolph is the logical heel, right? He threatens a crippled man and insults him. Summer and Lana get into a bad catfight.

Dean with a neck five o clock shadow adds to the sleaze. Roman comes in off-screen. I like the Rollins vs. Lesnar poster in the background. Roman was horrible here, but added some amusing homoerotic subtext to this by saying he wanted to pull some toys out with Dean. Neville is now being called the closest thing WWE has to a comic book character. IN WHAT WAY IS NEVILLE A COMIC BOOK CHARACTER!? Comic characters have depth. So far, we know that Neville's name is Neville and he does flips.

Cole talked about a Facebook exclusive promo from Sheamus leading to this match. Sheamus eats a running rana before a break, but gets the Finlay roll after it. Neville ducks a brogue into a cradle, but Sheamus kicks out and kicks his head off. Good little match here, but it never really got going. Hogan SI cover recreation shoot recap. SWAGGER VS. BARRETT! Swagger is dressed like Owen in '99 with the caution tape color scheme and jobs to the elbow.

Roman's out followed by Dean. Heels come out with the goons in the new car, and Jamie honking the horn some more. Roman destroys a kendo stick over Joey's back. Trifecta of Superman punches! Bray comes in and attacks with a uranage on the announce table. Time for Dean to job. Dean eats a chokeslam and pedigree to lose, but Roman takes a beating too and some hope. Running buckle bomb through the table to Reigns, and you could see Jamie going down clutching his ribs during that. Pedigree hits and the champ FINALLY stands tall. Bray comes down to ensure the show never ends and hits Sister Abigail.

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