Sunday, February 22, 2015

WWE Fast Lane 2015

This Week in WWE is the filler programming before the pre-show. WWE canon now considers the fake Sting on Raw to be a real Sting as "Sting has only appeared on WWE TV three times." had that as a clip. HHH's interview with Cole is shown and they're definitely making this a WWE vs. WCW narrative with WCW DYING BEING A GOOD THING FOR THE FUTURE OF THE BUSINESS. During the HHH deal, the Network app crashed on the X1, and it just keeps giving me an error message. Luckily, I'm just missing stuff on the HOUR-LONG PRE-SHOW with no matches announced on it, so it's not a huge loss.

It's working a minute in and Renee's in a nice black dress. Booker, Corey Graves, and Byron are on the panel. Excuse me, THE VOICE OF SMACKDOWN Byron Saxton. Tons of buffering. Byron saying stuff. Renee sends it to Human Friend in the social media lounge, where the Usos will be interviewed later. Renee says that STING HAS MADE A HUGE IMPACT, and speaking of Impact, there are no people in the building yet.

HHH-Sting video puts HHH as a huge babyface out to defend his company from an evil WCW invader. I love WWE's Sting videos - they're full of cool things. Corey puts HHH over as THE GAME while Byron says it's WCW vs. WWE and WWE won. Seth-Jon Stewart recap. Jon Stewart cuts a good promo - I guess he'll be a manager for Orton at WM against Seth. Rowan, Ryback, and Dolph face The Authority tonight. Yippy. Team Dolph says words. THE AGENTS OF THE AUTHORITY WILL BE EXSPONGED TONIGHT. Rowan. Wow. BIG GUY OUT! Ryback ruled. Heyman on Miz TV gets a bit of hype.


AWESOME Ambrose video made him shine and put over his craziness. They cut to a Renee-Dean interview talking about what the IC Title means to him. It was the workhorse belt, he's a workhorse, and HE WANTS THE IC Title to mean something again. It used to be a stepping stone for the World title, and that's what he wants. Roman's his best friend, but he's been getting the glory and tonight, he wants it. "The guy makes the championship", which was true for Nakamura and Tanahashi and Dean says that being WWE Intercontinental Champion means a lot to him. WHY COULDN'T THIS BE ON RAW!? Granted, it's an interview done earlier tonight, but they could've done this on Raw too. Renee says that Booker helped make the IC Title he didn't. Recap of that fucking awful dinner skit. Booker talks about he and Stevie being tag champs 10 times and tonight KIDDCESARO COULD BE THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE YEAR! Paige-Nikki feud recap. Nikki called Paige a glass of milk. Renee references TIA AND TAMARA MOWRY! Corey says that Paige became a woman in a, what?  Booker talks about wrecking balls and shucky ducky quack quack for some reason.

They should really be nixing every part of this "Cena is the past" angle. Cena-Rusev is the main event, so it's getting a finish. I see Cena winning this to nix the old man angle, and give Rusev a big win on WM as opposed to a loss on wrestling's grandest stage. Corey said he believed Lana's stuff, which Booker called the GEOPOLITICAL TI-RADES! AMAZING bit with the Usos backstage. They put over the tag titles, and they do make the copper belts look good, put over their dad in the HOF, dancing with him on Raw 999 and fighting for 29 years sharing shirts and underwear. THESE GUYS RULE. Eva Marie and Cameron are at the Oscars for E.

Miz TV time. Miz tells Mizdow to sit like a dog and he does. Miz says he chose to be at Fast Lane and has Dwayne Johnson filling in for him. Heyman drags out that Brock isn't there and says that Mizdow is distracting him. I'm distracted by a husky guy in a white t-shirt and Sting paint. Heyman puts Roman over as the badass of the baddest Samoan family on the baddest island in Samoa who went through 29 guys. Crowd chants Mizdow so Heyman STARTS OVER. Heyman put Roman over huge here, and oh yeah, he faces some guy named Daniel Bryan who got a minor yes chant. Well, it would certainly appear that Roman's winning the match tonight, or we get a fuck finish there and a real finish for Cena-Rusev. An amazing Brock hype video closed the show to set the stage for Roman-Bryan. Roman looked like a badass in this.


Great show-opening video shows off speeding cars, computerized stuff and runs down the major events tonight. Fired Big and Little Guys against the Authority starts the show. Dolph gets a nice pop. Rowan gets NO REACTION. Okay pop for Ryback but nothing special. Ryback's green and white gear is a bit awful. Oh lord, he's got red Under Armour shorts under it. Yikes. Heels all get separate intros too. Dolph and Seth start with some fast action and Dolph gets 2 for a sunset flip. They plug the Daily Show stuff. Dolph tags in Rowan. Fuck you, Dolph. Slow pumphandle backbreaker by Rowan to Seth. Seth tags in Kane. Fuck you, Seth. Legdrop hits from Rowan. Rowan's got a sheep face on his gear now. Rowan goes for the spin kick, but Show moves and his leg hits the post. Love Noble getting in EXACTLY ONE KICK to Rowan's leg before hiding behind Mercury.

JBL talks about people trying to find modern-day giants on Nat Geo. JBL talks about the Christmas Creature while Kane works over the vintner. Oh thank God, King has facts for us. Cross-legged Haas of pain is on while King says Show's mother had a C,D, E, and F section. Ugh. Feed Me More chant breaks out. Show took the slowest bump for a DDT ever. Rowan spin kicks Seth. Ryback comes in and runs down Seth. Meathook to Kane. DISTRACTION SCHOOLBOY GETS 2 for Seth.

Kneeling superkick hits for 2.9. Dolph runs wild on Kane for a bit. DOLPH FLIPS OUT OF A SIDESLAM AND SUPERKICKS HIM! Running jumping KO punch, so a Superman punch essentially, to Dolph during the corner punches gets the win. Dug the finish - wrong guy lost though. In a match with Rowan, Dolph jobbed. Ugh. Chain of curb stomps to the faces. ORTON MAKES THE SAVE! DIVING RKO via Mercury. So glad to see Orton back - he came off like a megastar here. Seth ran away and Orton tossed the case to the ramp - so they'll go at it for WM and presumably Orton has Stewart in his corner. Nice WM 32 hype video.

Rhodes Bros. implosion is up. This didn't even get a recap on the hour-long pre-show. Dusty meets with Goldust and says he never thought he'd be in this position. He tells him not to hurt Cody because they're still family. Goldust said that tonight, he's not fighting Cody - he's fighting Stardust and he needs to get Stardust out of Cody and get his brother back. Dustin was honest to God a better promo than Dusty here. With all of their issues, it's so great to see Goldust go out on big stage nationally with his father by his side. Stardust came out with new pants and no top, but with the paint and gloves. Weird look.

Goldust is down to 232 pounds - good for him. JBL says that Cody and Dustin are so far apart in age that they didn't grow up together, but became close later. This match is telling a nice story with Goldust not wanting to fight and using holds, but Cody is just dreadful with whatever he's trying to do here. Love Cody using the lariat-bulldog, but Goldy turning that into a backbreaker. Cody goes after the back on the apron. No heat for anything. King says that Cody now always wears the Stardust getup at home, while Dustin at least goes back to being Dustin. JBL buries Mil Mascaras for being in-character at all times. Cody gets 2 off a bodyscissors cradle. Cody asks...himself maybe, who's your favorite. A Cody chant breaks out, which is honestly amazing. Cody asked Dustin who his daddy was and hissed. This gimmick is pure death for Cody. This continues the downward trend of Stardust absolutely killing Cody's career. Cody in 2013 was someone they could have in a major feud on Raw. Now, he's just an annoying prelim guy. Goldust gets a flash crucifix win that was really a 2.9 count to end this. Even the finish got fucked up. These guys were just doomed tonight. They showed the finish and talked about the ref not hitting the mat 3 times, but since Cody's shoulders were still down, it's a win for Goldust.

Daily Show stuff. Interesting Rhodes stuff with Cody attacking Dustin and saying that Dusty killed Cody when he sent Goldust to team with him and then he hissed and Dusty yelled to get help. This had elements of really good stuff mixed in with Cody being annoying. Usos come out in blue and green to face the Brass Ring Club. Nattie's catsuit is something else.  THIS STUPID DINNER SKIT CAN FUCK OFF FOREVER! Usos double team Kidd to get a 2. Cesaro comes in for a brief exchange and Kidd tags back in for a leglock before tagging out and Cesaro hits a double stomp to the leg. One legged swing sets up a half crab. Uso comeback, but Cesaro crotches an Uso before tagging Kidd in. Cesaro plex into the flying elbow for 2. Pop up Samoan drop gives the Uso a 2. Kidd goes for the flash kick on the apron. HOLY SHIT. Snap Samoan drop into the barricade! Big babyface reaction for a Kidd kickout. "Kidd is awesome" chant breaks out. CREDENZA GETS THE WIN!

Sting-HHH stuff is up. HHH is back with his '02 jeans and jacket look toensure he gets a babyface pop. HHH says he stands here tonight in a WWE ring, as a WWE wrestler, in a WWE arena AND HE'S WAITING FOR STING! Fuck HHH for making himself the face in this. Sting still got a huge pop though. Sting black and red velvet jacket looks awesome. HHH says his legacy is ending Sting's legacy, and he'll let Sting walk away and do business together. He'll make sure the legacy lives on through DVDs, the Network, action figures and ensures he'll be bigger than ever before. HHH is saying way way way too much. He'll kick Sting's ass tonight and end his legacy. Sting gets to go over here, in the non-match, while HHH goes over at WM. HHH cheapshots him and Sting fights back. HHH lands some shots and goes for the hammer, but Sting HAS THE BAT! Sting uses the bat to get rid of the hammer and POINT TO THE WM sign while a yes chant breaks out.

Sting gets the better of HHH thanks to the bat and lays him out with the death drop! They're getting it mostly right so far.  Heyman on MizTV recap. Paige is out for the title match. Nikki dominates by working on the back and getting 2 off an Alabama Slam. Nikki gets 2 off a powerbomb and thrusts her ass right in the air for the cover. Nikki wins with a shitty schoolgirl "with the tights". Sting vs. HHH is formally announced and we get our first sign of the WM graphics - they're good.

Dean gets a great pop for the IC Title match. King talks about how there are no plagues before being corrected and after talking about Jerry Lee Lewis. Dean does the crossbody punches leading to Barrett leaving for a bit. Great boot from BNB to Dean as he was on the top - slow-mo made it look even better. Barrett attacks the back on the floor. Dean rebounds with a lariat and gets a tornado DDT in the ring. They go to an awesome shot of the orange lighting rig over the ring with them in it.

Ambrose gets a bulldog, and counters Winds of Change with a cradle for 2. Diving standing elbow gets 2. Nigel lariat leads to Wasteland and 2. Bullhammer is countered with a schoolboy for 2. Nigel larait! Barrett escapes during Dirty Deeds, but Dean dives onto him. Barrett is getting his best chance to shine in years and making the most of it. Barrett tries to leave through the crowd and Dean attacks there too! Dean kicks him in the corner. FUCKING DQ!? FUCK YOU! Dean grabs the belt, hits his finish - so Dean shines and Barrett looks like a goof. Dean steals the belt and JBL tells King to call people - he should know people, he was almost mayor!

THE DRUIDS! CHANTING! SMOKE AND FIRE! The druids bring a casket down, and I'm hoping at least one of them is Bray, or Bray's in the casket. Yup - it's Bray, and he's got a new leather vest. Bray says his mission is clear and he knows that Taker is listening. He doesn't fear Taker and he is pain, suffering, and the new face of fear. He said he'll claim the soul of the Undertaker. Well, already this is better than the build to Taker-Bray. He has the casket lid lowered and cackles. Yeah, let's not let this sink in. LET'S HEAR FROM THE KICKOFF PANEL! Cena-Rusev is up, so Bryan and Roman get the main event slot. Same video from the kickoff hypes this up.

 Eden calls this the YOU-nited states title match. Cole says the US Title was the first title Cena ever won in WWE and now he's back to win it. King brings up Cena walking up to challenge Kurt Angle on night one. Rusev nails a nice punt to the gut for 2. Flying spinkick hits for 2. Rusev sends Cena into the barricade. Cena comes in and sends him down with a dropkick for 2, while Cena gets one and a two count too. MASSIVE USA chant here. VINTAGE shitty ground and pound from Cena. Fallaway slam from Rusev gets 2. JBL talks about Mayweather-Madonna, I think he meant Maidana. Big chinlock to Cena. Cena fights out and gets a lariat for 2. AA countered into the DDT for 2. Nice corner charges from Rusev - he's shining here. I'm digging this - it's very similar to Cena-Umaga. "Duck and tackle" leads to a SUPERKICK TO CENA! Swinging uranage gets 2.9!

 Corner charge leads to a kick and TORNADO DDT BY CENA! 2.9! Back and forth punches mid-ring. Cena counters the uranage with a crossface! Rusev powers out and hits a falling Alabama slam! Yet another great nearfall here. Rusev kicks the spine a few times. Crush! countered into the STF, but he gets the ropes. I love the evolution of the submissions going from the crossface to the STF. Superkick misses AA HITS FOR 2.9! POWERBOMB COUNTER OUT OF THE FLYING LEGDROP LEADS TO THE ACCOLADE! CAN CENA OVERCOME THE ODDS!? Cena lifts him up, but Lana distracts leading to a low blow, face kick, and Accolade again. Charles Robinson calls it - RUSEV WINS! The final camel clutch here looked so awesome. I hope we get Cena and a partner against Rusev and Lana. Ronda Rousey would make sense as an American Olympian fighting to defend her country. Not gonna happen though. Concussion angle for Cena it would appear as he's dazed and walking around drunkenly.

Bryan-Reigns hype vid from the pre-show aired. THE BIG DOGGERNAUT came down. Bryan's got new gear - maroon and black with silver trim and the Brody boots. They've hurt both guys with this feud - not surprised the fans didn't pop huge for either guy. Roman shoves Bryan into the corner via a tie-up. Bryan gets a sideheadlock and hangs on. Nasty kidney shots from Roman. Roman gets a bad headlock and tackles him down to boos. O Connor roll from Bryan gets 2. The main event is starting really late, so they clearly don't trust Roman just yet even with Bryan in there with him.  Reigns awkwardly tosses him into the corner and stomps him. Bryan's comeback leads to a nice tilt a whirl slam by Roman, that I'll give him in 2K14 later.

Barricade and apron shots to the back from Roman. Bryan kicks the hamstrings a ton, drops a leg and gets a legbar. Roman PUNCHES his way out of it, of course. European uppercut and leg kicks from Bryan. Flapjack from Roman to the ropes and a Samoan drop hits. IF ROMAN WINS WE GO HOME AFTERWARDS sign. Love it. Big diving lariat gets a Jannetty sell from Bryan. Big pumphandle fallaway slam from Roman - another move I'll need to give him in 2K14. Rope draping dropkick hits. Kick to the gut counters the Superman punch. It's called a liver kick and they cite the hernia and it being a possible match-ender.

Tons of stomach kicks in the corner set up the corner dropkick chain. I love Bryan acting as Overeem here to Roman's Lesnar. Punches up top but Roman gets a superbomb for 2.9! Super back suplex hits for Bryan for 2. Boy should he not be taking those. Yes lock is on, but he gets the ropes. TWO SUICIDE DIVES to Roman. Third one is countered and Bryan avoids a stairs spear sending Roman into them. Bryan comes in at 7 and Roman gets in at 9.5. Bryan dives off the top into a thing resembling a Superman Punch for 2. Roman goes to the corner and gets a yes chant. OO-AH SPEAR leads to a small package for 2. High kick! FLYING KNEE HITS FOR 2.9!


Bryan is upset, but then looks more and more determined. Kneeling kicks to the chest! Roman grabs the hand but SUZUKI SLAPS counter that into a flying armbar into the Yes Lock! Roman powers out and lands some sick FPR-style elbows from the mount. I'm going to have fun doing this match in FPR. TRIANGLE! SITOUT RAMPAGE BOMB! I'm going to have fun doing this match in Fire Pro Returns later. Seated elbow and kick exchange is won by Bryan. Kick of death hits! Knee setup, BUT ROMAN HITS THE SPEAR AND WINS! Roman is doomed. He was gassed here with Bryan, and Brock's going to gas him in mere minutes.This is a good setup for a heel turn for Bryan though - I can see him doing a "can't beat the Authority, so I'll join them" deal and then face Reigns post-WM. Bryan tells Roman he'd better kick Brock's ass.


Main Show Part 1 -

Main Show Part 2 -


  1. We're is the divas title match card and the brayn vs Romans match card pix from fastlane

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