Raw rundown eats up FOUR MINUTES of TV time to start. Miz is wacky with Mizdow recapping Bryan being where he is thanks to him. Bryan's facing him and Miz is being a dick demanding Mizdow get him an EGYPTIAN COTTON TOWEL. Bryan squashes Miz with his trademark moves and nothing more. Ryback against Kane. Oh fuck no. They go on for a bit in a slow, plodding match and Ryback pins Kane with Shellshock. So Roman Reigns can't beat Kane, but Ryback can.
Barrett vs. Truth with Dean on commentary. Dean's fantastic stating that clearly the contract was binding since he went to WWE.com and it showed a graphic for the match AND EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET IS TRUE. Love Barrett talking shit and Dean just turning to the side, so Barrett beats up Truth and keeps yelling FAST LANE with Dean responding "yeah!" Great little bits here. Byron asks why he's staring at his shirt and Dean says it's because he only owns two and he got them from Wal-Mart. Truth wins with a distraction finish. This was glorious.
Rusev-Cena hype. Sheamus video. Xavier tells us to FEEEL THAAA POWAHHH! Three white people, including a tiny kid, did the bit. Oh God, they're facing the Ascension, who wins with the Fall of Man. No one gained anything from any of this. Luke carried Roman to a really fun match where Roman COCKS THE FIST and eats a superkick, but rebounds with a spear. I'm all for anything that mixes up his formula, although he really should be doing longer matches with guys like Luke who can work well with him.
Flair-HHH video. BIG SHOW VS. ROWAN. No. Show squashes him and wins with one of the worst chokeslams of his career. Rowan is just beyond dead - PUT THE WYATT FAMILY BACK TOGETHER. Paige squashed Cameron and won with the PTO. Rhodes recap leads to Goldust talking with Renee about how he tried to embrace Stardust and how Stardust is now a cancer that is eating his brother alive and he wants his brother back! If this is it for Dustin, he went out at maybe not the best time (WM would be ideal), but they'll get time and are able to tell a story with the right buildup, so it should work out fine. Kidd faces an Uso until Rusev kills everyone. Seth and Dolph have a good match with WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY too many people out there. Like ten guys and then Seth wins and the heels all kill the faces and Seth STILL DOESN'T HAVE A PPV MATCH after all this. Weird. Okay night of wrestling, nothing but the Dean thing was really must-watch though.
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