Monday, May 2, 2016

Camp WWE Episode 1 - No Place Like Camp

A long, amusing disclaimer talks about the show being TV-MA. A blue Truxter comes up to Camp WWE and a giant Vince tree. The driver dares interrupt the Vince tree, so it eats his car. Vince steals Taker's cookies, and Vince drowns out Steph by listening to HISTORY'S GREATEST EXPLOSIONS. We get a wacky montage of the roster, and Vince calls homesick campers dickless losers. HHH's UHHHHs are explained as him being nervous around Steph, and Vince wants to blow up Cena, but Slaughter stops - all while his theme plays to either raise the missiles or lower them.

Vince tells Ric, head of laundry, that he needs help with Cena. Flair mocks Cena for the long shorts, and WOOO is either for his friend Bob Woo, or him being a jet-setter. Ric fucks a rock and wooos, then a tire. Ric's wails are amusing. "YOU HAD RELATIONS WITH A TIRE AND THEN CRIED!?" "WOOO SIR!" Great video that Vince "definitely didn't make" with Billy and his super-racked girl Mary. Billy is not turned around by the titties.
Cena tells the kids their parents are in danger and Vince lets out an "OH SHIT!" OPERATION SLAUGHTER is on, but Steph talks him out - so Vince puts Hell in a Cell over the camp. HHH tells the kids their parents are dead and Taker is excited. Ric drops elbows on pillows. Ric flashes Vince and then...I think tries to fuck a bear. HHH tells Truth that his parents died because he didn't save them. HHH tells the Bellas that their missing dad showed up right before he was brutally murdered. Vince and his machetes chop up the woods to find Cena, leading to a Bart-Skinner chase where Vince uses a Capsule Corporation boat to chase him. And then a giraffe. Austin comes into the funeral and causes a fire.
Vince and Cena go to the dark woods and Vince is scared shitless, and homesick. Vince says he was Camper Zero - who nearly had Camp WWE shut down eons ago. Cena hoists Vince up and then farts in his face a lot. Vince gets up from his "broken leg" and tells him it was a work, and the lesson was....OH YEAH CAMP WWE IS ON FIRE. SAVE IT! Slaughter blows up the water tower to save the camp and says he'd better be getting paid overtime for this shit. Steph tells Vince she's glad he's alive, and she'll put the money back in his account soon. Vince gives the kids their care packages back, and they all love camp. Slaughter runs down his grocery list and takes his stache off before taking a bath. Well, this wasn't amazing - but Slaughter is PERFECT in cartoon form, Flair is good too, Vince's acting is tailor-made for it, and the show was far more entertaining than I expected it to be.

Screens -

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