Friday, June 13, 2014

WWE SD 6-13-14

For the first time in eons, I'll actually be watching SD as it airs - there are zero early versions of it up! Plus, I've made some good progress in EA UFC today, so I might as well take a break from that for this and then play it during the filler. A very long video on the MITB situation aired - seemingly acting like Alberto's win happened on the most recent Raw like the other two ones. SD's new intro is rather terrible. The Shield came down and a video aired on the 6-man showing Reigns winning. Ambrose's facial expressions and body language are entering into Nakamura-levels of amusing wackiness. He's about a 30 on a scale of 100 so far. "Puppet Suit Seth" is a great nickname. Both Dean and Reigns want in the MITB match, but HHH said on the tron that there's only one slot available. A coin flip decided that Ambrose would get a chance to qualify against Bray tonight. HHH banned Roman, and the Wyatts from this match, and banned Ambrose from the ring for Reigns's match with BAD NEWS BARRETT! Barrett theme, cape, and pyro are fantastic - HHH doing his deal puts it over too. They did a couple of minutes worth of filler until an ad break. The traditional post-break chinlock brings the match back. Roman nailed the Superman punch before a giant SPEAR SPEAR SPEAR chant broke out. 3MB came out and jumped him since Ambrose is banned. Given that Drew and Jinder are now gone, I expect some destruction. Roman hindered Jinder by tossing him over the table, then he speared Drew and Heath on the floor. Roman whooped some ass here! Jey Uso faces Rowan next.

The hillbillies teleported to the ring. The Usos' shirt is fantastic, but they should really modify the colors of the shirt and paint since it would be easy to do and allow them to have the shirts always match the gear. Jimmy's win over Harper on Main Event was recapped. FLYING USO to start. Rowan wins like a minute later with the a stomach-held Rock Bottom that was fast. These MITB graphics for the individual guys are fantastic - very wallpaper-ish. A Bo hype video from his pre-debut run aired - that seems odd.

Bo came out, and he should really save the giant arms up bit for when his theme has the big sting in it. BO DANCING TO TRUTH'S THEME IS AMAZING. JBL referencing "Gettin Jiggy Wit It" is something. I guess he'll reference Soulja Boy in 10 years. Bo saying "GREEN BAY, WHAT'S GOING ON!?" for What's Up ruled. Bo's white and powder blue gear isn't as good as his white and red stuff. I love Bo justifying a punch since "he was attacking me!". Hat Rack Crack got 2. Cole referencing LAM-BO Field ruled. Running Bo-dog won. Bo adding some arm pumps to the celebration is perfect. Sheamus-Cesaro is next! Why didn't they mention this before!? It's the hour one main event for goodness sake.

Cesaro's black wrist tape is a nice touch, and I dig Heyman saying he's now Cesaro's translator. He just wanted the crowd to knowt hat he's represented by hte man who represented THE MAN WHO CONQUERED THE UNDERTAKER'S STREAK and that Cesaro himself won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Heyman says that Cesaro's hands are taped because HE IS NOT HERE FOR A GRECO-ROMAN OR EVEN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT RULES MATCH, HE IS HERE FOR A FIGHT. HE WIN RISK FINES AND DQS, AND HE WILL USE HIS HANDS TO FORCE A TECHNICAL KNOCKOUT AGAINST SHEAMUS THE SHAMELESS WHO DARED TO WIN A FIGHT WITH A GRECO ROMAN SMALL PACKAGE! This was honest-to-God amazing and they just wasted it on SD. They started with brawling! Cesaro grinding his bare knee to Sheamus's face in the corner was fantastic! CACTUS CLOTHESLINE BY SHEAMUS! That is so much better than the crossbody block, and it was a perfect act break. I love everything about this so far!

They traded Irish whip attempts, which Sheamus fittingly won before going for the clubbering that Cesaro countered. Cesaro hit double stomps while Cole awkwardly said that UNLIKE THE MITB LADDER MATCH, this will end in traditional means, which had nothing to do with anything here. I liked Cesaro basically doing a rope-bound camel clutch by tying Sheamus's arms up in the rope before doing a double chinlock. Nice corner strikes to the body and face of Sheamus.Taz-ish crossfaces from Cesaro! They'd damn well better be in the next WWE game. Sheamus demanded more punching, which Cesaro was happy to do! This led to a great bit where Cesaro actually got the upper hand for a bit during Sheamus's comeback, but Sheamus clubbed him off the top and Cesaro's right knee was caught nastily in the ropes on the way down. Cesaro hung him up on the ropes, but he ate the axehandles and high knee from Sheamus. CLUBBERING TIME! Irish Curse hits for a 2.9. Very European Uppercut gets 2.9. Heyman freaked out! Sheamus is trying to fight back on his knees but just eats offense. Sheamus fights back with the Finlay roll. Heyman distracted Sheamus, leading to Cesaro countering the powerslam with a small package USING THE TIGHTS! Cole immediately chastises Heyman for it, and it ruled! I enjoyed that more than the PPV match, and it's easily the best match on SD all year, and will be a contender for best TV match of the year. HHH recap from earlier. Bray had a dream about a white picket fence, BUT HE WOKE UP AND HE KNOWS HE'S STUCK IN THE PRISON WE CALL A WORLD! Sister Abigail told him he can achieve anything he wants and more by changing the world. THEY WILL CHANT YOUR NAME AND FEAR YOUR HAND, AND BOW TO YOU, BOY! Above the ladder lies his absolution and his happy ending, and HIS POWER! Come on now Bray, you can only have power if you have the TNA World Title. This was Bray's best promo in a while.

The Fandango-Summer Rae saga is recapped. Summer calling Layla a catty little twat was muted. Thank God there was cat litter nearby so Layla would have something for when she was called a cat by Summer. Adam Rose came out and JBL wondered where Arachnaman and Mantaur were. Cole said JBL was a closet rosebud and that he had rabii-phobia, which JBL pointed out wasn't a thing. Rose counted a diving something or other with the Party Foul. Cole looked up what a rabbit phobia was on Wikipedia and read its definition. Summer unmasked as a chicken and attacked Layla. This is a fun divas feud. Summer Rae in black leather works!

Swagger's facing Big E because E failed to defend America. Big E hits the Ultimate Splash before Lana came out. They focused on her ass completely here. Zeb cut a promo on Lana, so is he a face or what? Swagger bomb was countered into the Big Ending - that should've been a PPV finisher, but it ruled anyway. Hopefully he turns that into a counter finisher more often because it gets his power over quickly. Seth recap is next. BUT FIRST, we get a recap of the Alicia-Aksana deal from Raw.

It's time for Alicia-Aksana to send Aksana out of the company. Aksana super-low cut gear is amazing. Can't wait to see her in TNA doing some more revealing stuff since she's got a great body. Aksana's snap suplex seemed to have some bad ADR done since it made a loud noise before being done. Aksana did a spinebuster that JBL dared to compare to Ron's. Then she...flopped onto Alicia's knees in something that was called a splash counter. JBL said that the Ultimate Warrior debuted in Green Bay in '87, which you can watch on the Network! Alicia hit like an inverted Rousey armbar fameasser thing to win.  It's convoluted, but new. Alicia made Aksana slap her hand in victory. She did a cartwheel and kicked her heels up!

Bray got a minimal intro while Dean got his full one. The fans sang "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands"  to start this. Eye rake on the ropes followed soon after. Cole said that if Bray was the champion, his influence would grow even more. OH NO! IT ALREADY ESCAPED THE STEEL CAGE! Slingshot dive from Ambrose was countered into a seamless uranage on the apron! Glorious! Arm wringer with a drop on the apron from Bray brought things back from the break. Tiger DDT hits, but he can't cover and actually collapsed trying to put weight on the left arm - great stuff. Dean ran shoulder-first into the post. Dean is playing such a great babyface in peril - for being the most devious member of the Shield, he's shockingly made the best babyface. Dean slowly fights out of a superplex with some headbutts. A diving elbow smash is countered into a uranage attempt that Dean avoids by going for and hitting the rebound lariat for 2. Nice back and forth shot exchange here. Dean counters Bray's opposite corner charge with an elbow and then a suicide dive! Back bumping missile dropkick from Dean gives him a small edge for 2. Odd to have him nick two of Bryan's big moves with the suicide dive and the dropkick, and yet it works well for both guys without seeming like a copycat deal. Bray's bodylock got 2.9. Dean countered a suplex into a small package, but it only gets 2. Dirty Deeds hits, but Seth is on the table distracting him. Dean runs into Sister Abigail and he loses, which is a bit bullshit - SETH ENTERED THE RING. That should've been either a DQ or no contest! Still, the match was a lot of fun and the show itself was a riot.

Screens -

Ambrose is prepping for his MIB audition


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