Sunday, June 14, 2015

WWE Money in the Bank 2015

Missed some of the pre-show for the Nintendo World Championships, which was FANTASTIC before I switched over to the pre-show. Steph said that they'll be in Seth's corner figuratively, but not physically. King wants something different, so maybe Barrett will win. Barrett got tired of losing, so he decided to get some wacky royal bullshit gear made while jobbing.


Post-break headlock leads to stomps. They argue over whether or not Truth should call himself King. Cole says he can do it as well as Barrett, while everyone else points out that HE WON KING OF THE RING. Barrett spins his arm around for the bull hammer, but Truth gets a crucifix and wins. Fuck this, I'm going to 7-11 and get some cat food for Spud. King can be Truth's stunt double! I approve of these skits. They talk about Dusty, so I'll wait until after this to leave. It's a shame more '70s and '80s stuff wasn't actually shot on film, because it looks amazing now. COULD YOU NOT FUCKING ANNOUNCERS ON THE SHOW IN TEARS. Fuck. Renee was in tears at that tribute and should not have been put on the show after that. MGK is on Raw tomorrow. Couldn't care less.

The show begins with a ten bell salute to Dusty, with the roster and Vince on-stage. Show is in tears, but I do love them playing Dusty's theme and clapping to it...and then cutting away for a video package. Okay, enough of that real emotion shit - onto the sterile stuff. MITB is a chance for someone to change history and Cena's the face that runs the place. MITB is the opener. NEW! DAY ROCKS! Giant Roman is Money sign. Love Kofi just letting everyone beat each other up and getting a ladder to climb. LOL at the BURY RYDER sign. Dolph's gear has chains on it...why? To make him seem like a badass? His denim vest kills that.

 Kofi gets tipped off the ladder and catches his head on the rope. Kofi and Neville flip around Sheamus, who eats Kofi's kick. Kofi could really be in line for a good push after this - at least have him do a Cena match. He's shining nicely so far. Cool bit with Neville sliding under the ladder and Roman shoving it into his face. Powerbomb from Roman to Kofi on a corner ladder hits, and didn't break the ladder. RKO chain concludes with a pull-down RKO to Neville off the ladder! Dolph puts Sheamus to sleep on the ladder, which JBL points out will send him down - and it does.


Red Arrow to Sheamus! Kane gets a baseball slide dropkick to Neville. BIG DAWG DIVE looks good. new Day's out to help! Roman powerbombs Kofi over the top to the pile. Cool video game spot - Yuke's should put that over the rope Razor's Edge back in the games. Bray prevents a Roman win. YES! JUST WHAT ROMAN NEEDED - A FEUD WITH BRAY! Neville and Sheamus brawl up top, but Sheamus tosses him to win. "Well, he's got the case - he can job".

Renee interviews Paige about the Bella Empire. If she can beat Nikki, she can end the reign of the Bellas. What now? Paige said she'd win for Dusty - well, she'd better. Paige's black, blue, and silver gear rules - almost as much as the too-short red gear. Tieup exchange leads to Cole pushing them airing shows on the American Forces network. Paige gives Nikki a wedgie throwing her to the floor. Nikki decides to just jump into the corner for...reasons. Regal Stretch variant from Paige! Alabama Slam is largely missed so they can show the divas looking and pointing at the screen while apparently talking without words, as people often do. Rack Attack countered into the Rampaige FOR 2! Twin Magic after a fall. So why can't they at least have the same material for their gear? Paige counters a Brie cradle for the win. Brie shows that it's her by...showing her tats, and Paige kicks her. Nikki wins with the Rack Attack. So why isn't Paige winning by DQ for interference?


Miz is out after a Ryback-Show hype video. He cuts a promo on Ohio and is out for commentary. Ryback's got a blue and black singlet with black shorts under it kneepads and elbow pads. So close to almost matching. Ryback spinebusters Show to start. MEATHOOK! Show avoids Shellshock and then Ryback gets sent to the floor and tosses Miz over onto the other commentators. He eats a spear and chops while Show gets a "retire" chant. Ryback gets the Rousey armbar horribly and Show gets to the ropes. Logically, why should I be impressed by a suplex when he hit HIS FINISHER on Raw? Chokeslam gets 2 for Show. Ryback avoids one punch, but eats one to the floor. Miz attacks Show to prevent him winning the title. Miz - the one person on the roster with a brain. So...why wasn't Brie's interference a DQ? I mean beyond not wanting to do the same finish back to back?

Owens-Cena hype vid. The narrative of this is, of course, CAN JOHN CENA OVERCOME THE ODDS!? Steen really struck gold with Fight _____ Fight. It's made the transition smoothly to a main event-level feeling bit in WWE. I love how excited Owens is for Cena to come out so he can kick his ass. Love this THE CENA THE sign. Crowd is so hot for Owens - everything he does feels like a big deal and they're chanting like crazy. Lariat hits for Cena as Cole talks about his HISTORY OF NASAL ISSUES. Cena gets an awful dropkick - is that a Dusty tribute? Cena gets his comeback, BUT THEN KEVIN DOES IT! YOU CAN'T SEE ME TO CENA! Wow. STF is on! Inverted suplex hits for Cena for 2! CODEBREAKER BY STEEN!


Protobomb from Cena leads to the fist drop! Release German to Cena - CANNONBALL! Cena goes for a crucifix, but it's countered into White Noise for 2. Swanton, but Cena gets the knees up. ELECTRIC CHAIR FACEBUSTER FOR CENA GETS 2! Cena does the you can't see me and the AA for 2! NOW Cena is shocked that the AA gets 2!? Super AA is countered into an electric chair sitout powerbomb for 2! Pop up powerbomb INTO A RANA leads to a superkick from Steen for 2! Cena goes for the flying legdrop, but Steen gets the package sideslam for 2!

 SECOND AA GETS 2! Super modified AA off the top for Steen gets 2.5! Crowd's going this is awesome, and it's close. It's a bit too big move>big move>big move, but it's a star-maker once again for Owens. STF is on once again. LOL @ that Code Red. That was easily the worst one ever done, and so risky for John. Pop-up powerbomb gets 2 for Owens. Springboard stunner and the AA win. This was a spectacle.Cena's putting him over huge in the post-match. Cena goes for a handshake and gets POWERBOMBED ON THE APRON. YES! Owens is going to be so money as a face down the line. Love Owens just cackling at Cena's misfortune here.


Great promo with Dean and Renee - he could be big as champ. Dusty tribute video airs on the show proper for PPV buyers. New Day's out... oh yeah, they're defending against the PTPs. PISS! BREAK MATCH! PISS! BREAK MATCH! Love Xavier ranting for the NEW DAY SUCKS chant before E turns his anger into a clap! Love E clapping every chance he can. Great legdrop/splash combo from the chants to DY gets 2. E slapping the ribs during the stretch is fantastic. Nice blind tag into an STO by E for 2. DY is great as a face in peril to set up Titus coming in and just throwing guys around. POUNCE hits and gets 2 by Titus! E spear to Young to the floor, but DY doesn't take the bump. Titus hits the Sky High for the win. Well, that was a bit unexpected - but I'm glad to see the PTPs win it.


Generic words from the panel. Show recap as Seth walks backstage and Kane insults him, and Steph says that THE WEIGHT OF THE COMPANY IS ON YOUR SHOULDERS. HHH is GRUNTING and SAYING WORDS! Actually, that did make Seth seem like a big deal. At 10:19, the match began - so they're not quite giving them the 30+ it seemed like after the tag title match. Great bit where Dean and Seth fight on the ladder while Seth is against the ropes and Dean's on the floor, but it leads to Seth jumping headfirst into the ladder like a fool. T Power drive elbow by Dean. Ground bionic elbow from Dean! Dean goes to climb, but eats a chair to the knee. Ringpost on the figure four using the steps, which should prevent another concussion issue ala Bret. Some idiot chants C-Z-Dub. Figure four by Seth leads to back and forth slaps.

 Seth hits warrior's way in the corner. This has been a collection of things. A few of them have been somewhat exciting. Seth hits the knee to avoid a superplex, but he gets crotched on the ropes and eats a flying clothesline sending him off the rope. PUNCH CHOP PUNCH CHOP! Running knee and a Cactus clotheslines by Dean! A series of kicks leads to the rebound lariat and a flip bump for Seth. They fight in the crowd, which is won by Seth. LOLed at one guy yelling 'DO A BARREL ROLL, SETH!" Dean runs on the announce tables onto Seth. Seth eats a backdrop over the top onto the ladder, which kinida busts in half.


Dean climbs up slowly, but Seth grabs him for a powerbomb, but gets rana'd over the top. Dirty Deeds on the table! AND IT DOESN'T BREAK! Seth grabs a monitor and smashes it on Dean's knee. It was an old-school one too, and they made shit to last back then! Boy was that...just a pedigree. No setup or anything. Crazy bit where Seth hits a RUNNING BARRICADE BOMB. Seth goes to grab a billion chairs under the ring. Seth sets up a running Liger bomb on the chairs and ladder...why? You do a standing one, why land on your own back and ass on those things? Seth buries Dean under chairs and a ladder. They fight up top for the belt, each has it and...Seth falls with it. That certainly was a finish. HHH gives Seth props and then JoJo interviews him and he says he's the best and THE GREATEST WWE CHAMPION EVER! Great facial expressions from Dean here.

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