Thursday, April 23, 2015

WWE SmackDown 4-23-15

Well, I wasn't going to watch this as it happened, but my cable's been a bit spotty - so I'd better do it now and get it over with just in case. Terminator 2 makes shockingly good pre-SmackDown programming. Boy is that kid annoying. The pre-SD hype video talks about Dolph standing up to Sheamus. The generic intro takes up next to no time and there isn't a recap - the show actually starts in earnest at 8:01...with Seth and the goons coming out to cut a promo. King is out there with Tom Phillips and Byron, so this could be ungodly bad.

RKO recap. Seth mocks #rkoouttanowhere. He says he doesn't need anyone's help - especially that of an aging monster. Kane was somehow angered by this. Kane tells him to basically be nice to him or he'll screw him out of the title. Seth used Vince's FIRED line while Kane told him to stop using the catchphrases of the family that signs their paychecks. EVERYONE BE GLAD THAT YOU WORK FOR WWE, THE GREATEST COMPANY ON EARTH. Seth calls Kane the Guardian of the Gatekeeper, or whatever - awesome.

Kane. And. Seth. Have the. World's slowest. Conversation. About Kane. Beating Seth. Like Seth. Beat him. Kane orders a ref and I just made 50 cents on mturk thanks to this whole deal taking eons. Kane tells him that HHH isn't here, so he's in charge. Kane tells him he's just messin with him - so this was a good use of 10 minutes. Kane makes Seth vs. Dean now.

Dean comes down, but Harper jumps him and a brawl breaks out. THE BIG DOG makes the save. I sense a HOLLA HOLLA tag. Rusev-Ryback is later. King says WHAT A WAY TO KICK OFF for the thing not opening SD. Dolph's out for a tag match - he and Neville faces BNB and Sheamus - should be fun. During the break, Kane announced a HOLLA HOLLA TAG MATCH FOR THE MAIN EVENT!

Dolph and Neville have an inset promo where they try to get over THE NEW SENSATION as his nickname - it's now one of two nicknames for his intro.  Sheamus tells Dolph he'll bring a step ladder so he can kiss his arse without standing on his tippy toes. Ugh. Neville flips around to avoid Sheamus. Flip dive to the heels from Neville. Show is 1/4 over and I'm so thankful it's only two hours long.

BNB GETS A POST-BREAK CHINLOCK and they replay BNB's big bump. Sheamus comes in and kneedrops the back. Sheamus hits the tossing suplex and yells ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED, leading to Tom talking about SPEAKING ABOUT ENTERTAINMENT, CONGRATULATIONS TO FLORIDA GEORGIA LINE for. their hit. This is How We Roll. Big kick saves Neville and he gets a tag. Dolph runs wild at 80 million hours an hour. Big DDT hits and gets 2. Wasteland thanks to a Sheamus distraction gets 2. Dolph gets a crucifix for 2 and a Zig Zag hits and the Red Arrow wins. Byron says "HEY GUYS REMEMBER THAT GROUNDBREAKING REALITY SERIES!?" Recap of that announcement and some submission videos will be shown too.

WWE WON AWARDS. CONGRATULATIONS FOR WWE! WWE brags about beating EVEN EL REY - a network no one has. They had a bunch of goofy videos - thus burying their fanbase. King tries to figure out how to do a selfie. Bray talks about fear and how he'll take the ONE THING HE HAS. Oh no, he's going to change Ryback's doctor's phone number!

Paige-Naomi beatdown recap. Nattie gets a boo machine despite being in there with Naomi. King makes a joke about library cards with Naomi since he won't stop checking her out. Byron inquired as to just what a library card was. Slingshot ass drop from Nattie and a dropkick gets 2. Apron high kick leads to a sunset flip and a rollthrough into a sharpshooter. She escapes and hits "rear to the view" and then shakes her ass for the win. Okay then.


PTPs talk about how they're still trying to find out about those Puerto Rican bullfighters. Cesaro is interesting...crickets chirp. He's interesting because he's got a hat and a purse. DY makes a joke about farting in church and how Kidd's not a wussy, but he's whipped by that...woah woah woah. Cuz he wears cats, and the PTPs are worth millions of dollars. This was a thing. Rusev-Ryback is next.

Rusev, his track jacket, and chain are mid-ring waving the flag. Rusev and Lana cut awesome promos on their superior skills and how it is RUSEV WORLD. A feed me more chant starts the match off. Ryback gets some shoulder tackles while Tom talks about how RYBACK ROSE THROUGH THE RANKS OF TOUGH ENOUGH. Nice delayed suplex by Ryback. Ryback misses a shoulder charge and eats offense.

Ryback fights out of a reverse bearhug and gets a boot and some punches. Big side belly to belly gets 2. Davey Boy powerslam gets 2 for Ryback. Meathook hits for 2! He lifts him up for the Shellshock, but Rusev escapes and hits him with the chain for a DQ. Chain-assisted Accolade is locked in on the floor. I like that they've set that up - but they should've been doing it for the whole build. Instead, it's clearly just a spot Cena's going to escape from before the finish.

Seth and the goons talk about Harper, and Noble says to not be afraid - he's family with him through some wacky deal. Harper is busy concentrating, but Mercury taps him and mimes things. Harper tells him he was busy thinking of ways to hurt people! Steph-Jericho podcast hype.

New Day's out and actually getting folks to clap and dance. Kofi's out to lose to someone. THERE IS A PLAGUE IN THE WWE UNIVERSE - A LACK OF SMILING! AND WORSE YET - A LACK OF CLAPPING! Big E is so great. Xavier is so great as a sarcastic prick here. Cesaro and Kidd get a huge pop coming out. Cesaro and Kofi usually have good matches, but they probably won't have much time here. Leapfrog into a one-armed tilt a whirl backbreaker! Fulcrum kick by Kofi. Big E suplexes Kidd overhead on the floor, but Kofi hits the kick and! Big Show cuts an app promo on Roman.

Dean's out for the main event, followed by the Big Dawg! Card recap in full here. Of course - couldn't put this before the main event or anything. Heels come out. I dig seeing the mini-Shield reunion, and I should really update Roman in NM with the Taker top - it fits with his new logo nicely.

Dragon screw into a modified Regal Stretch by Dean starts this off - I like Dean busting out actual wrestling to show that he isn't just a wildman. Sliding D into a power drive elbow leads to Tom calling Dean Harper. Seth's now in. I bet using Eddie's gear would work well for him in NM. Roman tags in and LANDS PUNCHES along with a suplex for 2. Hall-style arm wringer and shoulder-smash, but Seth escapes and punches away. Seth takes Roman down with a front facelock.

Roman tags Dean in for some madcap offense. Dean gets put into a wacky position by trying to climb up, but gets tossed to the steps and jumped by J and J. Harper boots him for a break. An AWESOME hype video airs for Rusev-Cena, which really makes it seem like the main event.


Seth gets a face rake alongside a bodyscissors. Cocky kicks from Seth lead to the Big Dawg wanting in even more. Roman and Harper come in and the BIG DAWG RUNS WILD! J and J get a double punch, punch to Harper gets 2.5 thanks to Seth. Dean takes him down with the flying elbow. Dive to Harper leads to a powerslam to the timekeeper area. Roman clotheslines him down. Superkick from Harper gets 2. Seth comes in and gets the flying knee for 2. Seth gets the buckle bomb and Harper gets the discus lariat for 2. Dean saves Roman and now he wants the hot tag.

Okay, if they were to do this exact thing, Dean would be back in the hunt as a top-level guy. Dean low bridges and tosses out the heels and gets the diving elbow to the pile. A this is awesome chant breaks out. Well, it's deserved. Seth is tossed in early by Kane and Dean come back in, but Roman tags in, hits the spear and wins! Tom made a point about him pinning the champion. Excellent match here.

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  1. Do you have the match card pix for extreme rules were it had Orton, Kane and Rollins in it if u do could u send it to me

  2. So do u have that pix of Orton Kane and Rollins extreme rules