Thursday, April 2, 2015

WWE SmackDown 4-2-15

BY GOLLY, we'll actually be covering SD live as it happens this week. Sure, it's going to be full of filler, but I like the idea of the IC Title-level stuff, so it should be worth a watch. In bigger news, the Impact reviews will NOT be on the site anymore. Instead, they'll be on the Wrestling Observer site!  The Beast's beatdown from Raw was recapped to start the show. This takes A LONG time to get done - about 4 minutes before the regular show intro hits. Tom Phillips is here instead of Cole and does a pretty good job introing the show. Seth and the goons come down and they show the site report on the injuries.

 Show yells "I'M NUMBER 1 - LOOK AT THIS - ME!" next to the statue. Then Seth does "I love it when a plan comes together" all weird and hypes himself up. He runs down Brock for not only ending the Raw match, but also PREVENTING IT FROM BEING ON SMACKDOWN TOO. Orton comes down. Orton says he deserves a rematch and Show says "you take your skinny butt to the back!" This is Show's best use in company history. Seth's gear really does look perfect with the shiny gold trim on the belt. Orton says Show at least won at WM, while Kane went from being the Big Red Monster to being Little Red Riding Hood. 15 MINUTES INTO THE SHOW, Kane announces Show vs. Orton. And it's next!

WM slideshow. Orton gets a surprising amount of offense to start - including the draping DDT off the top. J and J jump in for a DQ. Ryback comes down to save Orton from a bigger beating. They alternate finishes on the goons. Sheamus's attack recap leads to them saying that due to the Brogue kick, Dolph's unable to compete - so Bryan will face Sheamus. Um, Bryan got hit with a kick too, but whatever - they made a finisher seem important.
RouseyMania recap. Divas match is up with the Bellas on commentary. Nattie bends over quite a bit to show off her cleavage. Naomi's going to face her and she says that her beating the divas champion shows that she can beat the champion. For some reason, she still has Brodus's music and said its lyrics in her promo. Mirror dropkick and nip up. Abdominal stretch counter sequence. Sharpshooter countered into a cradle and it leads to the headscissor driver for the win. Short and sweet match here. Cena will be on the show later. Roman interview is next.

Seth met with Mr. Kane, who says that he's considering making Orton vs. Seth because ER is under 4 weeks away and that match seems like a great idea. Seth says IT STINKS and Dean comes out with a newspaper and says he really enjoys Kane's digs. Kane is so upset that he makes Dean vs. Luke Harper and Dean is...just totally fine with this. So much for there being a Shield triple threat at some point in this whole deal. Roman interview.

 Roman was honored to be a part of the WM main event, but took a few trips to Suplex City - in fact, he wants to buy a condo there. Brock had no answer for the punches and busted him up with his fist. Brock smacked the piss out of him, but he got up. Byron asked him about Seth taking his dram away and Roman says it was terrible. He HAD IT. But hey, it was Seth's job to cash it in and he did it. Roman proved that HE CAN AND HE WILL and he COULD HAVE. He beat Seth before, he CAN, HE HAS, AND HE WILL BEAT HIM AGAIN! This was really good - Roman didn't quite come off as wishy-washy as it seemed in spoilers about losing.

Miz is out for a match. WM attendance hype. Miz faces truth. THE AWESOME TRUTH EXPLODES! Miz does the little band leader hand motions with Truth's singing. Mizdow-Miz recap and Byron is apparently a heel on this show because he wants to see all of Miz's mannerisms. Miz gets the Finale and the much for Truth in a title picture. Mizdow, LIKE A COWARD, attacks Miz from behind. Miz did it on Raw, but that STILL MAKES MIZDOW A COWARD. Cena is up next.

WM US Title match recap slideshow. Cena came down to mostly cheers. He puts Rusev's path of destruction over and calls him a douchebag, which is censored. He calls him the American dream who didn't appreciate it. Cena reads the poem on the Statue of Liberty and he wants the outcasts, underdogs, and all B+ players! HE'LL TAKE ON ANYONE FROM BROCK LESNAR TO THE BUSHWACKERS and give them the opportunity to be the U.S Champion! You know, Kurt Angle answering this challenge would be a fun little callback to Cena's debut... RUSEV AND LANA COME DOWN! Cena's half the man Ruisev is and it is THE ERA OF...Rusev not losing at WM. Boo - I wanted her to keep talking.

 Rusev is still America's champion AND HE IS A RUSSIAN TANK! THIS IS RUSEV COUNTRY! THIS IS RUSEV WORLD! Rusev will give Cena the opportunity to be CRUSHED AT EXTREME RULES! Rusev waves his flag and does the flag bit, BUT CENA HAD IT CHANGED! Cena put his hand to his heart at the sight of the flag - nice touch, and then he sang about how he'll pledge to kick Rusev's ass at the PPV. This was effective. Cena as U.S. Champion works, and this booking can get him and that title over as a main event-level championship. IC Title stuff recap. Dean vs. Luke is next.
Neville hype video. Another WM slideshow. Harper's mid-ring already and we see a still of the ladder powerbomb. Nice sequence where Dean gets a sliding D lariat and then the power drive elbow for 2. A Harper throat thrust leads to an ad break. Harper goes for the powerbomb, but Dean escapes. Flying Misawa elbow from the barricade when Harper destroys the table. Dean goes to powerbomb him through the table, but eats a pair of shoves into the post. Powerbomb through the announce table by Harper! Refs...move around him and that's it. DQ. No contest. No idea.

 Prime Time Players have a new shirt with the Prime Time Wrestling logo and they mock The New Day. Titus mocks Big E's bizarre preacher voice. Titus buries the sunken chest and Xavier has a PHD - a Personal Hair Disaster. "NEW DAY!" leads to crickets chirping, but THE DOG BARK doesn't. MILLIONS OF DOLLARS! MILLIONS OF DOLLARS! This ruled. Sheamus came down with a new Celtic God of War song that I want to buy right now. He's also got a longer tron and blacked out intro, which is great. Sheamus embraces the "YOU LOOK STUPID" chant and says he's attacked Bryan and Dolph BECAUSE HE CAN! Sheamus watched TV and wants to know where all the real men went - sure, these guys are little go-getters, BUT THEY MAKE KEVIN HART LOOK LIKE SHAQ. They're vertically-challenged runts. They can't even hang in the main event, but Sheamus? He's not here to disappoint anyone or put a smile on a face - he's here to crush your hopes and dreams. Bryan comes down wearing the title, and it looks pretty good on him.


WM slideshow leads to BARRETT ON COMMENTARY. On SD, they can actually try and fix the table! Nice shots in the corner from each man. Barrett says that King isn't doing his job and that Saxton has never done anything good in his life. Ouch. Bryan gets the corner kicks and Barrett commends Sheamus for going after underdogs - which doesn't include him since he's dominant. Bryan never beat Barrett and that makes him a paper champion. King says "nice!" and Barrett says yes, he is nice! Man is Barrett a star here. If this exact presentation was on Raw in a main event slot, they'd have three main event-level guys here.

Leg dragon screw by Bryan. Bryan traps him down and gets some mounted slaps. Sheamus gets some corner shots in, but Bryan gets some more kicks. Holding tilt a whirl backbreaker from Sheamus. Fantastic shot of Sheamus looking intense for the ad break.

Barrett tells Byron to call him SIR BAD NEWS! Sheamus gets a big knee to the gut while Barrett says he's a legit meat and potatoes fighter, but he should really have a word with his barber. Sheamus hits Jason Jett's Crash Landing release suplex - nice! He nails it once again. Sheamus lets him get up just to knock him down again. Big European uppercut hits for Sheamus. Barrett says the fans have turned on Sheamus - now they're booing him and they were booing him mere months ago. Sheamus gets some corner slaps. BRYAN FIGHTS BACK WITH BIGGER SLAPS! Corner comeback hits for Bryan!

 Sheamus is backdropped to the floor to set up the dive, which hits. Bryan avoids White Noise and goes for the Yes Lock out of it. Bryan drop toeholds him into the buckle and kicks him. Sheamus trips him up on top, leading to more uppercuts! Sheamus gets a nice cravate and lands a sick neckbreaker out of it. Nice - he's added some new wrinkles and it helps freshen him up a lot in the ring. Chest clubbering only gets to three before a headbutt contest splits Bryan open and Barrett elbows him down. Sheamus tries to bring him in twice, but opts to just take the countout over the fallen champion. Doctors tend to Bryan while Barrett puts himself over more. Barrett came off like the biggest star in his whole deal honestly, and really came off like a top-level guy again.


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